Spades
by Utsusemi
Summary: Final Chapter in! In return for 'accidentally' stealing from George, Audrie, also known as the Ace of Spades, is forced to sneak into the palace disguised as a court lady. Stealing of loincloths enclosed. Note: I had to change it to PG13 due to violence
1. Meeting the Ace of Spades

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own the Tamora Pierce works. I wish I did, but I don't, so don't sue me. But you shouldn't sue me anyways because I don't have any money.  
  
Summary: Set when Alanna is 16, after battle at Fort Drell but a few months before the midwinter festival. The plot, put simply, is that a thief sneaks into the palace disguised as a court lady. Beyond that I will say nothing.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
Amongst all of the loud conversations in the Dancing Dove, all of the drunk men singing, people arguing, and random snippets of facts, five men led a hushed discussion in a dark corner, each one never speaking above a whisper. The men continued speaking in quiet voices but suddenly stopped as a waitress walked up to the men.  
  
"Are you going to sit here all night and just talk or will you go ahead and order something?" The girl, at about eighteen, had vibrant red tresses pulled up into a tight braid at the top of her head, and her golden-brown eyes had a flash in them that told them she was not one to mess with. "Well?"  
  
George Cooper sighed, "I'll just have a glass of red wine, thanks." He was about to turn back to the other four to continue talking when she interrupted again-  
  
"And the rest of you?" She was determined to get an order out of all of them, it seemed. In turn they order small drinks, if only to get her to leave. After she left, they began again, this time with quieter voices, as if hoping she would forget to return with their drinks if they were too quiet to bring attention.  
  
But to no avail. She came back but five minutes later with George and another man's drink in her hands. "Wine for you, and an ale for you." With a small 'thunk' she set down the drinks, accepted the money they handed her and began to walk off when George grabbed her hand.  
  
"I'd like my money purse back, please" His eyes met hers for an instant before she shifted them away. She nervously held the purse out for him to take, and the instant he had it back in his hands she began to apologize.  
  
"I'm really sorry. If I had known that you would be able to tell...I won't steal from you again, I swear. No harm done, right? I mean, you have your money back..." She began to stammer and blush, making up excuses as to why she took it, even bowing deeply every few words. Finally George just nodded his head.  
  
" Technically, I should be taking an ear for this," She paled at these words, realizing the consequences. "But... I won't. But next time, be more careful as to whom you're stealing from: it's not always wise to steal from the king of thieves."  
  
She gasped. "Th-the king of thieves?! I-I didn't know! I'm so sorry...but, if you're the king of thieves..." She pulled something out of her pocket and smiled slightly, "Then you'll be wanting back the real coins, not the false ones I put in your purse."  
  
George's eyebrows rose. "False coins?" He took out a coin from his purse. Sure enough, when examined closely, the coin had inaccuracies. "When did you...?"  
  
"Well..." she paused. "Do you want your other things back as well?"  
  
"Other things?" She had stolen more than just his purse?  
  
"Yes." She gave him a straight face, though she seemed to be getting enjoyment from his confusion. Suddenly she began to take items out of her pockets, naming them as she took them out, " Your earing. And the brass buttons on your shirt. And the brass on your boots. And your socks. And..." She trailed off reluctantly, though obviously pleased at their confusion on how she had gotten his socks off while he was wearing boots.  
  
"And...?" George prompted her, waiting for the final item she had stolen.  
  
"Would you like your loincloths back?" She daintily held out them out, as the men around him began to guffaw at the look of surprise on his face.  
  
George blanched. "How on earth?!"  
  
"A small, useless talent. It has no real purpose, beyond the reward of the look on the person's face. Nothing important really. Don't ask me how I manage to, because if I tried to explain I think I'd mess up." The girl began to twirl a side lock of hair as the men merely stared at her in awe.  
  
"When did you manage to steal all of this?" One of the men asked curiously. "And did you steal anything from me as well?"  
  
"Here's how I steal," She began to explain, step by step, speaking a mile-a-minute "First off, I judge the observational abilities of the person I am going to steal from. After all, an unobservant noble is easier to steal from than an experienced man on the streets. Then, according to this, I steal just badly enough that they will notice and demand to have their purse back. As I apologize profusely to them, saying it will never happen again, I switch the coins in the purse to fake ones. Usually I stop there, but occasionally, using my left hand I steal the other things that the person has on them - watches, an earing, metal buttons, anything of value. And clothing items, for the thrill of imagining their surprise when they go home to find that they weren't wearing a loincloth. The trick works amazingly well, and is extremely simplistic." She stopped for a breath, exhausted from talking so much.  
  
For a while there was silence. George quietly contemplated what her punishment should be when he suddenly got an idea. "What's your name?" The question seemed benign but the girl answered warily, "Spades."  
  
"Spades? That's funny, I don't recall Spades being a name." George raised an eyebrow, implying she was to tell her real name, not an alias.  
  
" The Ace of Spades. I've gone by it for the past 10 years. But if you must know my real name- "  
  
" And I must,"  
  
"Then it's Audrelinia. But I prefer Spades. Or Audrie, in the very least." She folded her arms across her chest.  
  
" Lady Audrelinia. That has a lovely ring to it." George grinned. "Men, I do believe we've found our way in." 


	2. Preparations

Disclaimer: Must I? Fine, I don't own anything. Well, I don't own George, Ercole and Marek, nor any of the other characters from SotL that will later appear in this fanfic, though I do own Audrie, or Spades, along with Salen and Jered, and anyone else you don't recognize.  
  
Author Notes: I know you won't read these, since usually I don't, but I'm going to put them up anyways. For one thing, if you read my fic, review it as well. If I don't get reviews, then I think no one likes my story, so I'll just cut it off. That's right, no more Spades stealing loincloths (and she continues this habit in later chapters). Also, I'll only update once I get ten reviews for this chapter. I've currently got several other ideas for fics that I'd like your opinion on, so eventually I will type them all up and post them as an update and would like it if you would vote on which one I should post next. If you actually read this, I'll be amazed, but thanks for reading my fic.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Your...way in? I don't think I understand" Audrie shifted her weight nervously to the other foot. " What exactly do you mean by my being your way in? Your way in to where? And what's so special about me? I think I deserve an explanation here."  
  
"You see, these four men and I" George gestured to the others at the table. "Have been thinking up a plan to steal from the palace over a long period of time. Unfortunately, in order to do this we would require someone to disguise themselves in order to get in. A dangerous mission, I admit, but it would be a perfect way for you to make up for stealing from me."  
  
"Disguise, you say?" Audrie grinned suddenly. She began to untie her braid, and as the hair fell down to her shoulders, it turned to an ebony black, with red hair seemingly attached to the tips. Her eyes faded into an emerald green, to the surprise of the men at the table. "Then you've come to the right person. I happen to be excellent at disguises. I have the gift, and while I can't complete complex spells or even heal, I can change my hair and eye colors. To change the length I merely add hair attachment from horse hair, or even hair from wigs."  
  
The surprise on the mens faces was enough- she broke into peals of laughter. "It's not that complicated, you know!" Grinning, she sat down next the other men. "Now, are you going to introduce me and further explain all of this or what?"  
  
The rest of the night was spent talking and planning. The other men were introduced as Ercole, Marek, Salen, and Jered. The reason why they had chosen her to be the one to sneak in was simple: it would be unusual for a mysterious nobleman to come to the castle for weeks at a time for no apparent reason, but she would be able to pose as a girl from the convent coming to look for a husband during the midwinter festival. It was not unusual for a girl to stay for weeks, even months at a time, giving Audrie plenty of time to steal things of small worth that would add up over the weeks. The plan was mostly experimental, to see if sneaking in unnoticed was possible. ~ ~ ~ ~ "So let me get this right, for the sake of money I have to choke myself to death?" The comment received several chuckles. "What's so funny? I don't find dying from lack of oxygen humorous! I'm serious! This stupid corset....!" This was followed by loud cursing, which, in turn, was followed by even more laughter. Several insults and even more cursing ensued, which, in turn, was followed by further laughter.  
  
At the end of twenty minutes, five men were on the floor laughing outside of George's room in the Dancing Dove. After a momentary recovery, George tapped on the door. "Are you done yet? I was hoping we could leave before I died of old age." The door promptly slammed open, missing hitting his face by but an inch.  
  
"Alright already! It's not my fault these dresses take so long to put on!" Audrie stood in the doorway, this time with wavy sandy brown hair tied up at the top of her head but long enough to cascade down to below her shoulders. Innocent blue eyes and a heavenly smile beautifully accented her hair. In reaction to her sudden appearance, Ercole and Jered sighed.  
  
"Ah, the lass is an image of perfection." Jered smiled and looked upward. His comment only received a scowl.  
  
"Oh, be quiet. This corset is near killing me, I hope to get it off a soon as possible. The sooner I leave for the castle, get there, and am able to take this thing off, the better." She pulled a face as the others grinned.  
  
" You'll be wearing a corset for the next three weeks. From now until the last day of the midwinter festival. If I were you, I'd get used to wearing that corset." George couldn't help grinning at her reaction to this. " And you can't back out now, because the castle is getting prepared to house some five to ten young ladies from the convent, and Lady Audrelinia is expected to be one of them. Luckily we've had it arranged that you're supposed to be from a small, benign fief far, far away. No one should recognize you. We've also managed to find several hidden passageways that should keep you safe should you run to trouble, one that even leads into what should be a guest room..."  
  
"How do you know all of this?"  
  
" I have my ways. Connections, you could say." George smiled.  
  
"And why can't you have these 'connections' of yours do the stealing?" Audrie placed her hands on her hips. "Why make me suffer this corset when you could just have them do all the work?"  
  
"What, and miss all of this entertainment? Never."  
  
" I want a better answer than that, George. I'm not going to go in there and risk getting caught just for you. I may be a decent thief, but I'm not invincible. Considering my chances of being seen, I should be getting something out of this."  
  
"And you are, lass." Jered spoke up, "Three weeks of being treated like a lady. Won't that be nice? Not t'mention the fact that you get a more than fair share of the profits."  
  
"I suppose. But just in case, I'd like to know who these so-called 'connections' of yours are, George." Audrie folded her arms across her chest, attempting to impose her full of height of...five feet, two inches, silently wishing she was taller.  
  
"Servants, mostly. That's how I discovered the secret passageways. Stefan, a hostler. Oh, and a young squire. Alan. If you happen to see him, give him this." George handed Audrie a folded letter.  
  
"I do believe I've seen Alan before. With you, I recall. Served him a few weeks back.." Upon the glare of George she added, "Rest assured, he left with his purse and coins still with him. It's only occasionally that I bother to go overboard with stealing." She sighed and shook her head, false brown hair tossing slightly. Suddenly she slammed her foot down, and a yell of pain came from behind her.  
  
"What was that for?!" It turned out to be some middle-aged man, enraged that she had stepped on his toe.  
  
" I don't like men who decide that just because I'm wearing a dress they can feel up my ass without my noticing. If you don't want a sore toe, or worse, keep your hands to yourself." A glare quickly shut the man up, and he slunk away muttering under his breath as she turned back around to George. "I swear, if that happens one more time I'll do more than just step on their foot."  
  
Suddenly the clip-clop of horses hooves sounded out, signaling that the carriage meant to take her to the palace had arrived. She sighed and picked up her bags. After several farewells from her friends at the dancing dove, Audrie entered the carriage, muttering about dresses and perverted men, and set out for the palace. 


	3. Arrival at the Palace

Sniff...No one loves me!!!!! I'm updating because I have no self- restraint. I said I wanted ten more reviews before updating but here I am, breaking my word because I know I probably won't be getting any more reviews. However, I do want the next chapter to get more reviews, so, yet again, I am going to drill it into your heads that: If you don't review, I think that you hate my fic, so I will never, ever, ever update again! Seriously, just a simple 'I read your fic' will do, and it doesn't take that much time! And for those of you who DID review, I'm really glad that most of you liked Audrie, and I hope that you continue to read and enjoy my fic.  
  
Disclaimer: I own next to nothing. If you must know, my three year-old little sister steals everything I own. It's not my fault. I don't own Alanna, George (although we all want to), Jon or anyone else who you might recognize. I DO own Audrie, the plot, and anything else you don't recognize.  
  
Random Stupid Note I Forgot To Mention Earlier (there will be many of these, considering my memory span): This is set AFTER the Tusaine War, but before Jon and Alanna get together, and two weeks before the midwinter festival. Yes, this is somewhat, though randomly, important. ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Audrie sighed as the Dancing Dove slowly shrank to the size of a pin in her vision, along with the rest of Corus. She fiddled with the foreign weight of jewels on her neck, wishing that she hadn't agreed to this.  
  
'It's too late now.' She thought to herself, 'It's not as if I had much of a choice. It was either sneak into the palace or lose an ear.' Grimacing at the prospect, she put a hand to her ear, as if to protect it from an invisible knife. She shuddered and shook her head, convincing herself that it was best not to think of such things. Instead she began to formulate a plan on how to arrange her 'schedule' of when to steal. She finally decided that after exploring on the first day, to steal once a week would be enough to receive a decent profit yet not get caught. After all, if she stole too often, suspicion that she was not just breaking in would arise.  
  
Throughout the entire trip to the palace she was wrapped up in planning, making sure there was no way she could be caught. By the time she was finished, she realized that the palace was within sight, which meant that soon she would no longer be 'Audrie' or 'Spades' but would instead be 'Lady Audrelinia of Seren' or just 'Mi'lady'.  
  
A drawn out sigh was the only way she voiced a complaint as the carriage gradually came to a halt behind three or four other carriages, all far more expensive looking than her own. She could dimly hear the other ladies' names being announced as each one primly stepped out of one of the carriages. Finally it came to her turn.  
  
"Lady Audrelinia of Seren," She stepped out as gracefully as she could, but at the last moment possible stepped on the hems of her dresses, causing her to trip and nearly fall. She heard laughter from several ladies, but chose to ignore it. Red with embarrassment, she nearly ran into a tall knight in her effort to get out of public view.  
  
"My Lady, are you in need of assistance in carrying your bags?" The knight was over a head taller than Audrie, yet, as impossible as it seemed, an even taller knight stood next to him.  
  
Audrie's only reply to the offer was a glare. "I have no need of help whatsoever, so if you don't mind." She promptly slammed past him, annoyed at the concept that anyone would think that SHE was helpless. She walked up to one a servant and, with a murderous look, requested to be shown to her rooms.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"What was that about?" Raoul looked at Gary after Audrie had walked away. "She seemed angry." Alanna walked up to the two knights, carrying around five bags from different ladies.  
  
" I don't know and I don't care. Take some of these bags, will you? I can't drag all of them." Gary and Raoul each helped themselves to two bags, and turned back to the palace, in order to deliver the bags.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
" I cannot stand nobles!!" Audrie half slammed, half dropped her bags onto the bed in the room she was to sleep. Continuing to mutter about 'stuck-up, sexist, pain-in-the-ass, useless knights' as she surveyed the room. As she looked around, everything confirmed her idea that nobles wasted their money on trivial things. The luxuries of the room, such as the glass doors that led out to the balcony that overlooked the garden four stories below, the gold-framed mirrors and the many paintings on scenery cost enough to feed half of Tortall, it seemed. Audrie snorted at the frivolities of the room.  
  
"Who needs five different vanity mirrors in the bathroom?! Or a closet large enough to live in?!" tsking disapprovingly, Audrie changed out of the sky-blue dress she had been wearing to match her eyes. She changed into a simple black tunic with black breeches, and tied a scarf, also black, around her waist. "Finally, back into my usual outfit." She then began to take down her hair, and stuck it up into a short stiff ponytail at the base of her neck. In the mirror her reflection's eyes changed from crystalline blue to their natural emerald green, though she kept her hair the same. An image reflected in the mirror gasped. Audrie turned around to see a young maid staring at the sudden and drastic change in appearance.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Audrie snapped. "I though I specified that I was to be left alone." Audrie's glare softened slightly as she noticed how the girl was trembling.  
  
"Mi'lady, I did not mean to...But George said to...." The girl began as Audrie suddenly snapped to attention.  
  
"You know George, then?" Audrie breathed a sigh of relief as the maid nodded slightly. "Then that's different. What were his directions to you?" Audrie realized that she must be one of George's 'connections', mostly likely just an acquaintance and not a thief. "He said..." The maid trailed off. "My name is Sarri. I am to be your maid throughout the few weeks you are here, mi'lady. I was told to inform you of the hidden door behind the painting of His Highness, King Roald." Sarri pointed to a painting that couldn't have been more than two feet by three feet.  
  
"You're joking, right? That's no door. A person would barely be able to fit through it!" Walking over to the painting, she lifted the painting of its nail. Sure enough, a door not much smaller than the size of the painting was behind it. "Great. This is how I get in and out of this room. I don't believe it! It used to be, escape ways were made large, so that anyone could get through!" She groaned.  
  
"The passageway connects to the kitchen, on the ground floor. There should be a door to the outside from the kitchen, so that you won't have to enter other rooms and be seen in order to get outside and away. That's what George wanted me to tell you. That and the fact that every once in a while he'll send another thief to sneak in to transport whatever you've stolen so far to him. I'd assume it's a thief he would trust, then. I wish he would trust me like that." The girl sighed wistfully, and Audrie realized why. Sarri had a crush on George!  
  
Shaking her head, Audrie just went to the door that connected to the hall, putting an ear to the door. "If you know all of this, then he does. Now, that's all well and good, but I need to go look around, explore, etcetera, etcetera."  
  
"But it's broad daylight!" The girl protested, "You'll get caught!"  
  
"It is broad daylight, but I'm not going to be stealing anything, just looking around. No one will notice me, and if they do, they certainly won't recognize me as Lady Audrelinia. Now, the coast is clear, so I may as well go." Before Sarri could protest further, Audrie left, closing the door silently behind her.  
  
Looking around, Audrie first went into the rooms that surrounded her own, and discovered them to be guest rooms for the other ladies who were visiting. As she left each one she found herself more and more disgusted with the noble life-style; each room was so large and so grand that it made her sick to think it was wasted on only one person. After she left that wing she went to the wing for nights in hope of finding the room of the squire George had mentioned. After failing there she went and wandered into royalty's wing. She had just gone into the Prince's room (and nearly keeled over from disgust at the quality of everything), when a cry from the doorway surprised her.  
  
"Who are you?!" A young boy no older than 16 in squire's clothing stood in the doorway, staring at Audrie as she held a priceless porcelain vase. "What exactly are you doing the Prince's room?"  
  
Wordlessly Audrie slammed past him into the hallway, not slowing down despite the shouts of 'Stop!' from the boy behind her. She ran past many people who turned around to look at the strange figure running down the hall. Luckily no one actually made an attempt to follow her, for whatever reason they had, but Audrie finally stopped when, while she could still her the boy, he was not quite in sight. She instantly went to work on opening a window when the boy came in sight along with the taller, and obviously older, knight from earlier that day. Had she passed him by? Obviously she had, but took no notice of either of them until she noticed several others behind the two. She opened the latch of the window, climbed out onto the roof and begun close the window when the tall knight grabbed hold her wrist. 


	4. Escape

Disclaimer: I own no one, nothing, nada, zip, zero. Or at least, nothing except for anything you don't recognize. Simple enough, right? So don't sue me, I don't have anything you'd want anyways.  
  
Author's Notes: Yay!! I'm so happy that everyone likes my fic so far! Thank you to those of you who reviewed; it's so nice to know that people actually bother to read it. It seems that cliffhangers get lots of reviews...hmm.... For the record I've already got the next chapter done, so all I need is a lovely ten reviews before I post it! And it includes Audrie stealing more loincloths! (And playing a small practical joke for revenge with them). Bet you can't guess whose. Anyway, I have a favor to ask: in my profile I have a list of Tamora Pierce fics that I may write. I would appreciate it if you would vote on which one you think I should write next. Thanks!  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
* Audrie had opened the latch of the window, climbed out onto the roof and begun close the window when the tall knight grabbed hold her wrist.* She gasped as she recognized him not only as one of the knights from earlier that day, but realized she had also seen him before at the Dancing Dove. Who was he? As she pondered this, she realized he had been talking to her.  
  
"- not safe to go climbing on roofs." Audrie stared blankly for a second, before self-defense kicked in. In a split second a knife hidden within her boot was in her hand, slashing across the knight's arm and shoulder in a lightning-fast movement. He stumbled back in surprise, cursing profusely.  
  
As he stumbled back, Audrie took a step back. A piece of broken tile lay several feet away. Running towards the tile Audrie leapt onto it, and within moments she was sliding bumpily down the roof with the tile beneath her feet. Wind and momentum took her flying off the roof to twenty feet away from the base of the castle.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
From the window, Alanna watched in amazement with the others as the mysterious girl seemed to soar down to the ground. At the last second, they saw her touch the ground at an odd angle, and saw her crumple to the ground. She quickly stood up and ran along the castle sides, for some unknown reason turning at the castle corner rather than running straight into the woods, though from here there was no way that they could follow her. However, as the girl ran, Alanna couldn't help noticing that the girl had a slight limp, and seemed to be running slower than when she was running in the hallway.  
  
"Who was that?" Gary asked. He was confused about the whole commotion. He had only been talking with Jon in the hallway when he saw 'Alan' and Raoul running past and decided to follow.  
  
" I saw her looking in Jonathan's rooms. I had gone back to get something in my own when I saw the door open. When I found her and asked where she was going, she just fled. I was following her." Alanna snapped, slightly annoyed at the fact that she hadn't been able to catch the girl. "I don't see why she was in there. I doubt it was any of her business what's in your rooms, Jon."  
  
"There's not much we can do about this. She's too far off to try to catch, though she may show up again. I wonder what she was doing." Jon pondered for a moment before continuing, "No matter, though. We can only watch out for a strange girl in all black, nothing else."  
  
They all nodded quietly, and a strange silence settled in as Jon, Alanna, Raoul and Gary wondered about the strange girl.  
  
Finally, Gary broke the silence. "Where's Alex?" He looked to the others, who all shrugged.  
  
"Practice ring, no doubt." Raoul grinned, "That man has no life. Really, he should get out more, meet people." He winked as they all knew he was talking about Alex's strange lack of lust towards Lady Delia.  
  
The group of four decided to see what he was up to in the rings, walking side by side talking about beautiful ladies, Alex, sentry duty, beautiful ladies, what the best place to buy armor for a cheap price was, how boring philosophy class was, and beautiful ladies. By the time they met up with Alex, they had forgotten about the appearance of the girl, let alone to mention it in full to Alex.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Audrie winced in pain as she ran around the corner of the palace. At the last instant possible the angle at which she was landing changed, causing her to land incorrectly, jarring her entire body as foot met with solid, packed dirt. The fact that she had to keep running did nothing to soothe the pain in her ankle, that felt as though it were both on fire and frozen at the same time. Finally she came to a wooden door in the back of the castle, and entered quietly. Sure enough, she was in the kitchen, where no one seemed to bat an eye at her coming in the door and heading directly to the pantry.  
  
In the pantry was a small, almost invisible door that opened to a thin vertical corridor with a tall ladder. It was pitch black, so dark that Audrie didn't notice she had come to the top until her head hit the ceiling. One hand holding onto the ladder, she felt around for a latch to open the door. After a moment's fumbling, she found it, promptly swinging the door open. Unfortunately, the door opened to the inside, so it smashed into her face.  
  
Cursing aloud about evil hidden doors seemingly made to be inconvenient, she ducked her head around the door to find the back of the painting still in her way. Swinging the painting out of her way, she came to, at last, the sight of her room.  
  
She 'gracefully' squished through the door and fell onto the hard wooden floor, grimacing at the added pain. After righting herself, Audrie stood up as Sarri entered the room with a small duster. Audrie walked towards Sarri, prepared to tell the maid to leave while she changed clothing. Sarri frowned at the limp in Audrie's step, and instantly walked over to support the girl.  
  
" What happened ?" Her tone was partly chastising, partly sympathetic.  
  
Audrie sighed, " I'm alright. Really" She avoided answering the question, knowing she would get an 'I warned you' from Sarri. She really didn't feel like having to listen to that right now. "You can go. I'll be fine."  
  
Sarri refused, insisting on helping Audrie change into a clean red dress, and put up her hair once again. She insisted that it was not only her job to do such things normally, but even more so when the person is injured. "And you go straight to the healers as soon as your back to Lady Audrelinia."  
  
"Healers are for people who can't take pain." Audrie snorted, " Besides, I'm fine."  
  
"No, you're not, and you're going to the healers whether you like it or not, because otherwise people will suspect." Audrie sighed, and knew she was right; a limp could make the difference between minor suspicion and discovery, and would make a getaway of any sorts next to impossible. And her ankle hurt so much.... It couldn't hurt to use a healer just this once.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ 


	5. The Meeting of Duke Roger

Disclaimer: I think we all know this. Anything you recognize as Tamora Pierce's is, chances are, not mine. Unless you believe that I'm her alternate personality, and if you do, you're more than welcome to continue thinking that way. The stuff you don't recognize is mine. Like Audrelinia, Surri, the dark passageway, a couple of the thieves and the plot.  
  
Author's Notes: This is just my luck: I get nine reviews on the first day and none after that. I want ten, people, ten! Ten reviews means that people bother to read my fic, ten means that you actually like it (unless, of course, you don't). I'm begging you all, vote on which fic I should write next, tell me you think my fic is cruddy, or great, or whatever, just review! I live on reviews and popcorn, if you deprive me, I'll starve! Anyways, for those of you who did review and vote for my next fic (reviewer, Anastazi Silverwind, Rasphody07, and Keita), I decided that my own mind is too morbid for my own good, and took off the Roger and Alex fic. It was temporary insanity, please forgive me. Anyways, vote, vote, vote! ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Audrie left her room to go to the healer's only after twenty minutes of harassment from Sarri to do so. Sarri had even offered to help her walk there, but Audrie would die before she accepted help in a task so benign as walking down the hall. By the time she _had_ walked down the hall, however, she may have been willing to accept the help. The pain in her ankle seemed to spread to her entire leg, making it feel as though flames licked at one side of her body.  
  
At last she managed to enter the healer's room, where she saw a small old man sitting behind a desk, nose buried in a thick volume, with several beds with crisp, white blankets next to him. Audrie stood stock still, not knowing how to explain why she was there. 'I fell off a roof,' was most certainly self-explanatory, but she knew he would ask how she had gotten onto the roof, and why.  
  
As thoughts and excuses rushed through her mind, the old man had noticed her and risen from his chair to greet her. " Good afternoon, my lady. What brings you here?" his bright eyes behind thick eyeglasses had caught hers, and after a moment's hesitance she decided to go with half- truths and avoidances.  
  
"A sprained ankle." No need to explain more than that, she thought. Besides, isn't that what he asked?  
  
For some reason the instant she said her reason the old man snorted. "Women." he grunted, "Can't endure pain for a second, can you? Pathetic." Audrie was tempted to walk up to him and smack him, and only logic that if she did that he wouldn't heal her kept her back.  
  
"No matter," he pointed to one of the beds, " Sit there while I heal, and no resisting."  
  
She plopped down on the bed he had indicated to, lifting her skirts to above the ankle so that he could heal it. Kneeling on the ground, the old man placed two hands on her ankle, and soft magenta light emanating from his fingertips. After a moment the light faded suddenly, and then man looked up to her, brows furrowed. "This is more than a sprained ankle. The bone in your ankle is cracked. You're lucky it didn't break entirely. You didn't just trip while walking to get this injury. What happened?"  
  
A moments hesitation held as though it were a lifetime, before Audrie finally replied, "I tripped while practicing dancing." It's not that much of a lie, she thought. After all, I did trip. Just not while dancing.  
  
The reply from the old man was a look that clearly said he didn't believe her whatsoever. "Mm-hmm," He nodded before going back to work on healing her ankle. "and here I thought that the convent was to teach women not to nearly kill themselves dancing. Silly me."  
  
Audrie glared at him."It wasn't my fault, there was water on the floor. I tripped." The pain faded with the light from the old man's hands, and it soon felt as though the injury was only a distant memory. She stood up abruptly, and began to briskly walk out of the room as the man rose to a standing.  
  
" Funny thing I saw earlier," he commented, just as Audrie was about to leave, causing her to freeze in her footsteps. "Could've sworn I'd seen a person jump off of the fourth floor roof."  
  
"O-oh really?" she stuttered, "And w-why are you mentioning this to me?"  
  
"Oh, I don't know." he shrugged his shoulders. "Not too safe to go jumping of roofs, is it? Could get hurt. Now go on, and be more careful dancing around wet floors. I can't go healing you every instant of the day."  
  
She took this as a dismissal, practically running out the door. She hadn't gone too far when she slammed into someone. "What the-?"  
  
She looked up to see ice-blue eyes, crystal clear, peering down into hers. She took a step back to find that she had run into a tall man in his mid-to-late twenties, tall and richly dressed. Dark brown-black hair glistened in the sunlight, just a few strands falling into his eyes. It didn't take long for Audrie to realize he was quite rich, and obviously important.  
  
"Hello, there, and who might you be?" His voice seemed to be like melted chocolate, luxuriously smooth and deep.  
  
"Audrelinia of Seren. And you?" She knew she couldn't curtsey until he had introduced his title, so that she could curtsey in the proper way to address his title. What she didn't know what how to curtsey in general.  
  
" Duke Roger of Conte." He bowed deeply. "It's a pleasure to meet you."  
  
Knowing he was obviously important, she murmured sweetly, "The pleasure is all mine, my lord," And swept as low a curtsey as she could manage.  
  
Apparently it wasn't low enough, judging from the look on his face at the moment her curtsey went to its lowest, but she wobbled slightly, and knew that if she attempted anything more she would fall over. In a gentleman-like way he supported her arm as she rose again, and she noticed a strange tingling feeling on her skin where he touched it.  
  
"It's an honor to meet you, my lord," She moved her arm away from his once she was standing, and felt the sudden urge to replace the word 'lord' in all of her sentences with 'lard', but refrained.  
  
"May I ask what you were doing in the healer's room?" he inquired.  
  
"I...tripped on some water. I had sprained my ankle and went to the healer's. Nothing serious, I assure you."  
  
He smiled at her faintly, and she had begun to smile back when she suddenly glared at him; now she knew why her skin had tingled when he touched her.  
  
"I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't attempt to read my mind. I find it quite disturbing when I know someone can read my thoughts. They're not really any of your business."  
  
She walked past him, jarring him by slamming her shoulder against him, partly to be rude and partly to make sure the spell he had tried to cast on her to read all of her secrets was broken. Only after she was long out of hearing distance did she begin to mutter about him, but gave a evil grin as she held a wad of cloth in her hands; she'd teach Roger of Conte to leave her alone. 


	6. Roses and Weeds

Disclaimer: A lovely little disclaimer poem, perfect for Valentine's Day:  
  
Roses are red, Violets are blue I no own, so you no sue!  
  
Yay!!! Isn't that the best?! By the way, the disclaimer includes the poem cause I found it on another fic and decided it would be perfect for a fic posted on Valentine's day.  
  
Author's Notes: Boo hoo, boo hoo! The whole world hates me! I was supposed to post this on Valentine's day (thus the freaky poem. I get sentimental once in a blue moon. Unfortunately, if you looked at the sky the other night you may have noticed the strange color of the moon...), but the site was closed until Sunday! The world hates me!!! By the way, I never did get those ten reviews, but I'm posting anyways cause I'm addicted to posting and getting reviews. Oh yeah! I'm also posting the first chapter of another fic, Legacy, and The Last Letter, a one-shot fic. Read them! Please! Also, I recently calculated how many chapters I would have at the rate I was writing them (four chapters a day, and a three-week long stay at the palace), and I came out to around... 84 chapters. Of course, this would vary due to the fact that not all days would have four chapters, but I do plan to have an account of what goes on just about each day, and the main climax will probably end up to be unusually long. Thus, since this is far too many chapters, I'm changing it so that each day is a chapter (rather than four) This means that the chapters will be twice as long, but my output rate should be about the same since I write faster than I post (Yay!!). It also means that author notes will probably be twice as long (Boo...) Thanks!  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Upon entering her room, Audrie shoved the cloth into the drawers of a finely crafted mahogany desk. She would deal with it later, when she wouldn't be noticed. Tomorrow night, perhaps. Until then she could ignore Roger. She was prepared to promptly flop on her bed and do nothing for the rest of the day, something she normally did at home since she only worked in the evenings at the Dancing Dove, when a knock sounded at the door.  
  
"Mi'lady,"  
  
Audrie recognized it as Sarri's voice, and groaned at the prospect that she would never be left alone at this rate. "Yes, what do you want?"  
  
Audrie folded her arms and put on a cross look as she walked over and opened the door. Hopefully Sarri would get implication and leave. Instead the girl just looked plain frightened, thinking that Audrie was going to hit her. Audrie scowled at Sarri's instant reaction of cowering, but instantly replaced it with a kinder look, merely to make the girl say what she wanted and then leaving, rather than just stand there and quiver with fear.  
  
"I....I wanted to suggest that you go outside. It's not proper to just sit in your room all day. All the other ladies will have husbands by the end of this, and you'll be left with no one" A glare from Audrie quickly shut her up.  
  
" I want no one. Or did George tell you otherwise?" Audrie's eyes seemed to turn to ice as she glowered over the young servant. "I didn't come here for a husband and it would do you well to not think that I did. I have no wish to become acquainted with any noble, thus have no reason to go outside."  
  
"B-but people w-would think just that, and become suspicious. I-I only suggested that you go outside t-to prevent suspicion." Sarri stuttered under the cold gaze of Audrie. "Of course," Audrie commented sarcastically, " you only suggested that to make sure I wasn't acting suspiciously. That certainly explains the comment about my being left with no one." Instead of continuing to glower at Sarri, Audrie began to place false earbobs, clipped on rather than pinned, in front of one of the many vanity mirrors in the bathroom. Sarri took this sudden action as a dismissal.  
  
'I hate to admit it, but that girl's right.' Audrie thought to herself, 'If I don't bother to act like I'm looking for a husband, people will suspect. I hate this; unless I act exactly like every other pathetic ditz looking for a man to fawn over, people will think that I'm strange. As if oggling over a handsome man isn't!'  
  
Shaking her head lightly, Audrie finished her preparation for going outside by placing a warm maroon shawl, made out of the softest wool she could've imagined, around her shoulders. She placed her hand on the intricately made door handle, and began to have second thoughts.  
  
'What if I mess up on all of this? Perhaps it'd be better if I just stayed inside all the time. Then I wouldn't have to bother with learning curtseys, and acting sweet to everyone.' Realizing what she was thinking, Audrie reprimanded herself. 'If I thought that way all the time, I'd have gotten no where in life.'  
  
With that thought she nearly slammed the door open, as if declaring to the world that she wasn't afraid to go out. Only after she had done so did she notice a group of knights chatting amiably not far down the hall, standing outside the door of the healer's room. Unfortunately, they had noticed her loud declaration, and were staring at her.  
  
"D'you have a problem with people slamming doors?" Audrie glared at the young lady who was talking with the men. The girl's vibrant emerald eyes flashed at her, and silently dared her to walk over and begin a conversation by tossing her brunette hair and smirking at her. Audrie took the dare, practically stomping over to the men.  
  
"Well, do you?" She cast an icy glance at each of the men, saving her coldest look for the woman.  
  
"I don't recall that being a polite greeting," The emerald- eyed girl commented.  
  
The men stared at the brunette with what Audrie called 'those awful doe eyes people get when they're overly obsessed with the opposite gender'. It gave her the urge to act overtly sweet and innocent to the only one who didn't seem to be under the other lady's spell, but only to spite the brunette. Only after glaring at the brunette did Audrie proceed curtsey, and refused to move her eyes away from the girl as she dipped to the ground. From the strange looks that she got from the knights, she knew this was disapproved of. "I don't believe I've had the honor of meeting any of you. I am Audrelinia of Seren. And you are?"  
  
"Prince Jonathan of Conte. It's delightful to meet you." Audrie smiled but shuddered inwardly at the Prince's striking resemblance to his cousin, Duke Roger.  
  
His hair was more of a charcoal black than the Duke's black- brown, but had the same distinct stiffness and slight disarray to it. They're eyes were the same blue, though Duke Roger's paled in comparison to the vibrant and shocking blue of the Prince's, but the Duke had an icy quality to his that Jonathan replaced with sincerity. Or what looked like sincerity, though Audrie thought it more likely to be false, only shown in order to make his subjects feel more at home with them, though all the while planning to steal, trick and betray them. Audrie regarded all nobles this way.  
  
Unfortunately, while Audrie thought about this to herself, she had missed the names of several of the men who had been introducing themselves. She only came to when she saw violet eyes peering into her own, and a hand gently shaking her shoulder.  
  
"I'm terribly sorry, I must have not been paying attention. I'm afraid my mind wanders quite easily." Audrie winced inwardly upon hearing her stiff form of speech; she would never have spoken this way normally. Why did she have to do this? Blinking back to reality, she saw that the men had not continued in the introductions, but were instead staring at her. As she focused on the knights, they began telling their names once more.  
  
"I'm Sir Gareth, and these other's are Sirs Raoul and Alex, and Squire Alan." The second tallest indicated to each as he announced they're names. "And this is Lady Delia, though you may already know her."  
  
"We have not met. It is a pleasure to meet you all." Again a curtsey was required, and this time Audrie managed with only a few wobbles.  
  
Delia managed a quick glare at Audrie before she began cooing to Jonathan. "I've heard of your talents in fencing, my lord. You are far too modest about them, truly." Delia inched up to Jonathan, ignoring the jealousy that seemed to ooze out of the other men's pores, including, it seemed, Squire Alan.  
  
Upon seeing this blatant attempt on Delia's part, Audrie inched over to Squire Alan, of whom she recognized as the one George had been speaking of when he said he knew a squire at the palace. "I've heard that you managed to defeat those terrible beings at the Black City all on your own!" She latched onto the young squire, knowing that it was a lie that would get Jonathan back to the real world. "How did you manage?"  
  
Jon looked as though he could have killed Alanna at that moment, and quickly detached Delia from himself in order to lecture Audrie on his part of the adventure. He had taken only one stride when Audrie let go of Alanna.  
  
"Ah, going to join the conversation, my lord? Wonderful, we were just discussing the concept of whether dueling can be used to decide disputes." Audrie grinned brilliantly at the others, who seemed rather dumbstruck at the sudden change of subject. "I say that the gods have no time in which they can decide which person is in the right, and certainly can't decide whether he wins or loses, thus the dueling is useless and incorrect, but what do you think?"  
  
Apparently there was some manners code that Audrie didn't know about that said it was rude to bring up a previous subject, for no one mentioned the fact that Audrie had switched from an utter lie to an entirely different subject , but instead the knights, one squire and Audrie struck up a heated debate about duels, leaving Delia somewhat left out of the conversation.  
  
It was only when Delia suddenly interrupted with a comment about Audrie's immense interest in this subject did Audrie suddenly remember she was with a group of nobles and not friends. 'Of course,' she thought to herself bitterly, 'A lady's not supposed to be interested in these things. She's supposed to consider them barbaric and such.'  
  
"Perhaps you would rather continue this discussion on a more ladylike subject, Lady Delia?" Audrie continued on through gritted teeth, "Sewing, perhaps? Or is the thought that a needle could draw a drop of blood just too horrendous for your frail heart to consider?" With that Audrie turned on her high heel, nearly slamming into a page as she stomped off, leaving the bewildered group behind her.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Audrie sighed as she wandered through the royal garden, bitterly admiring the beauty of the roses and other beautiful flowers. In one patch she saw a wide variety, with everything from a prideful red rose bush to a strong oak tree to bright violets and bleeding hearts tinged a deep crimson. She counted as many as six or seven different kinds of plants, each one lovely in its own way. She sighed as she wistfully picked one of each, thinking of how amazing it was that all of these different plants could live in one place. She continued on to see other patches, all with different kinds of flowers. Everything was so lovely, yet in one neglected corner was barren, the only plant growing there being horseweed, known for being poisonous but also barbs. Nothing would be eating that weed, that was for certain.  
  
Audrie sighed and looked back at all the other plants. Turning back to neglected corner, Audrie decided that someone should care for that weed. The world, she smiled, needed more of them.  
  
'Funny,' she thought, 'How I managed to go from cursing evil nobles to worrying about weeds in the garden. Being in this palace gives me too much free time. It allows me to be around myself too much.' After watering the horseweed, Audrie turned back to continue walking in the garden. She was about to head back inside when a rustle came from behind her. Turning around swiftly she came face to face with Gary.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Audrie snapped, thinking that he had come to bother her further. "I would think you'd be better entertained staying inside with Delia."  
  
Gary chose to ignore the latter comment. "Lovely sunset, don't you think? But perhaps you'd prefer to come inside once it's dark, considering it gets quite cold out here." He offered an arm to her, implying that he would escort her inside. "Don't think that a little cold would keep me from going outside if I wanted to." Audrie snapped, but proceeded to briskly walk past Gary, ignoring his offer of escorting her, and went inside. ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
'As if the day hasn't been long enough,' Audrie muttered as powder was puffed onto her face in order to prepare for dinner. 'Now I have to endure old men rambling about taxes, laws and who knows what else that will make me fall asleep in my soup.'  
  
Looking in the mirror, Audrie sighed at the reflected image of the perfect lady: Her hair was in rich sandy curls piled at the top of her head, and her eyes blinked with an innocence that drove her nuts. The rustling of her crimson silk skirts was merely aggravating, and she grimaced at the pain of shoving her toes into tiny shoes. But at least she fit the part; no one would suspect the wide-eyed girl of stealing from every noble in the country.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Gliding out of her room and into the dining room, Audrie was seated next to another girl from the convent, several knights, and, most importantly, the crown prince. Audrie could have sworn that someone had rigged the seating arrangements just to torture her. Seating herself primly, she absentmindedly listened to the dull roar of conversation as she ordered, received, and ate her divinely cooked roast beef in tiny, prude bites. She had been staring blankly at the knight who had been talking last time she checked when she realized that someone was speaking her name.  
  
"Lady Audrelinia? Lady Audrelinia?" It turned out that the only other lady at the table was whispering fervently in her ear, trying to call to her attention that the prince was looking in her direction.  
  
"Yes, my Lord?" Audrie smiled and spoke through a tightly clenched jaw, wishing that the meal was over.  
  
"I was asking you about your homeland, the fief of Seren. We haven't heard any reports from it recently, and, quite frankly, had thought it had been burned down in an attack from bandits."  
  
"Well," Audrie had never even been there, how was she to know anything? "To be entirely honest, it has been several years since I myself have been there, though I have heard nothing of its being attacked by bandits. And what of your fief, um..." Audrie groped for the name of the other young girl at the table, and realized there had been introductions but she had missed them. "Selia," The girl prompted, "Selia of Eagle's Peak." A nod from Audrie encouraged the girl to continue, but now that the prince had focused on her, she began to stutter. "My fief... N-not really much g-going on there. The c-crops were frozen th-though, and... and..." Selia drifted off, causing Audrie to go back to staring at her now-empty plate.  
  
Audrie had continued staring at her plate for twenty minutes when a chill ran down her spine. Looking around quickly, she came to realize that a pair of eyes bored into her backside. The pair of eyes were Duke Roger's, and quickly Audrie began to become uncomfortable under his strong gaze. How long had he been staring at her? It made her shiver just to think that he had taken an interest in her, and it was not before long that she was a millimeter away from ignoring manners entirely and going over to him and slapping him. At the instant she was prepared to do so, against good judgement entirely, dinner ended.  
  
Walking back to her room, Audrie contemplated why on earth Duke Roger would bother to watch her like that. Perhaps he had already noticed his missing undergarments? That couldn't be good, she had plans for them. And she knew he wouldn't be happy when he discovered those plans. She had just placed her hand on the silver doorknob when a small tap on her shoulder caused her to jump.  
  
"Lady Audrelinia?" The voice was Selia's. Apparently the young girl had followed Audrie. "I need some advice."  
  
"Oh?" Audrie arched a brow. "Well then you should ask someone else. I'm not one to go asking about whether your ribbon matches your shoes. Now leave me be."  
  
"You don't understand, it's about Prince Jonathan."  
  
"And you probably know more about him than I do, so why bother me?"  
  
"But you seemed so comfortable when you spoke to him. Not like me. I stutter and don't know what to say so that I don't sound like a fool. Please help me."  
  
"Is that all?" Audrie groaned. She wasn't here to give advice! "Well, if you want to say something and not sound like a fool, don't say foolish things." Tears welled up in the other girl's eyes. "Listen, you asked me for help and this is what you get. The fact is, I doubt Prince Jonathan is very interested in fiefs whatsoever. You would do better to talk to him about something you both have an opinion about."  
  
"Like table manners?" Selia suggested, and received the reaction of a sour face from Audrie.  
  
"I doubt it. Try politics, like whether the latest law is reasonable. Or war tactics, or anything better than that." The look on Selia's face was one of pure horror.  
  
"It would never do to speak of such things to a prince!" Selia gasped, "It would be...improper!"  
  
"And why would that be? I assure you, he probably talks of such things to his friends, so why not with you? If you can prove that you have a brain in that hollow skull of yours, he may actually find you interesting." With that Audrie turned around and went into her room, leaving the bewildered and slightly insulted Selia behind. As she entered she saw a familiar figure sitting on her bed.  
  
"I never knew you gave advice on ladylike subjects,"  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
(More) Author's Notes: Did anybody catch the symbolism in this chapter? If you did, e-mail me what you think the symbolism is, and the first person to guess right gets a hint on several things, Audrie's past included. Yay!! (I love e-mails, so feel free to randomly e-mail me at any time.) 


	7. The Second Night

Disclaimer: Oh yes, I own everything that you'll be reading about in the next chapter. I made up all of these brilliant characters and wrote three series of books and am currently a millionaire. Not. I wish I owned all of these, but let's face it, it's nearly impossible to bribe the copyrights person any more.  
  
Author's Notes: Does anyone actually read this? I've decided to severely cut down on my author's notes due to the fact I noticed that everyone I know doesn't read them, and even I don't read them, so chances are almost no one else does either. From now on, this will be mostly for answers to any questions you might have and thank-yous for any reviewers. (Thank you to Meichanniko for beta reading a part of my fic and suggesting the comment about Roger and the boar.)  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"I never knew you gave advice on lady like subjects." Jered sat on Audrie's bed, grinning from ear to ear.  
  
"What are you doing here?!" She snapped the door shut behind her, "You shouldn't be here! What if someone sees you?!"  
  
"Now, now, who's going to just waltz into your room without knocking? I thought these people had manners."  
  
"That's not the point!" Audrie began massaging her temples, amazed at Jered's haphazard outlook. "Just how did you get in here?"  
  
"The door behind the painting. I thought you knew about it." Jered steered Audrie to sit down in front of the mirror and began helping her with her hair. Defensively she stuck her hands on her head and made a face at him.  
  
"Of course I know about the hidden door. Not that you could even call it a door." Audrie stuck her tongue out at Jered. "And besides, you're avoiding my other questions. What are you doing here?"  
  
"Helping you with your hair." Jered replied in a matter-of-fact tone of voice, "Now take you hands off your hair, otherwise I'll get nothing done."  
  
"You're not answering." Audrie growled. "And I won't move my hands. What if someone knocks on my door? I'd open it and not only would you be here but my hair would be different as well. I can't take chances like that!"  
  
"Much too uptight," Jered tsked, "You need to loosen up a bit."  
  
"You would be uptight too. People expect me to be some perfectly helpless lady. One who can't carry her own bags and doesn't know a thing about dueling. I'm expected to listen to some of the most boring conversations on the face of the earth, and then when I try to bring up something interesting, they claim I'm unladylike! I don't even want to be ladylike!"  
  
"Poor soul. You know we all feel for you." Jered pulled a flask out, handing it to Audrie. "Perhaps you'll do better with a little something decent in you."  
  
Audrie snorted, but accepted the flask none the less. After taking a long drink she handed it back to Jered. "If you're only here to bother me," She glared at him, "You may as well go. I've had a bad enough day as it is."  
  
"I'm hurt really." He pretended to wipe a tear from his eye, only receiving a scowl in reply. "Actually, George sent me here. Mostly to go over your basic plan, but also since you could use some companions that aren't tightwads for friends over the next three weeks. After all, they could be a bad influence on you. Who knows, you could go respectable,"  
  
"Me? Never!" Audrie feigned distress, placing a slender hand to her forehead. "Oh, woe is me, that I must be in company of such knaves!" At this comment both broke into peals of laughter, until it occurred to Audrie that they might attract attention, and shut Jered up. Now they looked at each other in silence, with grave looks on their faces.  
  
"Down to business."Audrie gave a small smile and pulled a piece of paper approximately two feet by four feet from the drawers in the desk. She nodded to Jered as she began to sketch the outlines of the castle, pointing to the ways in, specific rooms of important people, and other particulars.  
  
It was two in the morning by the time Jered left, and Audrie felt drained as she lay down on the altogether too soft bed to fall into a deep sleep.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Waking up to birds chirping outside her window, Audrie wished that the birds would shut up rather than sing. She truly had not gotten enough sleep last night, and considering her plans, she wouldn't get much more tonight. Dragging herself out of bed, Audrie saw that a warm bath had been prepared for her, and had only sunk into the comforting water for a moment when Sarri rushed in to help her.  
  
"I'm not helpless you know. I can bathe myself, in the very least." Audrie glared as the young maid proceeded to wash Audrie's hair. "I don't need you."  
  
"Of course not," Sarri smiled sweetly, obviously not believing her, "But I'm here either way, and may as well make myself of use. There's a dear,"  
  
Sarri proceeded to pamper Audrie, much to her protest, by helping with makeup, hair, and dressing Audrie. By the time Audrie was done with everything, she wore a silver-blue floor length dress with an extremely low neckline, and a large scowl on her face. Audrie hated being treated as though she couldn't do anything on her own, and knew she would be getting this treatment from now until the end of the three weeks. At this rate, she would be driven insane before that time was up.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Breakfast went nearly the same as dinner, with Audrie this time placed next to a group of snotty court ladies and a few knights. She felt sick to her stomach each time one of the ladies flirted with one of the knights, and nearly smacked one knight who had tried to flirt with her. Audrie said next to nothing throughout the entire meal beyond 'please pass the butter,' and was more than grateful when the end of breakfast was announced.  
  
Unfortunately, after breakfast there was next to nothing to do. A court lady could visit the practice rings to watch the knights fight on friendly terms, but Audrie knew this to be where all of the other ladies would be visiting, ensuring the same sickening flirting between two genders, something Audrie would give anything to avoid.  
  
There was the garden, but Audrie knew that this too was a place for flirting. She remembered how she intended to water that weed, but swore she would do it later when she would run into some knight that would think her a chance to bed a pretty lady.  
  
That left two places: her room, for the rest of the day, a prospect Audrie knew Sarri would dislike and Audrie herself would not enjoy spending the entire day in, or there was watching the pages train. Audrie grimaced at this concept. It pained her to think of watching young boys clumsily handle weapons they shouldn't be allowed to touch and then think themselves good at it. Then again, she knew there wouldn't be any other court ladies there, and there wasn't really any choice.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
She entered the field in which the pages were training to see the second year pages pathetically attempting to handle swords. They had been drilling for the past hour, and the majority felt as though their arms had turned to jelly. Audrie quietly went to sit on a bench, hoping to attract as little attention as possible. She failed; the pages all turned towards her silent gaze, several gawking at her nerve to come and watch them. Most turned bright red as the training master barked at them to go back to work, and instantly turned their backs to Audrie to face the training master.  
  
She watched them for an hour or so before the training master yelled at the pages to stop. He announced that they would be learning knife fighting now: the knight's world was dangerous enough fighting against other trained knights that followed rules, but knaves and rogues followed no law, and would sink to anything to win a fight. To make sure that the knight could protect himself from a low blowing theif, they would be learning to fight with knives. Audrie snorted at this comment; as if knights followed rules? Unlikely. Knights cared nothing for rules when it came to dealing with commoners; they had less honor than a rat, in Audrie's opinion.  
  
She watched as the training master passed out short knives, not longer than four inches, to each boy. He then proceeded to show them how to 'properly' hold the knives and spent the rest of the time correcting them. Audrie laughed at the grip the training master had shown the pages- it would be so loose and uncomfortable any decent thief could defeat those pages in the blink of an eye. Because of how the training master himself wasn't properly taught in how to handle knives, he was teaching the pages incorrectly as well. Amongst all of the boys sadly handling the weapons incorrectly, a young boy was easily whipping the knife around, looking almost as though he had been born with it in his hand. Or at least, he was, until the training master came around and fixed his hold from what was, in truth, correct to the way they had been taught earlier. The boy began arguing with the training master, yet Audrie was too far away to actually hear what was being said. The training master promptly pointed to the stables and said something, leaving soon after with the boy looking somewhat dejected.  
  
After the training was done, Audrie wandered up to the young boy, hoping to find out both what the argument had been and how he had learned to handle a knife. She walked over to find him chattering eagerly with others, but the instant she walked over the others turned slightly red and told him they'd see him later (and winked at him, but Audrie chose to ignore that).  
  
"So." She stared at him expectantly, rasing a pencil thin eyebrow. "I see you don't know your place."  
  
"Well," The boy blushed slightly at her accusation; he knew he wasn't supposed to argue with the training master, but had forgotten when the old man had corrected his position. "It's not my fault."  
  
"Oh, really? It's not? And how's that?"  
  
"I was only properly holding it, the way I learned when I was younger, and then he goes and tells me I'm wrong! I don't deserve to be forced to help clean out the stables for the next week just because of that!"  
  
"Perhaps you had learned incorrectly. He was only helping you improve." Silently, Audrie knew she was lying through her teeth. He had been holding the knife correctly all right, but only if she accused him of being in the wrong would she manage to find out where he had learned it all.  
  
"But I was holding it correctly, I know I was!"  
  
"You sound like a spoiled child to me," Audrie suddenly realized that she had lost her polite facade long ago. But the boy hadn't seemed to notice, and she couldn't suddenly switch back now. She cursed herself for her inability to act like the proper noble.  
  
"But we're supposed to be learning to fight against thieves, and it was a thief who taught me! How could I be incorrect?" The boy defended himself in such a way that threw Audrie off. What sort of thief would lower himself to teaching a noble?! The thought made her sick.  
  
"So you learned from a thief? Perhaps the thief was inexperienced. But let me ask this: why did this thief teach you? I suppose you blackmailed him in some way?" Audrie felt as though she would grind her teeth to powder by the time this conversation was over. "No!" The boy looked almost as angered as Audrie felt, which surprised her. "I would never do that! The thief was one of the best thieves in Naren, I would never have been able to catch her and blackmail her! Besides, she was a friend!"  
  
This declaration nearly made Audrie fall to her knees; the young boy said he was from Naren, a fief she had stayed in for a year or so only two years ago or so. She would have known if one of her fellow thieves had been teaching the son of the lord.  
  
"You say 'she'. So the thief was a female?" Audrie hadn't known that many other women thieves there, how could she have not known if one of them had sunk that low.  
  
"Yes," The boy nodded to Audrie's question, "Her name was the Ace of Spades. She taught me for nearly half a year."  
  
"What?!"  
  
She had never- she wouldn't have- Suddenly it hit her. When she was in Naren she had indeed taken on a young boy to teach. But the boy had been a commoner! He had claimed he wanted to learn the ways of the rogue, and to travel to Corus with her, her next destination. He had learned well, but stopped visiting her after one day. She had left without him. It hit her that the young boy had lied. He had been no commoner, he was a noble.  
  
"How dare you." She felt sick that she had helped a young noble. "How could you have lied to her? Used her to learn to show off to your friends?"  
  
"I didn't! She was a friend of mine! I never meant to- " He never finished; Audrie had left before he had even finished his sentence.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
'How could I have been so stupid?' Audrie felt like slamming her head against a solid wall. 'Why would he have always gone home each day before dark otherwise? He had had an usual accent, but I had chosen to ignore it! Why?'  
  
Audrie didn't even bother to do anything else for the day. She went into her room and brooded until Sarri came in to help her prepare for dinner. Her unusually cold silence was disconcerting for Sarri, but the young maid chose to ignore it. Only after Audrie had left the room in an elegant green dress, did Sarri pause to wonder why Audrie had been in such a cross mood.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
At dinner Audrie's already bad mood worsened. She had been placed between to chatty ladies that loved to converse with each other but utterly ignored her. By the end of the meal she felt that death would be too swift for the two women, not to mention the other knights that sat around her. Her only comfort was that tonight was going to be very, very fun. As she finished up her meal she memorized faces to choose vict- er, 'subjects' for tonight. Stomping out of the dining hall, Audrie headed directly out to the garden. Partly for want of fresh air and a break from nobles, but also to visit the horseweed from the day before. Pooling water from a fountain in her hands, Audrie watered the small weed silently. Sitting cross-legged beside the thorny shoot, she began to silently whisper to the small thing, confiding her troubles in the plant. She had been quietly complaining for nearly twenty minutes when she noticed someone nearing her.  
  
"Who's there?" She stood suddenly and found herself face to face with a particularly annoying duke. "Ah, my lord. What a pleasure to see you." 'Pleasure, as in, the same kind of pleasure I would have in helping a wild boar pick its nose. Not that there's much of a difference between you and the boar.' While she thought this, she certainly didn't voice it, and merely swept a curtsey.  
  
"The pleasure is all mine." Roger smiled and bowed in reply.  
  
'I don't doubt that,' Audrie thought wryly, all the while wondering what exactly he was doing here. "I assume you're having an enjoyable stroll in the gardens?"  
  
"Would you care to join me?"  
  
'How to avoid such an offer?' Audrie cursed the nobles who had written the rulebook for manners. "I wouldn't want to impose. Surely I would only be a hindrance. It's always far more tranquil to walk alone."  
  
"Of course, of course. Perhaps another time." Roger smiled broadly. From this Audrie knew that he would be bothering her again, more likely in a spot where she could not avoid it.  
  
She curtsied as he left her to be once again alone. Muttering about trouble-making dukes and their pestering ways, and quickly made her way back to her room. ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Once back in her room, Audrie immediately took down her hair, changing it back to both original length and color. At the same time she ordered Sarri not to open the door for anyone, with the excuse that she would be bathing. She sighed with relief as she took off her dress and corset, changing into the much more comfortable black breeches and shirt she normally almost lived in. Tying her black scarf around her hips, Audrie retrieved her deck of cards and the lovely wad of cloth she had brilliant plans for that she couldn't wait to deal out. With those in hand, she sat waiting for enough time to pass that she could leave.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Nearly six hours had passed with Audrie still waiting. No one had come to bother her yet, and Sarri had long gone to sleep, considering it was nearly two in the morning. Audrie was confident to say that everyone else in the castle was asleep, with exception of the sentry outside. Everyone, that was, but her.  
  
Sneaking silently out of her room, Audrie was in her element. She stole silently into first the rooms next to her, taking care to move without sound on her barefoot feet. From those first rooms she took a single earing, pens, books, anything small that would not be missed or would be assumed to have just been lost. She left only her calling card, the Ace of Spades, within the ladies' rooms, in a jewelry box or on the bookshelves.  
  
Audrie's next instinct was to head to the royalty's rooms. Within there she found, yet again, proof that those who were high up were spoiled far beyond what she believed proper. She felt sick to her stomach as she saw the chandelier, mahogany desks, antiques, things that she would have had to kill for, decorating the room as though they were small trifles. Of course, to a king, they were. Silently she stole the smallest of things, in particular from the queen's jewelry box, the king's fine clothing, and even dared to take a small painting that had been in the bathroom. Somehow she doubted they would miss it.  
  
Wandering into the prince's room, Audrie found that it was in fact much less decorous than the king's. Not that you couldn't have fed half the country by selling most of the things in his room. She noticed, with a grim smile, that beside the prince lay her least favorite court lady, Delia. It made sense that they were sleeping together; Audrie could have guessed it from the way Delia had acted around the prince the other day. She was now far more confident in her stealing, taking several coins from his purse, along with a few things off his person as well, partly because he was wearing a good many things of worth, but also in part to make him suspicious of Delia. Before she left, she flicked a small ace of spades card into his shirt pocket.  
  
The rest of the night was spent with Audrie stealing from the rest of the castle, occasionally returning to her room to stash things of particular worth in her closet. By three in the morning she had stolen enough to pay George back double for the dresses he had bought her. She smiled as she realized she had just a few more rooms before she could fulfill her plans with the wad of cloth she had stolen from Roger. (AN: you may have guessed what the wad of cloth is, but I bet you don't know her plans for it!)  
  
Her final rooms were in the knight's rooms. She had just stolen from Gary, smiling wickedly at several bad poems he had attempted to write to Delia, among other ladies, and added in a few vulgar lines here and there.  
  
She next went into Raoul's room, where she found him asleep at his desk, which was covered in papers scribbled with calculations. She realized that he had fallen asleep while working on calculating costs for supplies. She nearly laughed outright at some of the letters he had written to ladies, before catching herself; it wouldn't do at all to wake him up while she was in his room. Instead, she took a small rose pin that had been laying on his bookshelves. Beside him she left her calling card, the ace of spades, and wrote with one of his quills, 'sleep well, sincerly, the Ace of Spades'.  
  
Even though she was done stealing for the night, Audrie still had plans to complete. She went to the large door that led into the dining room, grinning as she held out a small hammer she had stolen from a toolshed, a nail, and the wad of cloth she had stolen from Roger. She had warned him to leave her alone, yet she had found his gaze falling on her consistently each meal. Now she would get revenge. Audrie placed the cloth to the large door and began lightly tapping the nail into the door on top of the cloth along with one of her ace of spades. It was a slow process, considering how she had to be as quiet as possible yet still manage to nail the cloth to the door, and took nearly twenty minutes. But once she was done she was more than pleased with her work. She left knowing that the reaction to Roger's loincloths nailed to the door would be quite entertaining when she awoke tomorrow. 


	8. Ties

Disclaimer: I think we can guess by now that I don't own anything that Tamora Pierce owns, and she doesn't own anything I own. So, there's no need to bother me with threats of suing, especially since I don't have enough money to get sued (I used to have $60, but it disappeared in the wash).  
  
Thank you to all who reviewed! For the first time ever I received ten reviews! Special thanks to Hannirose, the tenth reviewer! (By the way, there will not be any romance between her and the boy she trained because he's twelve and she's eighteen, and while I don't disapprove of age difference, I think twelve's too young since this only lasts three weeks) Thanks again!  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
The rest of the night was, indeed, spent sleeping well, with Audrie gleefully waiting to see the reaction on everyone's faces come morning. Unfortunately, she had stayed up to such a point that by the time she had awoken, the sun had long been up, and she could guess that her 'surprise' had already been discovered.  
  
Running down the hall in hopes that she would still be in time to see at least Roger's reaction, Audrie found a large crowd surrounding the door on which she had nailed the loincloths to. It seemed she was right on time: the duke was currently calmly walking down the hall, oblivious to the fact that his loincloths happened to be a public spectacle not too far away.  
  
A knight, obviously trying to hide a laugh by way of coughing several times, spoke to Roger in a hushed voice, using gestures to indicate what the crowd was so interested in. Audrie found herself quite pleased when she saw Roger turning red in the face, and she herself had to hid a grin behind a hand.  
  
Roger stormed over to the door, plowing through the large group of people to see that the knight had spoken no lie; his loincloths were soundly nailed to the door, with, he noticed, a playing card, upon which was written, 'I believe the Duke will be wanting these back, please be so kind as to return them to him.' He promptly turned far redder than before, turning to a shade that would make any rose envious, and ripped both card and clothing off the door, leaving only a the nail and a piece of cloth still stuck to the door.  
  
"Would've worked better if you'd removed the nail." Audrie muttered, before bothering to notice that most of the crowd was now leaving. She was more than happy with the results of this prank, thinking that she should do similar things more often. She then went into the dining room, to find where she was to be seated this time, and, what she predicted, to die of boredom once more.  
  
Audrie found herself, to her lament, seated -once again- next to Selia, and also next to a knight that she had met the other day. What was his name again? Raoul? She hadn't really bothered to notice. She was also, unfortunately, stuck next to Prince Jonathan, and several other painfully boringly polite knights. It seemed she was doomed to die of what she considered a terrible disease: Proper Manners. She shuddered at the thought. Despite the fact that the seating arranger was out to get her, Audrie found herself holding back laughter as she saw people, most of whom had very confused looks on their faces, holding up cards and staring in such a way that, quite honestly, reminded Audrie of goldfish. She also became quite proud when she saw both Delia and Jonathan's rather sullen expressions.  
  
Audrie had been listening to Selia drone on about the difference between forks for fish and forks for steak for approximately twenty minutes before feeling the need to scream. Of course, she couldn't help but notice that, beyond the moody Jonathan and near-asleep Raoul, most seemed utterly entranced by Selia, never taking their eyes off of the young court lady. Or, at least, never taking their eyes off her bosom.  
  
Desperate for conversation, Audrie turned first to Jonathan, who only turned away and sighed. Muttering about spoiled princes, she turned instead to Raoul. "So."  
  
"So?" He looked at her, wondering what she was babbling about.  
  
"Well, are you going to endure this boredom or will you actually bother to say something?"  
  
"What's there to say?" Raoul sighed, "It's not as though I could just interrupt her. That's rude."  
  
Audrie felt like slamming her head against that table. What was with nobles and having everything be perfectly polite? "So start a conversation that doesn't involve her. Then it can't get nearly as boring. Here's a start: why do you have a card in your pocket?" Again Audrie felt like slamming her head against a table, this time due to her own stupidity. Just what she needed, a reason for a knight to wonder how she knew about the card.  
  
"This card? Why do you ask?" Raoul raised an eyebrow at her strange conversation starter.  
  
"Why not? Is there anything better to talk about? Forks, I suppose?"  
  
"How very true." Raoul grinned, " So you wanted to know about the card?"  
  
Audrie nodded, "I've seen several others with similar cards, and wondered why so many people find the ace of spades so fascinating." 'Great,' she thought to herself, 'go ahead and scream it out that you're the Ace of Spades already, Audrie. You give the exact same impression by giving away that you know so much.'  
  
"Well..."  
  
Raoul seemed reluctant to explain. Of course, this had been Audrie's goal: steal everything that people don't want others to know they had. But now it was working too well; no one would tell her anything!  
  
"I used to have a pin from Lady Delia." Raoul began explaining under a hushed breath, proving to Audrie that he was still worried but not enough to go back to listening to a conversation about eating utensils. "She gave it to me one night after a dance. I'd rather Jon not know since he tends to... overreact to thinking that a lady he takes a liking to enjoys the company of anyone other than him. Particularly, it seems, in the case of Lady Delia."  
  
Audrie could have groaned at Raoul's comments. "And what does this pin have anything to do with the card everyone's carrying around?" She knew relatively well, but wouldn't admit to that. Besides, it was interesting to hear the side story of the small rose pin she had stolen just the night before.  
  
"Last night I fell asleep at my desk while working at some problems. When I awoke this morning I found that the pin had disappeared and that someone, a lowly thief, apparently, had left me a note in return for the pin."  
  
Lowly? Audrie gritted her teeth as she heard his description of her. Obviously he hadn't met her in her normal appearance, but she felt like bashing his head in for considering her a cheap thief, practically with the ability of a pickpocket.  
  
"Actually, I'm impressed with the thief. Not only did he manage to get past the guards, but also snuck into my room without my waking up. I'm a very light sleeper; that takes talent."  
  
So now he was complimenting her? Plastering on a fake smile, Audrie merely nodded her head, not knowing how to reply in an unbiased way. After a moment of grinning somewhat stupidly, she realized Raoul had something of a sad look in his eyes. "What's wrong?" She shook him lightly by the shoulder, apparently waking him from a daze.  
  
"Hm? Sorry. It's nothing."  
  
"And I'm the queen of Galla. Seriously, what's wrong?"  
  
"I just wish that the thief hadn't taken something of such sentimental value." Raoul sighed.  
  
That was it? Audrie felt let down. A friend dying, world troubles, something. Not the fact that the thief had taken a little pin that he was attached to. "Hello? It was a pin. A pin from Delia no less. I don't see why you would even want one from her."  
  
The instant she said this Raoul looked at Audrie as though she were insane. Obviously it had never occurred to him that he could never win Delia's heart. Delia was far too busy dallying with the prince to bother with Raoul. Why she gave the pin to Raoul in the first place was beyond Audrie.  
  
"Right. Never mind." Grinning brightly, albeit an extremely false grin, Audrie dismissed herself from the table.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Audrie had been slamming her head against the wall for ten minutes before Sarri stopped her. To think she had been so stupid as to let herself talk about her cards and how she had stolen things last night. Her knowledge on the subject screamed 'I'm a thief I'm a theif'. But then again, things like that only acted as a warning to another thief, and it seemed that Raoul hadn't noticed her bizarre interest in the subject whatsoever.  
  
Audrie paced the room for some twenty minutes, wondering whether anyone would think her strange when it occurred to her that she was worrying far too much. Everything these days was 'will they suspect me for this?,' and 'will they suspect me for that?.' It was high time she cut herself some slack. Doubtless, any decent lady would think her terribly rude and never speak to Audrie again, but then again, that would never kill her.  
  
Upon this decision, Audrie felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She never should have bothered with trying to learn all of the manners anyway. The truth was, she could never be as graceful as a noble, but that was something she considered a good thing. Who wanted to be a prim and polite?  
  
Sighing with relief, Audrie plunked herself on her bed, asserting to herself that there was good reason to celebrate this decision, and what better way to celebrate than to do as she always did? A flask of brandy and a long afternoon nap after that. That was the way she celebrated a good night's steal normally, so why couldn't she do it now? No one would notice that she was gone.  
  
She had only taken a sip of brandy before a sadness washed over her. This was, indeed, the way she always celebrated, and it made her miss being at the Dancing Dove, laughing with the bartender and other waitresses, along with so many of her fellow thieves. She never missed her true home when she left so long ago, but over the past year or so she had become rather attached to Corus and its people. It took her a moment to realize why she felt so sad: she was homesick for the informality, and gaiety of the city, in comparison to the dull lifestyle of nobles. To think that the people here thought they had the advantage over those in the slums!  
  
As she was contemplating this, Audrie heard a small tap on the door, along with several whispers outside. Muttering about nobles and inconvenient timing, she opened the door to find herself face to face with Raoul, the Prince, and the others from the group she had spoken to yesterday.  
  
"What do you want?" Audrie snapped at all of them, and most seemed surprised at her change in manner from the day before.  
  
"We noticed you don't have many friends," Raoul began.  
  
"And I can only wonder why." Gary, muttering under his breath, received a sharp glare from Audrie.  
  
"And were hoping you would like to come for a walk." Raoul finished, hoping Audrie hadn't noticed Gary's side comment. Unfortunately, she had.  
  
"Why should I?" Audrie glared, "It seems your friend here is less than interested in becoming a friend."  
  
Surprised at Audrie's bluntness, Gary stuttered. "I-I guess I shouldn't have-"  
  
"Don't apologize for something you're not sorry for." Audrie began to close her door on the group standing before her, only to be stopped by Gary.  
  
"No. Truly. It was rude, and I'm sorry."  
  
"Oh, really?"  
  
Audrie was tempted to accept what seemed to be a sincere apology, for, though she loathed to admit it, she had something of a soft spot for people who apologize well. Softening her voice slightly, she added, "I doubt you'd want me along anyway. Leave me be."  
  
She continued closing the door until she noticed the boy with flaming red hair. Hadn't George mentioned that he knew a squire named Alan in the palace? Despite her resolve to become more relaxed, duty came before wishes, and George had directed her to give that note to Alan.  
  
"Well," Audrie sighed, "I suppose I could go. Don't expect me to be good company though."  
  
Shaking her head at the insistence of nobles, Audrie fetched both her black scarf, though it was slightly out of place with her canary yellow dress, along with the letter George had given her.  
  
No one blinked an eye at Audrie's choice of scarves as she left with the group of men, though she knew that they were all silently thinking her insane. Indeed once she was outside the palace she noticed Gary looking at Alan knowingly, as though he had said Audrie would be strange even before they had met.  
  
"Yellow and black?" Raoul at last called attention to her pairing of colors.  
  
"I suppose I look like a bumble bee, but you know, I don't really care."  
  
The sudden humor from Audrie surprised a laugh from even the squire, Alan. She gave them all a mischievous grin as they all regarded her with somewhat confused smiles.  
  
"What, you thought me to be entirely dull? Surely you know that anyone with as sharp a tongue as mine cannot be stupid." At least, that's what her father had always told her, before she left.  
  
"I know. It's just that you were so, well, rude, I figured you to be cold." Raoul cocked his head in question, "What caused the change?"  
  
"It's too early."  
  
"But it's practically ten o' clock!" Alan smiled incredulously. "I know." Audrie grinned, "I'm used to waking up at noon. The whole beauty sleep thing. That and spoons on the eyes. Does wonders for an old crone like me."  
  
"Crone?" Jon smiled, apparently, much to Audrie's dismay, having recovered from Delia rather quickly.  
  
"Oh yes, I'm far past my time. Old hag I am. So sad, eighteen and still unmarried. Next thing you know I'll be all wrinkled, knitting all day and taking oatmeal baths."  
  
"Eighteen? That's young." Gary covered a broad grin with his hand, obviously finding this conversation hilarious.  
  
"Didn't you know?" Audrie too was trying to keep serious, "These days, with girls being married off at six years old, anyone above twelve is past their prime. Such a sad thing. You're past your prime as well. But you should try spoons too. They would work wonders on those dark circles under your eyes. Of course," She looked pointedly at Jon, "I'm sure you already do."  
  
Jon turned slightly pink, indicating that she was correct in her assumption. "I would never."  
  
"I was only joking, you know." Audrie grinned at Jon's embarrassment, thoroughly enjoying having made the prince turn such a lovely shade of red.  
  
All the time the group had been joking over early engagements and old ladies, they had wandered over to a cold stone building that was rather far off from the actual palace. Stopping to look at it, Audrie noticed a slightly nervous look on everyone else's faces.  
  
"What is that place?" Audrie turned to look at the building, that reminded her somewhat of a mausoleum.  
  
"The Chamber." Gary's tone was no longer one of joking, and instead became one of awe, and, Audrie sensed, one of fear.  
  
"Chamber. Oh yes, very specific." Audrie tried to keep her voice light, in hopes that the others too would lighten up.  
  
"It's were we- the knights- take our ordeal. The chamber...It knows." Jon nodded, trying to indicate that they should leave.  
  
Audrie took his hint, though she was still interested in the chamber. But from what Jon had said, about the chamber knowing, she had a small inkling of just what the chamber was about. Something terrible, that caused fear in everyone. Just what, she didn't know.  
  
The instant the group left the chamber, everyone returned to their normal coloring, rather than the pale shades they had been instants before. Unfortunately, it was at that instant that Audrie spotted something that turned her paler than a white rose.  
  
"Roger, what a pleasure to see you." Audrie nodded gracefully, rather than try to curtsey.  
  
"Yes, just what I was thinking." Roger's tone was one of light interest, rather than the icy one Audrie had been expected. "If I could speak to you for a moment?"  
  
A pit sunk in Audrie's stomach as she nodded her head and walked off with Roger, deserting her group momentarily.  
  
"What did you wish to speak of?" Audrie, despite her fervent wishes, was back in her formal speech, as though she were some loon acting like the swan it could never be.  
  
"Perhaps you saw the large swarm of people surrounding the doors of the dining hall this morning? I don't suppose you managed to look at what they were gawking at?"  
  
The pit in Audrie's stomach grew larger. She knew exactly what he was talking about.  
  
"The thing they were so interested in was, unfortunately, a particular garment of mine that I would prefer not to be seen by the public."  
  
Audrie hated the way Roger was beating around the bush when he thought she knew exactly what he was talking about, and she did.  
  
"Yes, I was just wondering if you happened to know anything about how the garment came to be there."  
  
"My lord," Audrie smiled prettily, "I have no idea what garment you speak of, let alone how it appeared on some door. I'm terribly sorry though."  
  
"Oh, I think you know. And I'd appreciate it if you kept away from my loincloths from now on, though I have no clue how you got to them. Take this as a warning, Lady Audrelinia." After a stiff nod, Roger walked off to the gardens, leaving Audrie to return to the others, who had been patiently waiting for her to finish.  
  
"What had that been all about?" A tense voice brought Audrie's attention back to the real world. Alan was looking slightly angry, though for a reason Audrie couldn't even fathom.  
  
"Oh, nothing important. Just a brief little chat on -" Audrie was about to say 'his loincloths,' before she caught herself. "Just nothing. Really." Smiling brightly, she switched the conversation over to painfully dull ladies who had nothing more than a few butterflies fluttering about in their heads.  
  
Not long after talking to Roger did Audrie decide she needed some time to think about the duke and his odious manner, and excused herself by way of saying she was quite tired from walking so much.  
  
Rather than heading to her rooms as she had said she would, Audrie headed to the gardens, once more showering her little horseweed with both water and affection, chattering away about everything from utterly useless ladylike talents such as how to hold a fork (as explained by Lady Selia) to her friends and, though now long gone, her family.  
  
"I hate to say this," Audrie concluded, "but you're my only confident. I know that a plant like you can't talk back, which is the nicest thing in the world for me. Plus, you're not biased and don't expect me to be extremely polite. I do believe I'll have to repot you and take you home with me when I leave. Wouldn't that be funny?"  
  
The crunching of dead leaves behind her called Audrie's attention to her surroundings. "Who's there?" Turning around she saw that the squire, Alan, had been watching her. "How long have you been here?"  
  
"Just came. I was wondering," Alan stared at Audrie with unblinking violet eyes, "how you felt about the duke."  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"You wouldn't tell us what you were talking about back there. Curiosity got the better of me, so I came to ask you once more: what were you talking about with him?"  
  
"You dislike the duke don't you?"  
  
An expression of surprise flashed across the squire's face. "Yes, though I can't entirely say why. How did you know?"  
  
"I'd like to think I can read expressions well. You seemed angry at him earlier. It's nice to know someone dislikes him as much as I."  
  
"You mean you don't admire him, adore him, fawn over him, the way nearly everyone else does?" Alan folded his (AN: Audrie thinks Alan to be a him. Should I use him or her in this context?) arms across his chest.  
  
"No. If anything, I loathe him. He's snotty, though he hides it well. Oh, by the way," Audrie only now handed the letter from George to the squire, "this is from George. Told me to give it to you." Winking at Alan, Audrie walked off, this time indeed heading back to her rooms. 


	9. Conversation Starters

Disclaimer: sigh...Random fact of the day: I own about three things: Audrie, plot, and a whole bunch of pocket lint. Anyone want the lint? I'll sell it really cheap! Anyway, anything else you recognize is probably Tamora Pierce's, unless it's Billy Bob Joe's.  
  
Author's Notes: Thanks to those who reviewed, including: Hyperchick 88, Keita, Hannirose, Forget-me-not (a loyal reviewer! Yay!), 'The Critic,' Balloonfuzz, Tiriana, and Eve of Mirkwood. (I'm trying to keep these short) Filler chapter! Extreme filler chapter! The first part is about Audrie and Selia. Don't ask, 'cause I'm not sure. If this is an extremely boring chapter, I'm really sorry, I'm just in a slight writers block right now.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
The next morning, Audrie groaned as she woke to find herself in the familiar surroundings of a noble's room. As if she hadn't had enough trouble already, Audrie knew she would have to deal with Roger's growing suspicions, though she couldn't figure out how he had guessed, along with the squire's wanting to know how she knew George, among other things, and some of the most boring noblewomen thinking her someone to converse with about how to call attention to themselves. Life was hard enough without troubles like this.  
  
Indeed, Audrie had barely managed to add on the attachments of light brown hair before someone tapped on her door. Opening the door a crack, Audrie found it to be Selia.  
  
"Oh my! What happened to your hair? It looks to be a dreadful mess!" Of course. Selia's first worry would always be appearances.  
  
Muttering under her breath, Audrie opened to door entirely and motioned for Selia to enter. "Certainly there's something else you want to know, other than why my hair looks as though a ferret nested in it?"  
  
"Oh, of course, of course, but first things first. You should look decent before opening your door. What if it had been Prince Jonathan?"  
  
"Why would he have been bothering me? He has no interest in me, and the feeling is mutual. Please, just tell me what you want."  
  
Instead, Selia went about ordering Sarri to help with Audrie's hair and clothes. The two went about happily playing with Audrie's hair, putting it up in several different hairstyles while Audrie sulked silently. Once they were done with Audrie's hair, now piled atop her head in a mass of ringlets, they went on to try different dresses on her as though she were a doll.  
  
"Do you have some reason for this? If you don't, you can Just. Get. Out." Audrie nearly growled before she caught herself. Why were they so set upon having her look just perfect?  
  
"Just having fun." Selia smiled sweetly, only to hesitate and look sad. "Truly, I need your help."  
  
"Thank you finally getting on with it." Audrie commented sarcastically, "I do believe I got wrinkles while waiting."  
  
"Wrinkles?! Oh dear, I have a solution for just that thing. Here, let me go get it." Selia made as though to leave the room.  
  
"I was joking," Audrie smacked her forehead with her palm. "Don't you know dry wit when you hear it?"  
  
"Jokes are supposed to be led up to. You know, with a punch line and all that. I've never heard such arbitrary humor before. It's rather odd."  
  
"If you've never heard dry wit before, that's sad. A person can't be relaxed without a good bit of sarcasm and humor. What's life without them?"  
  
"Boring." Selia's demeanor suddenly changed from perky and happy to rather dark. "Life without humor is boring. I should know."  
  
"What do you mean? You've never seemed bored to me. The Goddess knows you find your conversation interesting enough."  
  
"That's just it, I don't. Whenever pressed to start a conversation, I think up so many things that I would like to say, yet as soon as I start talking, some boring topic, like forks, pops out instead. I don't know how everyone else manages to find them interesting."  
  
"So? Why are you coming to me?"  
  
"I've seen the way you seem so...at home whenever you talk to someone. You suggested to me that if I wanted to get the Prince's attention I should start interesting conversation, but I always end up back at manners, or dancing, or clothes. Yet at the same time I see you walking with some of the most talented men here, all the while challenging their views, thinking up comments that make even the most serious laugh. I don't understand what I've done to become so boring."  
  
"Try six years at a convent. That's probably what you've done."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Let's be honest, when you went to the convent, did you ever talk about anything other than manners, dancing, or clothes?"  
  
"The Prince."  
  
"Wow. Wide variety there."  
  
"Really?" "I was being sarcastic. The truth is, the reason why you can't say anything else is probably because you're so used to saying nothing else. If you want to become interesting, you've got to break that habit."  
  
"So how do I do that?"  
  
"Write up a list of things you want to say during a conversation. They can be topics, whether it's political discrepancies or even who they think is most likely to become important, but it's best to pick something that can be debated over, preferably leaning more towards the serious side. Or, it can be random comments you want to insert into the conversation, usually more humorous, such as, 'Have you ever considered taking up yodeling?'. The arbitrariness of these comments should surprise a laugh out of at least one person."  
  
"Will that help?"  
  
"Yes, but it won't solve your problem entirely. Once you become more in habit of thinking up thought provoking topics and comments, you shouldn't use a list. I'm not even sure this will work. It's something that should just come natural, really."  
  
"Oh." Selia's voice fell. "I was just hoping..."  
  
"Stop being so submissive. Just stop. That's one step to being less boring."  
  
"But...Won't men think that I'm rude, or worse yet, unfeminine?"  
  
"What gave you the impression that people think me polite, or, worse yet, feminine? I shudder at the very thought. If you want to be those, stick to what you are now."  
  
"Rude but interesting or polite but boring?"  
  
"Beyond all hell." Muttered Audrie.  
  
"What did you say?"  
  
"Nothing that you would care to know."  
  
"Oh really? And what makes you so suddenly think yourself to be as high as to know what I would and would not like to know?!"  
  
"So you have a temper. Amazing, wouldn't have guessed."  
  
"Oh, oh my, I'm so sorry to have snapped!" Selia began apologizing to the point of nearly prostrating herself.  
  
"Would you stop that? I was approving, not vice versa." "Hmm? Oh."  
  
"Now are you going to continue babbling or can I go to breakfast? I'm hungry."  
  
"Will you help me?"  
  
"Are you that weak? Try it on your own first. If you're dying like a fish out of water, flopping around indecently, Goddess forbid, I'll go ahead and throw you back in and help out."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Never mind."  
  
Suddenly Selia laughed. After receiving a strange look from Audrie, the two went out together to the dining room. Unfortunately, there it was proved once more that the seating arranger was out to get Audrie. It was no longer paranoia.  
  
She had been placed next to Selia, to dig her out once she was six feet under, along with a certain Duke Roger, Jonathan and Delia, both of whom seemed to be much happier, proving to Audrie that the fight had ended. Audrie was tempted to simply slam her head against the table and then leave. Unfortunately, Roger didn't seem to want to let her.  
  
"Ah, Lady Audrelinia. You slept well, I presume?" Roger smiled thinly.  
  
"Judging from the circles under your eyes, much better than you." This time, Audrie didn't bother covering her lack of manners and sharp tongue.  
  
"And judging from your general appearance, you indeed slept well...With a bird in your hair." It seemed Roger was rather prepared for her spoken barbs.  
  
"So, erm..." Selia stepped in with hopes of keeping the minor insults to just that: minor.  
  
"Ah, yes, Lady Selia." Jonathan seemed as pleased to see Selia as he would to see a whale in the main hall. "A pleasure, truly."  
  
"Yes, truly." Agreed Delia wryly.  
  
"So, what's your opinion on the latest...dance?"  
  
Audrie cut in with a sharp cough that soon turned into prolonged hacking as Selia searched urgently for a more interesting topic.  
  
"Are you alright?" Jonathan asked, though the look in his eyes was more one of gratefulness that Selia had been delayed than one of concern.  
  
"Of course, of course." Audrie couldn't cough for forever. Either Selia thought of a topic or Audrie gave up on the noble.  
  
"Personally, I think your father was a fool to allow the Tusaine War to occur." Selia finally began, much to the surprise of the others.  
  
Most could only stare, until finally Jonathan killed the silence. "And why do you think that?"  
  
"If he had kept better control of his borders, it never would have happened. Instead, he was lax on border patrols and showed weakness to his enemies, letting them seep in and start a war that lost many lives."  
  
A tiny smile crept onto Audrie's face. So the girl had more than just dust in her head after all. "I agree entirely. What do you think, Roger?" The challenge was irresistible.  
  
"A lie in its entirety. No one could have prevented such an inevitable war."  
  
The debate lasted for the rest of the meal, the floor passing from person to person, though there was a particular tone of competitiveness in both Audrie and Roger's voices. In the end, however, much to Audrie's disappointment, those siding against her, Roger and Delia included, won the debate. At the end of dinner, Audrie rejoined with Selia as they left.  
  
"Good enough," Audrie admitted, "I wasn't sure it was physically possible for you to be so intelligent."  
  
"I can be, I just often forget to."  
  
Audrie snorted. "Right, right. Either way, work on it. Perhaps you're not hopeless after all." With that, Audrie left.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Throughout the rest of the day, Audrie successfully managed to avoid both Duke Roger and Squire Alan, mostly through luck. Afternoon and evening were spent rather dully, with only a small interlude of Audrie watering her horseweed once more. Unfortunately, nothing of particular interest occurred during the interlude, nor dinner. Only once Audrie was in her room did anything beyond the norm occur.  
  
Upon opening her door, she saw a smiling figure sitting on her bed, and this time it wasn't Jered. Instead, it was Duke Roger, grinning pleasantly at Audrie's surprise.  
  
"You're not the only one who appears in the most mysterious of places."  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" Audrie snapped.  
  
"Only what you think it does. Now, on the subject of my loincloths."  
  
"I have no interest in your loincloths, despite their rather odd colors."  
  
"Despite their rather odd colors?"  
  
"Personally, I never considered pink to suit you."  
  
"And how did you know my loincloths were pink?"  
  
"So they were? I was guessing." And it was true, she hadn't known. Actually, it was rather disturbing that Roger wore pink loincloths.  
  
"Of course. But you know why I'm here."  
  
"Actually, I don't." This time it was a lie, not that Audrie would tell Roger that. "And I would prefer it if you would tell me some other time, when I'm not preparing for bed."  
  
"You go to bed so early?"  
  
"Far earlier than you, obviously."  
  
At that instant there was a slight tapping sound from one of the walls. The tapping, coincidentally, seemed to come directly from a painting of King Roald. Nearly cursing, Audrie began to talk far more loudly in hopes that the person within the passage would guess that now was not a proper time to just enter.  
  
"So. I'm. Kind. Of. Busy. Right. Now. Would. You. Mind. Leaving?" Audrie's sudden change in manner and the strange tapping on the wall told Roger there was something in the passage.  
  
"Of course. I never meant to bother you."  
  
With a sickening smile, Roger departed with sever gravity, allowing Audrie to breath a sigh of relief. She had just been about to let whoever was in the passage in when it occurred to her that Roger had left rather eagerly. Too eagerly, if anything.  
  
Opening her door, Audrie found herself staring face to face with Roger, who only nodded and strode off down the hall. Once more that man had proven himself to be untrustworthy.  
  
Audrie entered her room again, this time to find Jered standing by the wall.  
  
"What was that all about?" He beamed at her.  
  
"Nothing you want to know." Audrie groaned. "I'm up to my waist in idiotic blunderers and suspicious lords." "I thought we gave you this deal in hopes that you wouldn't do such things." Jered frowned at her.  
  
"I'm trying. It's far more challenging than I thought. I've nearly gone insane giving off conversation advice and avoiding people at the same time. I swear, there's someone out to kill me, what with the way I keep running into the most annoying people at the most inconvenient timing. I think it's the seating arranger, but I can't quite be sure."  
  
Nodding sympathetically, Jered threw an arm around Audrie's shoulders. "Poor soul, I feel so sorry for you."  
  
"Right." Audrie shrugged off her friends arm and false understanding. "Sure you do."  
  
"Of course!" Jered insisted, "Everyone at the Dancing Dove feels bad for you, what with all you're going through."  
  
"Uh huh. What are you here for, anyways?"  
  
"To check up on your sanity. The thing's nearly all gone."  
  
"Seriously."  
  
"Seriously? I'm here just to talk to you. I wouldn't want you going all soft and noble on us. It's my duty to make sure you're all well."  
  
"And to pick up what I stole on Tuesday, am I right?" Audrie showed him to the reasonable stash in her closet.  
  
"Yup. And to make sure you don't go returning everything. We'll change what we don't want into coins and give you your fair share. Anything in particular you want to keep?"  
  
"Oh, sure," Audrie sighed, "I'll go ahead and keep this pin."  
  
"A pin?" Jered raised an eyebrow. "I never thought you to be one to keep a pin."  
  
"For a friend, I suppose. Not of much interest to me."  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Is that all?"  
  
"Not much else. Care for a drink?" Jered took out a flask of liquor and pulled out the cork.  
  
"More than you could know. The strongest thing they give you here is wine. Watered down wine at that."Audrie took the flask from Jered. "Poor soul."  
  
"Right." Taking a deep gulp of the drink, Audrie ignored Jered's comments.  
  
The two talked like old friends, and chatted late into the night. By the time Jered finally left, Audrie had gotten most of her worries off her chest, though she 'failed' to mention anything about Roger. While she had drank a decent amount, Audrie knew that her tolerance level was such that she wouldn't get a hangover the next day, and thus flopped in bed with few worries.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
The next day Audrie woke up with, sure enough, almost no headache, only a lingering sense of pain at staring at bright light. Assuming she stayed inside for the first few hours of the day, Audrie deemed that she would be fine.  
  
At breakfast little to nothing happened. Selia finally managed to bring up interesting subjects, and even make a few humorous comments, though it was clear that each time she did so she was looking intently at an index card in her palm.  
  
Audrie took her sufferable seating arrangements to mean that the rest of the day would be relatively pleasant, and left the dining hall with a light heart. Once she was outside the hall, Raoul came to greet her.  
  
"Good afternoon." Audrie nodded an acknowledgment of the tall night.  
  
"Lady Audrelinia." Raoul bowed.  
  
"Don't do that," Audrie whispered in his ear as she took him by the elbow and steered him out of the room.  
  
"Don't do what?" Raoul didn't bother to keep his voice down nearly as much.  
  
"Bow. If you bow, I have to curtsey in reply."  
  
"So?"  
  
"I can't curtsey!" Audrie whispered fervently.  
  
"Ah. Care to go outside?"  
  
"Sure." Audrie had forgotten her minor hangover, but soon remembered as she stepped outside, the sudden bright light giving her a sudden headache. Rubbing her temples, she ignore Raoul's concerned look.  
  
"Is something wrong?" "Hm? Oh, no, of course not."  
  
"Well, then..." Raoul started to look around nervously.  
  
"Yes? What do you want?"  
  
"I want to know why you dislike Roger so much."  
  
"Why wouldn't I? He's rude, stuck up, and has the intelligence of a sewing pin, no offense to the pin."  
  
"Roger's one of the most intelligent men in the Realm!" Raoul protested, instantly making Audrie realize the mistake she had made when she so blatantly insulted Roger.  
  
"Never mind. Is that all you wanted to know?'  
  
"No, I'm curious. What do you know about the Ace of Spades? You know, that thief I mentioned?"  
  
A lump about the size of a pumpernickel (AN: How big is pumpernickel? I just wanted to use the word, and it felt appropriate here) formed in Audrie's stomach. "What gives you the impression that I know anything?"  
  
"I think you know. You seemed rather... knowledgeable when I spoke to you about it. I want to know more about the thief. And besides, Roger's taken grave interest in you."  
  
"But Roger wasn't stolen from that night! The only thing he lost was a pair of loincloths!"  
  
"How did you know that?"  
  
"Is there anyone who didn't? I thought it would have been around the entire court by now!"  
  
"It has been, I'm sure, yet why did you mention it?"  
  
"Are you, Sir Raoul, accusing me of being a thief?!" Audrie glared at him, though at the same time she realized that what he was accusing her of was true.  
  
"No, I didn't mean that..."  
  
"Then what did you mean? That I cannot mention an occurrence that was obviously well-known and not be suspected for it? I don't take well to accusations, My Lord." Audrie finished the last two words with a touch of venom.  
  
Audrie stomped off before Raoul could even reply to her last comment. Upon entering her rooms, she began ranting, all the while giving a glare that could turn anything to ice to no one in particular. Unfortunately, Sarri walked in to receive a full blast of Audrie's icy glare. The servant's obvious terror almost made Audrie soften a bit.  
  
"Is something wrong, my lady?" Sarri began massaging the older girl's shoulders.  
  
"How dare he accuse me of stealing? Here I go and bother to be kind to that...noble! When I could just as well ignore him, and then he goes and accuses me of stealing!"  
  
"But...Didn't you?"  
  
Audrie froze in her tracks. "Yes, but that's not the point. The point is, here I thought I could trust- trust!- a noble, and the noble goes and accuses me of theft! It's not the fact that it's the truth that bothers me, it's the concept of it all!"  
  
From Sarri's look, she obviously didn't agree but wouldn't risk saying so. Upon Audrie pulling out her own flask of wine, this time not watered down, Sarri retreated out of the room to the servants' hall.  
  
As Audrie took a swig of her wine, her only comment was, "Drink to celebrate, drink to grieve."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ 


	10. A Visit Home

Disclaimer: Do I have to? Ok, I don't own anything beyond the rotting remains of old furniture. Actually, I don't even own that, it's my parents. Never mind then.  
  
Author's Notes: Ten reviews! Yay! Here are the readers who were so kind as to review: Rhapsody07, 'Smiley of Queenscove', 'The Critic,' 'LittleMissMe,' 'Hannirose,' Forget-me-not,' LadyOfWater, Anastazia Silverwind, Nikita Lady of the Rogue, Keita, and hyperchick88. Thank you! Big announcement! Read! Read! : Multiple people have questioned whether I will be pairing Audrie with anyone, and the trouble was, I intended to indeed pair her with someone, but I couldn't decide who. So, to simplify my life ten times and get reader involvement, I'm holding a competition. I know I'm announcing it early, but the one-hundredth reviewer gets to choose who Audrie gets paired up with, or if she walks off still single. If it's really strange (like Audrie and Roger), then I'll write an alternate ending for the other readers according to most popular request. Sorry for such a long Author's Notes, but it's important to read this one!  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Audrie awoke to see yet another surprise person standing in her room. As if she hadn't had enough random visitors already! "Does anyone respect my privacy?!" Audrie demanded. Sitting up, she glared at the unexpected visitor, only to realize that her hair was black, straight and short, the exact opposite of her 'normal' appearance these days.  
  
"I-I'm sorry, did I get the wrong room?" The red-headed squire stuttered, apparently quite nervous. "I was looking for Lady Audrelinia."  
  
"And you found her," Audrie grumbled. At seeing Alan's surprised expression, Audrie futher explained, "You expected me to look the way I always do? What if someone recognized me from on the streets? My trade is slight of hand and disguise mastery. No," Audrie shook her head, "Even at the Dancing Dove I wear a disguise. The only time I'm truly who I look to be is while stealing. Then I wear my regular outfit, which I find far more comfortable than any corset, mind you. I do so miss my combat boots." It took Audrie a minute to realize she was babbling. "Goddess protect me, I'm turning into a court lady, aren't I?"  
  
The comment made Alan laugh. "No, you would giggle far more if you were turning into a court lady. Bat those eyes a bit more too, and complement men constantly and you'd be perfect."  
  
"How very true. I've seen some of them. That Delia makes me sick to my stomach." Audrie pulled a face and moved so that she was sitting on the edge of the bed, facing Alan.  
  
"Oh," Alan's face darkened, "I don't care much for her either."  
  
"You're one of the few. You and that Alex. He's strange too."  
  
"Strange? What's that supposed to mean?" Alan's expression mixed annoyance and confusion together.  
  
"Be reasonable," Audrie shrugged, "Every single man in court swoons over that lady. Jon and who knows who else is sleeping with her. Now I know you haven't read any love letters to her but-"  
  
"And you have?!"  
  
"I make my way around. You think I only steal on the nights I go out? Not me, I have fun when I thieve. I was in both Raoul and Gary's rooms. You should have seen the bad poetry they write. My job in those cases is to make it worse, but with some of Gary's letters that challenged even me!"  
  
"You were the one who stuck vulgar comments into Gary's letters?!" Alan's incredulous look made Audrie laugh.  
  
"The one and only." Audrie smirked, "Then again, they would have been bad enough without my help."  
  
"How very true. Occasionally he reads them aloud to us to ask our opinions on them. Most of the time it's hard to keep a straight face."  
  
"Do you see what I'm saying? It's not like I'm actually hurting anyone with this project. No one even notices that half of the things I took are gone."  
  
"What do you mean?" Alan glanced at Audrie questioningly.  
  
"I only take the most meager of things. The thing is, I steal from so many people that I profit but the single person only loses an earbob or a watch, nothing that they'd miss."  
  
"But why did you agree to this in the first place? Do you enjoy putting up with nobles night and day?"  
  
"Enjoy? Enjoy?! Goddess help me, I cannot stand you nobles! Most of you are so... Arrogant, it drives me insane just to watch you chat away so blithely! I only took this cursed job because I didn't have much of a choice. It was either this or my ear was added to George's collection. I like my ears the way they are, thank you very much."  
  
"One thing I don't understand is why I've never seen you at the Dancing Dove. You seem as though you're relatively familiar with Corus."  
  
"Oh, I am, I am. I've seen you, and you've seen me, but you've never known it. Like I said, the only time I look like this is when I'm out at night. Speaking of which, I'd better fix my hair or people will start wondering." Audrie stood and moved over to the vanity mirror, and, sitting before it, began adding the brown-blond hair attachments she normally wore.  
  
"So that's how you do it. But how do you change your real hair?" "Like this," Audrie's hair shone and lightened to match the color of the attachments. At the same time, her eyes changed to the light blue they appeared to be in the day. "You have the gift!" The squire pulled out a necklace and held it firmly in her grasp. At the same time, a black cat with eyes the exact same color as the squire's trotted in.  
  
"Nothing big. I can't even heal bruises. Just lesser illusions. I can't even affect anything but myself. I almost wish I had a larger gift, but then again, it may have become a burden." Audrie sighed.  
  
"Magic can save lives," Alan's eye's turned slightly cold. "But it can also kill them."  
  
"I suppose. How did we even get onto the subject of magic, anyway?"  
  
"Your hair. How you change it so."  
  
"Oh. Yes. Well, either way," Audrie sighed, "I have to put on my cursed corset and dress, so if you don't mind..."  
  
"Sorry," Alan made to leave before turning around, "I suppose you miss the Dancing Dove."  
  
"Somewhat, yes." Audrie sighed. "Actually, I miss it a lot. More than I thought I would. I guess I just became so used to the informal, relaxed lifestyle of sleeping and working in the day, drinking at night at the bar and occasionally going out at night. It's so different here."  
  
"Maybe with Jon's permission- he's my knight master after all- I could take you into town. Give you a break from all of the formality."  
  
"If you could, I would be eternally grateful. Anything to keep me from going insane due to over-curtsying. That will drive me to the edge, I know it."  
  
Alan laughed before opening the door and leaving.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Breakfast was, as usual, full of boring old knights and prim ladies. This time Audrie had been directed to sit next to the oldest and stiffest bores in the entire realm, with Selia several table away chatting happily with another lady.  
  
After Audrie nearly died from lack of intelligent conversation, breakfast ended and Audrie left the dining hall, only to find Raoul waiting for her once more. An icy glare from Audrie cut him off before he even started.  
  
"If you have anything to say to me, you can say it through someone else. Mind you, I won't listen to that person either, but I most certainly won't listen to you. I don't need to be around people who accuse me left and right of the most outrageous things." Silently, Audrie knew she was being unreasonable, but a tiny, malicious part of her wanted him to know that she was angry and insulted by the concept that he would accuse her of thievery, even if she was a thief.  
  
"Listen I just-" Raoul began, before Audrie cut him off once more.  
  
"I told you, I don't want to hear it. Frankly, I almost considered you a friend. Guess I was wrong there. Just shows me what happens when you decide to be honest to a person." Audrie glared at him once more before stalking off in the middle of a conversation for the second time.  
  
Nearly stomping down the halls, Audrie slammed into a young page who was walking to his next class. "Excuse me!" She glared at the boy and was about to continue stomping on, when she realized it was the same boy she had seen knife fighting.  
  
"Well if it isn't the traitor!" Audrie was in no mood to talk to someone who had lied to her, but the hurt look on the boy's face almost made her regret her words. Almost. "Don't even bother crying in hopes of making me feel bad. I honestly don't care."  
  
"As if I would cry!" The boy looked at Audrie indignantly.  
  
"Apparently you've still got those awful ideals stuck in your head, despite my attempts to get rid of them!"  
  
"They're not ideals. And I don't even know you!" The young page began to tear up, much to Audrie's guilt and disgust at the same time. "Stop that. It's just useless to cry. Go and get yourself into some fight or something, like a normal page."  
  
"I was always told to use battle as a last resort."  
  
"There go your ideals again," Audrie snorted, "Who told you that?"  
  
"That thief I mentioned to you, the Ace of Spades."  
  
"I never said-"  
  
Audrie almost finished the sentence before sighting Alan walking down the hall. The squire was grinning at Audrie, who was grateful for the excuse to cut off her sentence.  
  
"Why hello, Squire Alan." Audrie nodded as gracefully as she could manage.  
  
"Hello, Lady Audrelinia." Alan began to bow before Audrie inched closer to him to promptly kick him in the shin.  
  
"Don't bow." Audrie muttered beneath her breath. "If you bow, then I have to, and if I fall, I'll take you down with me, at all costs."  
  
"Oh. Okay." Alan almost laughed. "Now that I think about it, it makes sense that you don't know how to curtsey."  
  
"But I'm not going to declare it to the world!" Audrie hissed beneath her breath. "And I'd appreciate it if you did either!"  
  
"Sorry," Alan, indeed, looked truly apologetic.  
  
"It's alright," Audrie glanced to the side and sighed. "Now, what is it you wanted to talk to me about? Or did you just come to bow so that I would have to curtsey?"  
  
"It's about your taking a break to go to town."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Well, I spoke to Jonathan about it..."  
  
"You didn't tell him, did you?" Fear took over Audrie. "Do you realize what could happen if he knew?"  
  
"I didn't tell him, so you don't have to go worrying!"  
  
"Oh. Sorry. I just, well..."  
  
"I think I understand. I have a similar situation. But Jon's a good person, I don't think he would turn on you." (AN: I'm defending Jon?! What on Earth am I doing? I hate him!)  
  
"Of course, of course. Then again, you're a noble. It's different to him to snitch on a noble than it is to snitch on a commoner."  
  
"You don't know that! You hardly even know him!"  
  
"Right, right," Audrie decided to drop the subject. "What did he say, anyway?"  
  
"Since he thinks you to be a lady," Alan began, before hesitating, "He thought you should have better protection than just me going with you.  
  
"So he won't let me go?" Rage almost took over Audrie, nearly causing her to lose her composure. "But he can't do that! I've suffered this place for nearly a week now! Who's he to think I need defense?!"  
  
"That's not what he said." Alan explained, "He said he'd prefer for you to also take along a knight. He said I should ask Raoul to go with us."  
  
"Raoul?" Audrie began searching for a ledge to jump off of in order to commit suicide. "As if he'd like to come." Audrie snorted, "Besides, it'll much harder for me to get around with him haunting me. I'd prefer him not to come."  
  
"That's funny, you two seemed to get along." Alan shrugged. "But Jon didn't suggest so much as insist. In fact, he already instructed Raoul to go with us. Sorry. I guess it will be a normal day in the market. I don't think we can even take you to the Dancing Dove. After all, a proper lady wouldn't go there."  
  
"Great," Audrie muttered, "I can't even go to there. I may as well go off and start acting all prissy, since that's the way I'll act once I'm insane."  
  
At that instant, Audrie realized that the young page from before was still there. Apparently he was just gazing at the lady and squire, quite mesmerized. He seemed to be regarding Audrie with a strange look in his eye.  
  
"Aren't you going to be late for class?" Audrie glanced sharply at the boy, who instantly scrambled back to life and ran for his next class. Audrie sighed and looked back to Alan. "Is that all? I can go, but I still have to be a lady?"  
  
"Well, yes. I'm really sorry, but he is my knight master after all. Without his permission, I couldn't go at all, which would mean you wouldn't be able to go."  
  
"Can't you tell him you're visiting George or something?"  
  
"And take you along with me? Jon would be scandalized at the thought that I brought a perfectly refined lady to the Dancing Dove to meet thieves and beggars. He would figure that you'd be traumatized by the experience."  
  
Audrie felt like slamming her head against the table. Did all noblemen think women to be so weak? Did all noblewomen conform to this belief? The concept made Audrie sick to her stomach. "So there's nothing you can do to change his mind and not make us take anyone else along?"  
  
"No. I honestly believe there's nothing I could do to convince him. Generally, when Jon decides something, he sticks to it."  
  
"Great, just great. Thanks anyways. I guess I'll feign illness from eating bad food or obtain a sudden dislike for large amounts of sunshine. That should get me out of having to go and obsess over the quality of the fabric of the most expensive dresses." Audrie sighed and shook her head. The things she had to do to escape such fates.  
  
Alan suddenly remembered that he had to finish some paperwork in the library, and headed off in that direction. Audrie, in the meanwhile, returned to her room until lunch, and after that she spent her time lounging about in the garden avoiding any lady coming to admire the flowers. After watering the single weed in the garden that had changed from nearly dying of thirst and about two inches tall to now thick with thorns, alive and well, and had grown several inches in the near week that Audrie had been caring for it.  
  
Dinner passed, amazingly, uneventfully, despite Audrie's attempts to liven her day by secretly tossing her mashed potatoes at the king with her spoon. Unfortunately, her attempts failed due to the fact that Roger was at her table to loom over her, making sure she ate every bite of her food and slipped none of it under the table.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Overnight it rained, leaving a thick mist on the ground and preventing Audrie from using the excuse of too much sunlight for a reason to forget the trip to Corus. And she appeared perfectly healthy, despite her attempts to appear sick, so she was forced to lug herself out of bed at the crack of dawn to ready herself and pack the 'necessities' any normal lady would require for such a trip, such as ten gallons of perfume and five day's supply of food, in case, of course, they got lost between the palace and the stable. In fact she was packing her waitress' dress and red hair attachment, along with her signature black scarf and cards. In the second before Alan knocked on her door Audrie shoved in her favorite heavily soled black boots.  
  
"Ready?" Alan asked from the doorway as Audrie strived to close her bags.  
  
"About as ready as a finch is a flamingo." Audrie muttered in reply, and in desperation slammed her foot into the bag to squish everything in and then sat on it.  
  
"Do you want a few more minutes?"  
  
"Try a few days, to cram everything in here and then think up an excuse to unpack it all." At last the things within the bag were crammed enough that Audrie could barely tie the strings around them, and, with the help of Alan, Audrie dragged it out the door and off to the stables to attach to her poor horse.  
  
"Obviously the thing will be lame after this trip." Audrie looked at Alan and tried to force a grin.  
  
"No, our horses are more fit than that. He'll just have terrible back pains."  
  
"As would any normal beast that tried to carry a load this size." Audrie massaged her shoulders, aching due to the burden now tied to the horse.  
  
"What did you put in there that weighed so much?"  
  
"Oh, not much. Just a few things here and there, in case of emergency," Audrie lied through her teeth. Better for Alan not to know that Audrie had plans to go against Jon's wishes.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
The trip to the city was a long and rather sullen one. Audrie still refused to speak to Raoul, who constantly attempted to talk to her through Alan. Alan, quite reasonably, enjoyed being the intermediary about as much as a cat enjoys water. Thus everyone sulked wordlessly throughout the entire trip, for some reason or another. Once they were at Corus, Audrie livened up slightly. She bothered to look up, and even smiled warmly when she spotted a friend of hers pickpocketing a snobbish old lady. Better this than nothing, Audrie resolved.  
  
"I think we should go ahead and stable our horses," Audrie suggested, "At the- where do you think we could stable them? An inn nearby would be convenient enough."  
  
Alan raised an eyebrow at Audrie. "But we won't be staying the night."  
  
"Of course not. Just because you stable horses at an inn doesn't mean you intend to stay there for the night. Where else would we stable them but at an inn?" Audrie shook off Alan's suspicion with a shrug.  
  
"I suppose she's right." Raoul nodded to Alan. "We might as well stable the horses at the Dancing Dove. Goddess knows her horse needs a break from all of her luggage. What did you bring, rocks?"  
  
"You found me out," Audrie replied with a tart tone. "We may as well get going." Turning her horse away from Raoul with an cold aloofness, Audrie waited for the others to move ahead of her and show her the way to the inn that she already knew every route to by heart.  
  
Alan just glanced at Audrie before nudging his horse forward, with Raoul following behind. The group arrived at the back of the Dancing Dove in an attempt not to draw too much attention to the fact they had a noble lady traveling with them.  
  
A stable hand came up to lead their horses, and gave Audrie a wary look, before just shaking his head. The stable hand took the horses to the crossties, where Raoul and Alan insisted upon taking care of their own horses, merely because they suspected the stable hand of stealing horses with careless owners. Audrie, on the other hand, gladly gave the duty of grooming her horse, lathered with sweat, to the stable hand.  
  
Knight and squire both worked hard to make sure their horses were clean and could be well rested for the journey home, spending more than enough time making sure to attempt to erase any sweat marks. In the time they were so consumed by their work, they didn't notice that Audrie was long gone, having left the stable the instant she handed the reins to the stable worker.  
  
Indeed, Audrie had worked the morning mists to her advantage, sneaking away as soon as possible. She figured Raoul would think she had gone and lost herself in the fog, but Alan would think otherwise, yet hopefully wouldn't mention it. Perhaps they would even forget her and wander the town for the day.  
  
As Audrie crawled into George's rooms through one of the many passageways, Audrie wondered how she would meet up with them, and what sort of excuse she could concoct in order to explain it all. Dismissing the thought for later, Audrie fell out of the passageway and into George's closet, apparently open, with George sifting around for a shirt.  
  
"Surprise." Audrie grinned at the slightly amazed, slightly annoyed look on George's face. In Audrie's arms were her boots and dress, along with a pair of breeches and her scarf. Standing up, Audrie shook the dust from the passageway off her dress and walked past George into his rooms. "So."  
  
"So? Dare I ask what you're doing back?" George put a palm to his forehead.  
  
"Do you know what I endured while I was there? Goddess protect me, it was awful! I always sat next to the most boring people at meals, women chatting away blithely about the most handsome man in court and men talking about their favorite armory or who they slept with recently. It's a terror, George, really. Look at me, I'm talking like one of them too!" Audrie proceeded to begin slamming her head against the nearest wall. "Maybe that will force all of their cursed manners out of my head."After about three slams, Audrie allowed her gaze to rest on George.  
  
"So that's it? You got sick of having to put up with manners? If that's all, you had better come up with a better excuse."  
  
"Define 'better.'" Audrie stuck her tongue out. "If that was all, I wouldn't be here. Honestly, I just can't stand those people any more. And it's not like I'm giving up the project. Just visiting for the day. Really. I asked permission to come and everything. Now let me change into my waitress outfit and I'll work for the day and then be back at the palace before you can say the lines to the longest spell in the world ten times fast."  
  
"Audrie, the longest spell in the world can take up to a year to complete.  
  
"Yeah, well, still." Audrie began taking off her dress. "Turn away, turn away. I have modesty, you know."  
  
"I couldn't tell." George retorted dryly as he turned to continue looking through his closet.  
  
When he at last found one and turned around, Audrie was fully dressed in her black breeches under her red and white waitress dress, her thick soled charcoal black boots and scarf tied around her waist. The only thing she was missing was her flame red false hair, which she held in clumps in her hands. Indeed, she planted herself in front of the mirror and began fixing her hair only moments after George had put the shirt on.  
  
Audrie was at last tying her hair up with a leather thong when Jered knocked on the door and entered at the exact same time. The man was so surprised at seeing Audrie in George's rooms that he nearly fell backwards.  
  
"Audrie? What in the Gods' names are you doing here?"  
  
"Putting up my hair. That's not going to kill anyone, now is it?" Audrie glared at Jered, only to soften at seeing her friend's expression. "Oh, come off it. I'm just staying for the day. That palace was driving me insane. I had to escape for the day."  
  
"And they let you? I thought nobles considered women to be too weak to defend themselves." Jered snorted. "Then again, if they knew your real personality..."  
  
"What's that supposed to imply?"  
  
"That you have a nasty, nasty disposition when it comes to making enemies."  
  
As Audrie finished tying up her hair, Jered sat down in a soft leather chair. Audrie walked over to stand next to him and grill him for the latest best and worst steals. At that instant, Jered pulled her onto his lap, laughing. Audrie couldn't help but laugh as well, despite her annoyance at the gesture. Unfortunately, it was also at that instant that Gary and Raoul walked into the room.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
AN: Oh, I couldn't help but leave it at that spot. You see, if I didn't stop it there, this chapter would go on for forever and ever, since there's no other place to really stop it, especially since the next couple parts are particularly important. Be grateful I made it this long. It was either stop here, or stop at the end of the first day in this chapter (Saturday) which would have made it nearly half as long. Sorry for the unimportant, boring author's notes, but I really couldn't help it. Thanks again! 


	11. Raoul

Disclaimer: Two to the power of zero is about how much I own. That's right, one thing: Audrie. Other than that, zip, zero, nada . Oh, and my little sister, she's mine too, but she's up for sale if you want her.  
  
Author's notes: Thirteen reviews! I feel so loved! I'm glad that so many of you like my fic so far, and that several of you actually bothered to read my author's notes ('cause I know no one else does) and vote on who Audrie should be paired with. My only comment is to Assthorn, who said that Audrie came off as slightly out-of-character when she told Alan/na about herself. I partly agree, that wasn't my best writing and I suppose she did seem that way, but also, Audrie gave that letter to Alan/na from George, and guessed that George had already told Alan/na about her. Also, how else would Audrie explain that she grew short black hair overnight? I'm sorry you didn't like this chapter as much, but I hope you'll like this one more.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
'At that instant, Jered pulled her onto his lap, laughing. Audrie couldn't help but laugh as well, despite her annoyance at the gesture. Unfortunately, it was also at that instant that Gary and Raoul walked into the room.'  
  
Audrie jumped up upon seeing the two noblemen enter the room, shooting a quick glare at Alan, who seemed as surprised as Audrie was.  
  
While Alan was surprised at seeing Audrie there, Raoul didn't recognize her whatsoever, and the only bewilderment he felt was why the girl had glared at Alan. But instead of dwelling on why a serving girl was in George's rooms, sitting on another thief's lap and glaring at Alan for no reason at all, Raoul turned to George. "We need your help."  
  
"Oh?" George had a slight twinkle in his eye. "And why is that?"  
  
"We," Alan began, but paused for a second before continuing. "We were visiting the City for the day with a young noblewoman, but she walked off without us and I think she's lost." Alan's eyes flickered to Audrie. "We need you to help us find her."  
  
"A young noblewoman?" George's eyes too drifted over to Audrie. "Walked off without telling you? That's not good. She could be anywhere in the city. I'll send some men out to look for her, but I can't guarantee anything."  
  
"That's all we can ask for, isn't it?" Raoul nodded and sighed. "I suppose this is why Jon insisted I come along."  
  
Audrie began sneaking out the door, hoping to avoid any confrontation with Alan or George, both of whom seemed extremely annoyed that she had snuck away from being in Alan's company without permission. Unfortunately, Raoul noticed her attempts to escape.  
  
"Who are you?" Raoul caught her by the hand, which Audrie promptly snatched away. "Sara. I'm a waitress here. I was just having my break, so I'll be going now." Audrie nodded to George, locking her now golden-brown eyes with his.  
  
"I'll go send some men out to look for this noblewoman of yours. She should stick out in the streets. In the meanwhile, why don't you two have a drink to calm your nerves?" George smiled slightly at the annoyed look on Audrie's face.  
  
"I can't tell you how much I appreciate this." Raoul smiled weakly. "Jon would have my head if Lady Audrelinia was injured in any way while in Corus.  
  
The George, Raoul and Alan went to the part of the inn most visited: the tavern. Trailing behind them were Audrie and Jered.  
  
"Remind me to slip a poison in George's drink when I get the chance." Audrie hissed to Jered, "A very nasty poison that makes you turn purple with polka dots or something of the like." Jered simply smiled and shook his head.  
  
Upon the group entering the main room, the were many winks to Audrie, since many of the thieves knew her from both her waitress job and from her work as a thief. Several shot her questioning looks as to why she was back so soon, but Audrie explained to them with a shrug of her shoulders and a mouthing of 'later.'  
  
But Audrie didn't have much time to explain. While the bartender was glad she was back, Audrie was still sent to work first thing. She went around passing out drinks, taking orders from everyone, and having small clips of conversations with other thieves about what had happened while she was gone.  
  
Audrie leaned across the table to hand George his drink, being to lazy to simply walk around. Ale for Raoul, wine for George, simple water for Alan. She grinned and winked at George, who pretended not to notice.  
  
"You seem to be well-known here." Raoul noticed the warm welcome Audrie had received, and questioned it. "Everyone here seems to act as though you've been away for a long time, rather than just a lunch break."  
  
"I have been." Audrie thought up a lie on the spot. "I'm something of an apprentice-slash-assistant to the Ace of Spades," Audrie cringed. Couldn't she have thought of some other thief to name, other than herself? "And recently returned from Galla, where she sent me to dig up some information on a thief there."  
  
"You're the apprentice to the Ace of Spades?" Raoul raised an eyebrow. "I assume you've met her then? What does she look like?"  
  
"The Ace of Spades?" Audrie smiled weakly. "Never actually met her. She sends me notes to tell me what to do. Mostly she's on the road, but I think her solid home is somewhere down south near the Bazhir. She's somewhere in Serain right now, I'm pretty sure."  
  
"You've never met the person you're apprentice to?" Surprise registered on Raoul's face.  
  
"No, she keeps to herself most of the time." Audrie wished there was some way to move off of this subject. "I have to serve other people now." Audrie slipped off before Raoul could ask her anything more.  
  
Audrie grinned as she walked off away from the group, eyes sparkling with mischief. In her hand she held Raoul's loincloths, and she wanted to get revenge for his accusations. Not that he would know it was revenge.  
  
Audrie began to dance a jig from the Copper Isles, blatantly swinging Raoul's loincloths above her head for all to see. Several joined in with loud, rhythmic clapping until soon George was staring at Audrie with such round eyes that Raoul and Alan turned around to see what was going on.  
  
It took Raoul a moment to register what was going on, then he looked to George. "What's going on."  
  
"Umm..." George hesitated to explain. "Check your pants, Raoul."  
  
Raoul shot a look to George that clearly stated: "Are you insane?" But didn't get the opportunity to ask nor check before Audrie walked over to him, sweeping a deep bow with many flourishes of her hands, since she was still holding his loincloths.  
  
"I believe these are yours?" Audrie smiled and batted her eyes twice, mocking the court ladies, and daintily dropped the loincloths in front of Raoul. Then she went off to dance with the others, whirling around and laughing.  
  
Raoul turned red in the face upon seeing his loincloths tossed in front of him, and the realization that they had been publicly displayed didn't exactly please him. He turned to George. "Did you see what she just did?!"  
  
"She's done it before. Not quite to that extent, but..." George shook his head, but couldn't help grinning. "She's stolen from me before you know. She doesn't really care whether you're embarrassed by it all or not."  
  
"Could you show me a place where I could...Change?" Raoul turned slightly redder.  
  
"Head to my room. No one should be in there."  
  
By the time Raoul returned from putting his loincloths back on, the dancing and noise had quieted down to the point where everyone was sitting and laughing with 'Sara' and chatting away blithely.  
  
"She certainly wouldn't be able to dance at a ball," Lightfingers was grinning, "But the Ace of Spades is our own Mistress of Dance." Everyone quieted down when they spotted Raoul reentering the room, with the exception of 'Sara,' who was slumped in a chair laughing away with Jered. But she too stopped when she saw Raoul's grim expression.  
  
"Dare I ask why you did that?" Raoul towered over 'Sara,' imposing his full height.  
  
"I was bored. You were a source of great entertainment." She threw back her head over the back of the chair and laughed.  
  
"I was a source of entertainment? That's why you publicly disgraced me?"  
  
"You nobles worry too much about grace and disgraces, I should know."  
  
Audrie took a gulp of a tankard of ale on the table beside her and rose to stand in front of Raoul. He was still over a foot taller than her, and while she often exuded an air of confidence, it's hard to impress someone so much taller than she.  
  
"You don't know what's good for you, do you?" Audrie glared up at him. "Go bother your mother to give you some common sense. Isn't that how you nobles manage to get everything you own, go bawling to your parents?"  
  
Audrie turned haughtily around, ignoring all the others, and stalked out of the inn. The thieves left behind either stared at Raoul in surprise or glared at him with malice.  
  
"It's not wise to be on her bad side, you know." Jered stood beside Raoul and put a hand on the taller man's shoulder. "She has the worst tendency to show up when you least want her too and destroy what you're working on. Don't go starting any large projects this next year, okay? And be careful for wires meant for tripping if you joust."  
  
"She does that?" Alan tried to hide a grin.  
  
"With a vengeance." Jered sighed. "She doesn't appreciate pranks on her though. Put anything in her food and you risk being tortured for the next year."  
  
Suddenly a young boy ran in. Alan vaguely recognized that he was a page at the palace and wondered why he was here. The boy seemed slightly winded but looked up with hopeful eyes as he scanned the room.  
  
"Is-is the Ace of Spades here?" The young boy huffed, "I wanted to talk to her."  
  
"She just-" George cut himself off. "She's off in Serain. She won't be back for some time."  
  
"But that's not possible, I saw her just a moment ago, on the-" The boy stopped and stared at the ceiling. "What are you doing on the rafters?"  
  
Out of seemingly nowhere Audrie swung down of a supporting beam and landed on her feet directly in front of the young boy.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Audrie grabbed the young boy and hauled him out into the hallway. "Pray tell, what are you doing here?"  
  
"I wanted to apologize. I figured out that you were at the-"  
  
Audrie clapped a hand over his mouth. "Don't even finish that sentence. Nosey people have a slight tendency to listen in!" She glared at the boy before letting her hand off his mouth.  
  
"Okay, okay!" The boy gave a stubborn sigh. "You always were paranoid that way. Always afraid someone was listening in or following you to your latest stash of money for the day. Who would bother?"  
  
"More people than you really care to know. I've had enough people try to take my share of loot to last a lifetime. People sink low, get used to it." Audrie sighed at the young boy's lack of worldly knowledge. "Torran, what are you doing here? I've asked you more than enough times now."  
  
"I was telling you. I wanted to apologize."  
  
"For what? You haven't done anything recently."  
  
"Recently, yeah, but you're still angry at me for lying about being a noble."  
  
"So? Why would that matter to you? You're a noble. That states everything."  
  
"What do you mean? It's not like all nobles are bad."  
  
"Uh huh. Are you going to apologize and explain anytime this generation or do you have to wait until you're fifty first?" Audrie couldn't help it, she smiled. After all, he had been learning the Rogue from her back in Naren, she supposed she couldn't be entirely indifferent to him.  
  
"Fine. I'm sorry for lying. I wanted to learn the rogue and escape my parents and having to be a noble, but then my parents found out and kept me from going to the city. These days I don't mind being a noble quite so much. The people are nicer than you always made them out to be."  
  
"Nobles and honesty don't mix."  
  
"That's what I hear about thieves in the palace."  
  
"Which proves my point; they lie." Audrie thought back to Alan and the kinder nobles she knew. "I suppose some of them are tolerable though. Not the most interesting bunch though."  
  
"I won't deny that." Torran laughed. "You should hear the ladies- oh wait, you already do." "Be quiet!" Audrie hissed once more, "Don't forget that Raoul and Alan are out there. Either one of them could listen in and take that information to Provost. That means death for me. Death and I don't mesh well."  
  
"Alright, alright. Sorry."  
  
The two headed back into the main room, with Audrie in a slightly better mood than before. Then she remembered why she had left the inn in the first place. She only snuck back in in order to hear what they were saying about her, and had no intention of actually reappearing. Now she collected the attention of most who were in the room, with the exception of the few who were already drunk so early in the afternoon.  
  
"Did I suddenly go bald, or is there some other reason as to why everyone's staring at me?" Audrie snapped.  
  
Only a few knew what entrance Audrie used to reenter the inn, and the others were still somewhat bewildered on how she had suddenly popped up sitting on the rafters. Whether they knew or didn't, all looked on with interest on how Raoul would react to her this time.  
  
Suddenly Raoul drew his sword, pointing the tip in Audrie's direction. The meaning was as blatant as purple polka dots on pink: Raoul was challenging Audrie to a duel.  
  
"Fine," Audrie grasped the tip of the sword between her index and thumb, bending it down slightly and letting it twang quietly as she let go. "But not with swords. Can't fight with something I don't have."  
  
"What do you propose?" Raoul's calm, now slightly cold eyes locked onto Audrie's firey ones.  
  
"Hand to hand, what else?" Audrie met his gaze calmly. "Unless, of course, it's not within your ability to street brawl?" She challenged his ability to wrestle, and considering his impressive size, it would be strange if he couldn't.  
  
"Name the place. I don't care what type of fight it is."  
  
"In a street brawl, where is there to fight but the street?" Audrie smiled with superiority as Raoul registered some surprise on his face. "Would you rather do something else? Poor child, but isn't it the challenged who's supposed to choose what sort of battle it is? I insist, hand to hand is the best way to fight."  
  
"I don't care," Raoul nearly growled, "Just tell me where it'll be already."  
  
"Where it will be?" Audrie sniffed with the air of any court lady. "You're too used to being able to prepare in advance, aren't you? No, the fight can be right now, right outside. That's simple enough for you to understand, isn't it?"  
  
Suddenly Alan pulled Audrie off to the side. "What is with you? When did you become so cruel and rude?"  
  
"I always have been. I didn't change Alan, I've just been forced to hide it. I can be nasty when I want to be, so you should get used to it. I don't change for others either." Audrie smiled grimly. "Don't like this other side of me?"  
  
"But why be so mean to Raoul? What did he do to you?"  
  
"He's the one who overreacted in the first place. I simply think up retorts to everything he says."  
  
"Do you have to be so mean about it? I doubt you would have been so rude to him if he overreacted earlier this week."  
  
"That's not the point."  
  
"Then what is?" Snapped Alan, "You act as though you're doing only the normal thing, but most people aren't nearly as insulting as you are."  
  
Audrie sighed. "I don't want to fight with him you know. Personally, I'd just like to enjoy my time here at the Dancing Dove, but if he's going act so insulted and indignant like some little child, then I'm going to treat him like one."  
  
"If you could just let me talk to him."  
  
"No," Audrie shook her head. "He's the one who chose to do this. Besides, I've fanned the flames enough that he would never give up now. I tend to have that effect on people."  
  
Alan looked across the room to George to ask for some sort of support, but while the thief knew what conversation the two were having, he just shook his head and smiled. Alan sighed and looked to Audrie, who nodded grimly and turned back to Raoul.  
  
"I've changed my mind. There's a field not too far away. We can head there for the fight. That way you won't be quite so shamed when you lose." Audrie smirked.  
  
Indeed, Audrie led the way to a small yard covered in snow where young boys were playing. Trailing behind her not only was Raoul, but also a small mass of people. The young boys hooted as they saw Audrie walk into the area, and soon added themselves to the throng so that they could witness the fight the knew was about to occur.  
  
"This place will do." Audrie turned to the others and tried to shoo the younger boys off. "Go on, there's not going to be anything interesting here, you know that."  
  
"But there's always something interesting happening when you show up!" One boy protested. Others rallied behind him, and soon Audrie gave up on trying to make them leave.  
  
Suddenly Audrie swiftly side-kicked Raoul, knocking him to the ground. She stood beside him warily, as though waiting for him to jump instantly back up and punch her.  
  
"What was that for?!" Raoul glared at her.  
  
"What I came here for, fool. Street brawls don't have a 'ready, set, go' you know."  
  
Instead of replying, Raoul did jump up and tried to punch Audrie, but found himself punching air instead. Audrie had ducked below his punch and at the same time thrust herself forward to elbow Raoul beneath the ribs. He doubled backwards and Audrie lunged forward once more. This time he was far more prepared for the blow, and slammed into her with his shoulder before she could injure him.  
  
He used his weight to knock her onto the ground, and soon the two had gone from a standing fight to wrestling. Unfortunately for Audrie, when Raoul had been a page and squire, wrestling had been one of the things he was best at.  
  
Raoul had his arm around Audrie's neck when she kneed him in the groin. She quickly rose to the standing position and, with a small grin, flicked a knife from her boot. The fight quickly went from Raoul's advantage to Audrie's, since Raoul was a noble and naturally carried no knives with him on a regular basis.  
  
Raoul only stared in disbelief at Audrie's complete disregard for any concept of rules as she plunged forward again. Raoul's first reaction was to slip aside and grab Audrie's wrist, quickly prying the knife from her hand.  
  
Audrie growled and, to Raoul and everyone else's utter shock, bit into his hand. In total surprise Raoul let go of Audrie's wrist, and at that exact moment her foot swung out from under her with graceful momentum, aimed to strike Raoul square in the jaw.  
  
Raoul barely managed to grab her boot before she managed to hit him, and with a move he learned from a Shang Master that visited the palace once, twisted her foot swiftly, causing her to have her other foot swept from beneath her. But as she fell to the ground, Audrie pushed onto the ground and flipped into the air.  
  
Raoul peered into the sun, attempting to see even a glimpse of Audrie's silhouette against the sun, yet the sun left blind spots in his eyes, preventing him from seeing anything, let alone Audrie. He never saw her, but instead he felt as her boot smashed into her shoulder, jarring his very bones.  
  
The sound of a crash and rustling bushes forced him to sit up from his prostrated position the instant he had fallen down, and he rose to see Audrie attempting to quickly crawl out of the bushes five feet away. Apparently when she struck him in the shoulder she used extra force to rebound off but ended up falling into the bushes instead. He noticed that the bushes had done their damage: Audrie was covered in scratches from head to toe, and several parts of her dress had been ripped. Raoul stood up in a defending position, but his shoulder hurt enough that he would have preferred to just keel over at that instant. He would have loved to, but he saw that Audrie was still willing to fight, despite her fall into the bushes, which meant that he couldn't give up until she had.  
  
Audrie ran forward and slammed her elbow into him once more, but this time when Raoul fell over he grabbed her shoulder and pulled her down with him. This would have been perfect fine if it had been Raoul and another knight or squire fighting, but Audrie found herself on top of Raoul, in a position she did not find pleasing at all.  
  
Turning cherry red, Audrie smashed her elbow into Raoul's nose, bloodying it. She rose instantly, and, in a fit of rage and embarrassment, began to stomp on Raoul repeatedly (AN: As though he was a soda can for smashing and recycling!). By the time she left the small field, Raoul had the same consistency as the "Lots of Pulp" Orange Juice.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Audrie stalked off in utter embarrassment, leaving the small crowd to tend to Raoul's wounds. It turned out that Audrie had broken Raoul's collarbone, never mind the fact he had been beaten into a bloody mess. The healer's at the city had enough gift to heal his small cuts and bruises, but Alan thought it would be better to take Raoul to the palace healers for his collarbone.  
  
It was just as the group was heading back to the Dancing Dove with Raoul and Alan to retrieve the horses when Raoul remembered the entire reason why he had visited the inn in the first place: "Lady Audrelinia" was still "missing." At least, that's what he thought. When Raoul brought this up to George, the thief's face darkened.  
  
"I'm sure she'll turn up eventually." George tried to encourage Raoul without giving away what he knew.  
  
"Eventually?!" Raoul put his hand to his temples. "That's not soon enough! Jon will kill me before 'eventually' ever even occurs!"  
  
"Don't worry," Alan grinned falsely, since he too already knew about Audrie, 'Sara,' and Lady Audrelinia. "George will find her before dark, since at that point she'll be the only wellborn lady on the streets. After that, she can spend the night at the Dancing Dove."  
  
"Jon will have my hide for letting her stay there." Raoul protested.  
  
"You shouldn't worry about that." Jered inserted himself into the conversation. "Tell your Jon that she loved Corus so much she insisted upon staying the night, even though you were injured by a spooked horse. She was so insistent that you eventually relented but insisted she always stay within George's sight so that she would be kept safe. A perfect lie, if I do say so myself."  
  
Raoul looked hesitant, but finally nodded after several moments of contemplation. At that decision they went to retrieve Alan, Torran and Raoul's horses since Alan deemed Raoul too injured to journey back to the palace alone and Torran too young to stay the night at the inn with no one else around.  
  
At the inn they spotted a severely disgruntled 'Sara,' apparently in a new serving dress, ranting to the bartender as she drank from a flask of some sort of liquor. She was already slightly red in the face from the experience at the field and the liquor did little to lessen it. Not that she was entirely drunk- yet.  
  
The healers who had joined the group instantly tsked and rushed over to Audrie, complaining to her about her lack of natural grace and why couldn't she just stop trying to flourish everything she did so that she could stay out of trouble for merely one day and let them have a rest?  
  
By the time Audrie had stopped trying to shoo the healers away and they had mostly healed all of her scratches, everyone else had settled down to their usual activities, though Raoul and Alan had yet to leave. Jered suggested to Alan that the two stay for just a short while longer to wait for Lady Audrelinia, who supposedly still wandered the streets.  
  
"Do you think we should just head out now?" Raoul sighed somewhat nervously.  
  
"I guess it'll be a while longer before any of George's men find her. After all, the sun's still setting, so there are still people out on the streets." Alan nodded hesitantly, shifting a glance over to Audrie, who had just started dancing, encouraging others to dance with her. "We might as well leave. Hopefully, Jon won't be too angry."  
  
Alan noticed that something of a celebration had been struck up, and now there were plenty of people dancing, laughing, and more than enough drinking. Audrie sauntered over leisurely, stopping briefly to chat with other people before finally reaching Alan, Raoul, Jered and George.  
  
"This is what midwinter festivals are like here. Much better than anything at the palace, I would think." Audrie smiled brilliantly to Alan. Apparently in all of the celebration she forget the earlier occurrences of the day.  
  
"Oh, I don't know," Alan shrugged. "Midwinter festivals at the palace are... fun, I suppose." Raoul stifled a laugh at Alan's idea of midwinter festivals. "They're certainly not as lively as this though. Half the people at the dances appear to be half-asleep."  
  
"I suppose," Audrie turned to Raoul with a slightly cold look. "I should forgive you for being such a pervert."  
  
"What?!" Raoul turned slightly red. "When did I?!"  
  
"If you don't know, I won't tell. Oh, and a small warning, the Ace of Spades is better than even I am." Audrie lied through her teeth in hoped of scaring Raoul off from his inconvenient interest in her thief identity.  
  
Audrie laughed slightly before giving Raoul the tiniest of smiles, implying that she had forgiven him not only for the day's events but also for his accusations of earlier that week. Then she trotted off to rejoin the other festivities in the inn, laughing with the others as a particularly drunk Ercole attempted to kiss another serving girl, who promptly smacked him.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Raoul glanced back at the brightly lit inn from atop his bay horse. Beside him stood squire Alan and Torran, growing impatient with Raoul's reluctance to leave. But just as Raoul turned to head down the road to the palace, he could have sworn he head someone shout, "A toast to the brief return of the Ace of Spades!" and loud cheering following it.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
AN: Was this as long and tedious as the previous chapter? I hope not... 


	12. A Date

Disclaimer: Ah, silence. Hark, what sound breaks this golden peace? Uh... try me ranting about my distinct lack of ownership of ANYTHING. Hint: I own nothing in this fic beyond maybe Audrie and her hangover cure. Wait no, that's not mine either. Never mind.  
  
Author's Notes: It's been a while since I last updated... huh. Guess I've been a bit out of it lately. But now it's spring break for me so I can get back in gear and actually start writing again. Right. (Note: Thank you for so many reviews! It was great to find that so many liked my chapter!) Minor note: due to the fact I'm extremely lazy, I'm postponing the contest's winner until the 150th reviewer. This is also partly due to the fact I haven't introduced all pairings fully (In the end there are three possible pairings). Don't be angry, I have no choice!  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Audrie groaned and flopped over onto her stomach. A strange dead weight on top of her made it extremely difficult to turn over on the soft, luxurious bed she was laying on. Then it occurred to her that there were several things wrong with this picture. Her eyes blinked open slowly as Audrie suddenly realized she had no memory of actually falling asleep, and a sinking feeling hit her as she wondered what on her the strange dead weight on her back was.  
  
Audrie tossed over once more, this time fully awake, and found herself staring at someone's feet. "What the hell?!" Audrie shoved the feet off of her stomach, apparently waking the owner.  
  
"What was that for?" Jered groaned from the opposite side of the bed. He sat up to find himself staring at Audrie, who was red in the face from both anger and embarrassment.  
  
"Just what do you think? Just what am I doing in the same bed as you?!"  
  
"You mean you don't remember?" Jered blushed slightly at some memory that apparently evaded Audrie entirely.  
  
"Re-remember what?" Audrie, unlike Jered, didn't blush slightly, but rather turned a red that any crayon company would have been proud to rip off. "What happened last night?"  
  
"You started singing very off-tune, so loudly that everyone else insisted you shut up. They ended up tossing you in here with you still singing. You won't be able to walk around in public now, you know."  
  
"Singing?!! That's it?!" Audrie's eyes attained the look of a wild boar. "And you nearly gave me a heart attack for that?!"  
  
"Well, yeah. What were you thinking?" Jered winked at Audrie with a cunning look in his eyes.  
  
Audrie's fist met Jered's chin, and not in a way Gandhi would approve of. "What about after that, huh?" The evil glint in Audrie's eye, and perhaps also the fact she had one of her arms wrapped tightly around his neck, turning him slightly blue, and the other holding a knife firmly pressed against his throat, convinced Jered that it would be best to talk.  
  
"After that, I ended up slightly drunk, and since this is my room, I forgot that you drifted off in here and went to sleep. I didn't notice you at the time."  
  
Audrie's hands moved to begin massaging her temples. "Goddess protect me, you are an idiot, Jered."  
  
"It's not my fault you were drunk and got yourself shoved in here!"  
  
"So? Still, people will talk."  
  
"About you? Never. You're much too respected around here to have people talk about you." Jered robustly defended his friend. "Besides, they don't have the nerve to anger you after what you did to Raoul yesterday."  
  
"Great, what a comfort."  
  
Audrie hopped off the bed and stood in the mirror to inspect herself. Upon finding no faults beyond an extremely messy bedhead, Audrie started raking her hair with a brush she had found on the desk. Upon closer inspection of the brush, Audrie turned to glare at Jered. "What are you doing with a court lady's brush?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"No lady of the rogue would own such a brush. Where- and for that matter, why--- did you get this brush?"  
  
"No particular place, as no particular reason."  
  
"I'll believe that as soon as I see men crossdress as women." Audrie snorted as she finished brushing her hair and deftly left the room.  
  
Upon entering the din Audrie felt a shooting pain in her temples. "Oh, just great." She muttered as she headed over to the bar. "Do you have any hangover cures?" She looked hopefully to the bartender, who barely restrained a grin.  
  
"Hangover, Spades? I'm not surprised, after last night."  
  
"Yeah, well... yeah." Audrie could have slammed her head on the table for her lack of decent vocabulary for describing her headache, and if the slamming helped her ignore the pain, all the better.  
  
" I do believe I have just the thing." A small twinkle in the bartender's eyes gave Audrie small hope as he winked and then creaked open a door behind the counter. Apparently it led to his stash of alcohol, since he came back with a glass dark with a mysterious liquid.  
  
"And this would be...?" Audrie raised an eyebrow at the brown syrup-like concoction. "Or dare I ask?"  
  
"This would be the hangover cure." The look on Audrie's face was one of surprise and disgust, causing the bartender to laugh outright. "Merely a joke, lass, merely a joke. If you care to know, the best thing for a hangover is by far not so complicated a mixture as this." Instead, the bartender poured a translucent brownish-gold liquid from a pitcher into a glass. "Here, drink this."  
  
"I assume this is somewhat...safer?"  
  
"Of course, of course. I wouldn't give you this, child. This is a poison, requested by you last night."  
  
"I requested a poison last night? Of what type and for what purposes?"  
  
"You said, and I quote, 'the worst you have and plenty of it, so I can shove it up that duke's ass.' As a note of reference, poison doesn't work very well if you put it in a person 'that' way."  
  
"Uh, right." Audrie turned slightly red once more. "Anyway, I guess I'll be going now." Audrie stood and was about to go when she remembered she needed her regular clothes, which happened to still be in George's room.  
  
Rapping lightly on George's door, Audrie waited outside his door. She had just begun to tap her foot impatiently when the door opened. Entering gracefully, Audrie cast a glance to George before sweeping up her folded clothes from the day before.  
  
"I assume you'll be heading back then?" George grinned slightly before winking at her.  
  
"Yes, I will be."  
  
"No goodbyes then?" Another wink.  
  
"No, not really." Audrie glared at him warily as she changed her hair and began fixing it into something more appropriate for a lady.  
  
"Too bad." George managed to wink once more before Audrie shot a nasty look at him.  
  
"Is there something you're trying to tell me rather blatantly yet I still seem to be missing?" Audrie's dark look was one of foreboding. "For that matter, nearly everyone else I've seen today seems to have something in their eye as well. Perhaps there is dust settling."  
  
"So, how was last night?" George questioned lightly, ignoring Audrie's interrogations and ill-boding glares.  
  
"What do you mean by that?"  
  
"You know..." Audrie's questioning look told him she didn't. "You. Jered. One room. More than enough beer."  
  
"Excuse me?!! Nothing happened!!" If Audrie had any choice in the matter, George would have been a tiny pile of smoldering ash at the moment.  
  
"Oh. Well, sorry. Never mind then."  
  
Audrie shoved George out of the room while she was changing, only to stalk out with a final menacing look as she made her way to the door of the inn, only to stop once more and realize that she couldn't be leaving until Raoul and Alan bothered to show up.  
  
"What time is it?" Audrie plopped down in a seat and glared at Jered in implication for the time.  
  
"Can't be past noon, I'm sure."  
  
"What precision." Audrie scoffed at him. "Bartender," She hailed to the old man sitting behind the counter once more, "I've a favor to ask of you. Could you fill up this flask with that hangover cure?"  
  
Audrie tossed her empty flask to the old man, forgetting that he wouldn't be able to catch it. She was about to start apologizing profusely when, to everyone's amazement, the old man caught it with relative ease.  
  
"And you all thought I was just an old geezer." The bartender cackled at everyone's surprise, and went ahead and filled Audrie's flask to the brim. Then he capped it with a cork and tossed it back with ease similar to such previously displayed.  
  
This was a subject of discussion for the next twenty minutes, with several clapping the old man on the back and laughing. Audrie herself just allowed a broad grin and a sip of the mixture provided, sitting on in silence mostly, rather than joining in on the laughter.  
  
Another twenty minutes after the joke of the old bartender died down before there was a loud creek of the door of the inn opening. It turned out to be Raoul with Alan standing not much behind him. Upon their arrival Audrie snapped up into a more 'lady-like' sitting position and crammed the cork back into the neck of the flask.  
  
"You're here." Raoul sighed with relief. "And here I thought George would be telling me you keeled over from a heart attack after being to the inn."  
  
"I'm not nearly so frail, Raoul. Don't insult me." But rather than glaring, Audrie smiled broadly in Raoul's direction. "Beyond a few nasty scares," Audrie glanced maliciously towards George and Jered, "nothing went wrong at all."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
The trip back to the palace was relatively silent, other than the light snippets of conversation along the lines of "So, did you have a nice time?" and "Everything was alright then?" and, like any normal person, "Did you eat your vegetables while I was gone?" Er, wait no, that's not right, never mind, no one asked that.  
  
"I presume George made sure no one...?" Raoul looked nervously over to Audrie, who struggled to keep her face straight.  
  
"No one what?" Audrie decided to draw out Raoul's discomfort for all it was worth.  
  
"No one, well..."  
  
"What? Really, I'm curious." Actually, she wasn't. Audrie knew perfectly well what Raoul was asking.  
  
"No one groped you." Alan finally answered for his companion. "When we finally arrived at the palace and brought him to the healer's, all he could think about was what would happen if someone tried to flirt with you, or something of the like. He made up his mind that if anything happened to you that was less appropriate than anything at the palace, Jon would sentence him to death by nagging."  
  
"Oh, well, he needn't worry then. Nothing happened." Audrie would have tortured him more by mentioning how she awoke, but then realized that would embarrass her far more than him. Better for the others to be ignorant of her bad singing.  
  
Relief registered on Raoul's face the instant Audrie reassured him, only to grow tense once more when he noticed a shadowy figure not far ahead. Gripping his sword, Raoul nodded to Alan, who seemed to have noticed the figure as well.  
  
As the two silently agreed to rush ahead to protect Audrie, they didn't notice her making gagging faces and facial expressions not unlike mine when I have to watch my little sister for four hours. She had just been searching for a book in one of her bags to slam her head against when her male companions surged ahead to fight the mysterious man in their path.  
  
Audrie noticed her lack of companions just as she found her book, and strived to keep from laughing as she saw them up ahead, barely stopping before they ran into the enemy. They had stopped so suddenly when they realized just who the man was.  
  
As soon as Audrie regained her composure, she greeted the figure. "Roger, what a pleasant surprise." (Cough, cough), "For what reason have you come so far out of your way to escort us back home?"  
  
"Only your safety, my lady. After a night in the city you must be rather... traumatized." The duke smiled brilliantly, making Audrie want to ride over and smack him.  
  
"Traumatized? Poor soul, I do believe you've gotten me mixed up with Delia, now haven't you?" muttering to herself she added, "Mixed up and obviously dropped on his head as a child. Poor thing...not." But she smiled prettily to Roger as she added this, and he didn't seem to notice a thing.  
  
"Perhaps, perhaps." Roger smirked. " Well then I've come for no reason, haven't I?"  
  
"Apparently so." Audrie resisted the urge to trot her horse over and tie his loincloths in a knot.  
  
"Well, I suppose we're still both heading in the same place, aren't we?" Roger smiled once more, this time keeping it plastered falsely on his face.  
  
Audrie nodded curtly and nudged her horse ahead to join the others. But now that Roger had joined the group, the mood dampened significantly, and barely a word was spoken. Audrie kept her eyes coldly on the road ahead, refusing to bristle or even react at all at Roger's intent gaze that bored into her back.  
  
Roger hadn't come just to make sure she was alright, that much Audrie knew. But she couldn't even fathom his actual reason. It continued to plague her as the group plodded on towards their destination.  
  
Finally, Roger broke the silence. "Tell me, Audrie, is there anyone courting you?"  
  
Audrie fought her regurgitation reflex upon hearing the duke interest in her personal life. "Why would that be of importance to one of your stature?" She avoided the question like the plague.  
  
"Curiosity, you could say."  
  
"Have you no curiosity for, say, Raoul's personal life? Certainly his is of more interest than mine."  
  
"So you have none then?"  
  
Finally, Audrie began to show signs of annoyance. Her eyelid began to tick slightly, and it was obvious she was straining to look emotionless. "Perhaps a different subject would be better."  
  
"Oh no," Alan broke in, "I like this one very much, my lady." Audrie glared at Alan with such annoyance he was afraid what she would do to him later.  
  
"Has no one any respect for privacy?" A plan struck in Audrie's mind. "Certainly the king wouldn't like to hear of such rudeness to a lady." Blackmail. Ah, the ultimate solution to everything.  
  
"I was only curious whether you had any plans for, say, breakfast tomorrow morning." The duke's false smile turned to one which, to Audrie's dismay, was in fact rather sincere.  
  
A pit formed in Audrie's stomach. "And what does that have to do with my having suitors?" Her tone remained one of ice.  
  
"Having a suitor would take up much of your time, preventing you from having breakfast with me."  
  
"I'm not sure of my plans for any breakfasts in the future. Perhaps when they are more... imminent, I will be more sure of them."  
  
"If you have no particular commitments, then, perhaps tomorrow would be a suitable day? Is that soon enough for you?"  
  
Audrie silently cursed herself for her choice of words. "Breakfast tomorrow would be lovely. I look forward to it." The words left a nasty taste on Audrie's tongue, and she knew she wouldn't be looking forward to anything tomorrow.  
  
"Perfect." The duke nodded warmly to her, and then with less enthusiasm to the others of the party.  
  
While they had been having their conversation, the group had drawn close to the palace, and now they were close enough that there was no more need of talking. They rode to the stables where Audrie once more left her horse to be taken care of by others, as did Duke Roger. The other two, however, chose to care for their horses on their own.  
  
Audrie stalked off in a dark mood, to the notice of Raoul and Alan, but apparently not to the duke.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Something wrong?"  
  
"Hmm?" Audrie looked up from the letter she was writing to find Raoul standing in the doorway.  
  
"You seemed angry. What happened?"  
  
Audrie laughed almost bitterly. "You were there, weren't you?" She shook her head, sandy blond hair swishing back and forth. "It wasn't anything you did. It's just now I'm trapped into having breakfast with Roger. To be entirely honest, I cannot stand him."  
  
"You can't?" Raoul stared in disbelief. "Why not? He seems relatively nice to me."  
  
"And superior, snotty, and a general pain." Audrie sighed. "He seems to be determined to drive me insane with the random 'kindness' of dropping in when least needed.  
  
Raoul decided to drop the topic. After all, the last time he treaded on dangerous grounds, Audrie refused to speak to him afterwards. "So, are you looking forward to the Midwinter balls next week?" Raoul thought he was switching from an unpleasant topic to one Audrie would be more happy to discuss, but he had chosen the wrong second topic.  
  
"..." Audrie refused to comment.  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"That means I'm as loath to go to the festival as I am to Roger's little tea party."  
  
"I never thought I'd meet a lady who hated dancing as much as I do." Raoul grinned.  
  
"Don't even bring that up!"  
  
"Why not? What's wrong with a lady not liking dancing?"  
  
"The fact that I have no clue how to dance, let alone whether I like to or not!"  
  
"You don't know how to dance? Not in the least?"  
  
Audrie shook her head sadly. Raoul looked at her incredulously. Like any typical noble, he couldn't imagine a lady who didn't know how to dance at least the most simple of dances.  
  
"Do you want me to teach you?" Raoul suggested this alternative, but doubted she could learn in such little time. Then he wondered just what she did at that convent of hers anyways.  
  
Audrie wanted to learn formal dancing about as much as she wanted to eat chicken feet at a dim sum restaurant (AN: I had dim sum this morning, don't blame me for the anachronisms!), but realized that if she didn't learn by that time she would be doomed to fall flat on her face in the middle of the ball.  
  
After a seven minute pause, Audrie finally nodded. "But don't blame me if I step on your toes!"  
  
Several toe-steppings and trippings on the hems of dresses later, along with one or two experiences of Audrie's face meeting the ground in a not so pleasant manner, Audrie could finally manage to dance one of the more simpler steps without killing Raoul's feet. Unfortunately, they were already long dead. Fortunately, it was time for dinner.  
  
"You need to go on a diet." Raoul told Audrie as the two stepped out of her room to head towards the dining hall.  
  
"And why should I?" Audrie glared up to him.  
  
"Because otherwise your putting all of your weight onto my feet will be the death of me."  
  
"And if you keep up with those manners, I won't be devastated at all." But Audrie slipped him a small grin as she left to find her seat next to.... the most boring old men of the entire court. Assuming she survived the midwinter festivals, the seating arrangements would still probably force her to die of boredom. 


	13. Breakfast

Disclaimer: I'm too tired to write a complex disclaimer this week. I own nothing except the disclaimer, but I suspect someone will claim this as well and I will have to disclaim the disclaimer along with everything else.  
  
Author's Notes: I am so sorry it's been so long since I last updated. Lately I've been really lazy and depressed and out of ideas entirely. If this next chapter is the worst one yet, you can't blame me, it's the IRS's fault. Even though they have nothing to do with my writing, it's still their fault.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Birds chirped pleasantly outside of the pane glass window. Unfortunately, Audrie didn't find them nearly as pleasant as everyone else. Birds meant morning, morning meant breakfast, and breakfast, today, meant Roger.  
  
Audrie rolled over onto her stomach, wishing that a hunter would just happen by and shoot each and every single bird outside of her window. However, due to the fact that she just oh so happened to be two inches away from the edge of her bed, Audrie's brief thoughts of birds were disturbed by her face meeting the floor, of which Audrie confirmed to be more than solid enough.  
  
"M'lady, are you alright?" Sarri rushed in to Audrie's aid.  
  
"You still assume I need your help." Audrie righted herself and ignored Sarri's attempts to assist her in fixing her hair. "I'm fine on my own, thank you very much."  
  
Sarri merely tsked and pulled back Audrie's black hair into a tight bun, much to Audrie's displeasure. "What's got you in such a twist? From what I've heard around the servants' quarters, you have a breakfast with the Duke. He must be related to the god's or something, because his looks are divine, I tell you. I would be ecstatic if I had the offer to spend a meal with him."  
  
"He has the looks of a painting and the personality of it's canvas." Audrie snapped. "Dry and boring. I have no reason to want to go to breakfast with him beyond the hope it will save me from worse possible seating arrangements in the dining hall, though I can imagine few worse than this."  
  
A flash of light and Audrie's hair was it's false sandy blond once more, her eyes now a dancing blue instead of trickster green. She stood, attempted to put her dress over her head, only succeeding at forcing Sarri to fret over her hair once more and force her into an unusually tight corset.  
  
"If I die from lack of air, you won't be receiving anything in my will; you know that, right?" Audrie glared but added finishing touches with a ring of pearls. Then, after cramming her feet into abnormally tiny shoes, she attempted to glide out of the room, attempted being the key word.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
She entered the hall to find people streaming past to get to the dining hall, and found herself grateful for at least not having to put up with the usual clamor of a hundred other people.  
  
This thought instantly vanished as she saw Roger gliding down the hall beaming brighter than the sun that still gave her a minor headache. The pit in her stomach grew larger as he stopped in front of her and gracefully swept a deep bow. Courtesy required an equally deep curtsey from Audrie and she nearly tipped over in her attempt, the only thing stopping her from falling flat of her face was that Roger supported her elbow on the way up. The concept she had depended on him for a second made her sick.  
  
"You slept well, my lord?" A sickly sweet smile took its place on Audrie's face.  
  
"Quite well, thank you. But really, perhaps conversation would be more pleasant in a place...quieter than the hall, don't you think?"  
  
"Of course. It's much too loud to have polite conversation in the hall. But where would you propose to converse then?"  
  
"I do believe there's a small room set up with the proper dining necessities. Would that please you?" He lifted his arm for Audrie to rest her own upon.  
  
'He went so far as to set up an extra room? I'm touched. Not.' The fact he had gone so far out of his way to have peace and quiet disturbed Audrie, but she placed her hand upon his and walked with him to an out of the way, spacious room ('small?' Audrie wondered what he defined large as).  
  
The two sat and Audrie's torture began as conversation led to controversial subjects such as the weather and the latest dances, none of which Audrie actually knew but she somehow convinced Roger she was very talented at.  
  
She somehow got the impression he wasn't really listening to her when she started to talk about the quality of the floor tiles (all marble, mind you, very important) and all he said in reply was, "Of course, I agree entirely." At this point she noticed where his eyes were focused and turned bright red. She waved a hand in front of her chest and he suddenly looked up.  
  
"I'm sorry? I missed that last comment." He smiled warmly enough to melt any court lady's heart but not Audrie's. Inside she grimaced but kept it to just that: inside.  
  
"Nothing important, I'm sure. Perhaps you didn't get as much sleep as you thought." Audrie felt slightly sick to her stomach.  
  
"Yes, perhaps." That annoying smile again.  
  
Audrie looked away, afraid she would give him the wrong idea. Instead she caught the eyes of the servant that was serving her eggs. The pit in her stomach turned into a full-fledged black hole.  
  
"Would you please excuse me for a moment?" Audrie forced a queasy smile at the Duke. She rose before he could answer and spoke to the servant, "Could I ask a favor of you please? Come outside for a second. I won't keep you for long." A bat of the eyes and he was perfectly eager to come along.  
  
Outside Audrie grabbed the servant by the ear and began dragging him down the hall. "What the hell are you doing here?!" She slammed him against the wall of a hallway far away from the room she had just been in. Surprisingly, no one else was around. "Well?!" She hissed. "Explain, Ballin!"  
  
"I thought I recognized you from somewhere!" He grinned, but then instantly switched to a frown that seemed to be his least natural expression, for it etched unnatural wrinkles into his face. "You've changed. For the worse. I liked you better before."  
  
"Don't talk about what you don't know."  
  
"I know that you weren't a lady before. That's a change."  
  
"Than you spent five years with me and still didn't learn anything about my abilities as a con-artist. I'm no lady, I never could have been."  
  
"That's not true. If you had gone back to your mother, she would have crammed your past into a box and made you into a lady again. You know I'm right."  
  
"No, because I never went back to my parents. I hated them more than anyone."  
  
"You left us when you were fifteen. We never knew what happened to you after that. How were we to know you didn't go sniveling back to your family without us to stop you?"  
  
An expression of outrage and disgust found itself on Audrie's face. "How dare you! I never once thought of going back and you know. Not from when I was seven until I left, and I never thought of going back even after I left the rest of the band. It makes me sick that you would think I would do that. Some friends."  
  
"You know we never thought that!" A grin once more covered Ballin's face. "I just wanted to make sure you hadn't changed that much. Remember when you first joined us and we suggested you go back home since you were so young? You nearly tore our camp apart!" His infectious laugh forced Audrie to grin as well.  
  
"Those times were fun. I haven't changed so much in these last three years though. This is simply an infiltration."  
  
"That explains your breakfast with the Duke, now doesn't it?"  
  
"My presence makes more sense than yours does. My speciality was always disguise and then letting you in. And slight of hand, always that. Explain your reasons, hm?"  
  
"Same, more or less. We've moved out of Tusaine recently, partly because of the rumors of war. We don't want to be in the middle. Lucky for us we got out in time, but since then nearly everything's gone to the ground in Tusaine which leaves us with nothing to steal. So we moved here. Lot richer people to loot 'round here, don't you think?"  
  
"Of course, but better people to protect them. You know that. It's not nearly as safe for a band of thieves to just loot towns around here. Have you lost anyone? Or gained?"  
  
"Gerrald died. Old age, mostly. Too hard for him to keep running, you know? He was a good old man though. Since he's not around to order us around, Marcus took up the job. Five years younger but just as good at it. A few deaths here and there. The drought in Tusaine hit us pretty hard the year after you left. We have gained some younger kids though." He nodded sagely.  
  
"Twenty-three now, huh?" Audrie smiled. "You were like a big brother to me when I was there." A nostalgic smile passed onto her face, only to be quickly replaced by a hardened look. "But it doesn't matter whether it's only you here or the entire group, this is my quarry. Besides, the entire group can't loot this castle, you'd get killed by the guards before you made it to the main hall."  
  
"Or so you think. There are halls below the main floor. Everyone's hiding there for now, until the last night of the Midwinter festival."  
  
"My day. I've already claimed from now until then as mine to steal. You have to change plans. I don't care."  
  
"You don't understand. When I said the drought hit us hard, I meant it. We've lost enough that it's gotten harder to loot each time. We need this."  
  
"You try it and you'll all get killed. I don't want that. I've planned this out with the King of Thieves. My way is different. No one notices but I've still profited. You can't risk the entire group for the sake of a bit of money. It just doesn't work that way."  
  
"Audrie, three years ago we lost someone from our group, and while all of us hate to admit it, we needed her, despite her gender and young age. And I think... She needed us as much as we needed her."  
  
"Ballin, don't go sentimental of me. Just don't. I have to get back to breakfast. Really." Audrie glanced to the side and briskly walked off, leaving Ballin alone.  
  
"They need you, you need us, and I..." He trailed of and shook his head, a half moon of a smile crept onto his face.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"So sorry to have kept you so long. I had to ask him to request to the servant that cleans my room to not touch my desk, but he simply didn't understand what to do." Another false smile plastered itself on Audrie's face as she apologized to Roger.  
  
"Of course, I have the same trouble with a few things in my room involving complex magic that simply cannot be disturbed." A smile on Roger's face told Audrie that he hadn't heard a word of her conversation, and she lapsed back into polite conversation.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
By the end of the meal Audrie's head hurt from boring conversation. She thought she had heard the worst in the dining room hall next to old knights, but apparently she was wrong. Things hit an all time low when Roger started talking about his grandmother. Yet somehow he managed to keep himself perfectly entertained while Audrie simply turned to a puddle of mush from being pounded with useless facts about an old lady who did nothing, probably literally.  
  
But at last she was able to excuse herself with the excuse that she needed to primp herself for- surprise!- lunch. She dragged her feet as she returned to her room, though grateful because she had no repeat invitation of breakfast. Perhaps Roger had been more bored than he cared to admit.  
  
Drudging her feet, Audrie briefly closed her eyes but continued on. Unfortunately she found herself then walking straight into a large mass.  
  
"Raoul!"  
  
"Ah, Audrie. Uh, how are you?" His shifty eyes told her something was up.  
  
"Well, I was perfectly fine until Roger decided to exist, rather than simply keeling over and dying for my convenience last night. Besides that, I am now very curious as to why you seem so nervous."  
  
"It's not you, it's that well..."  
  
"Well?"  
  
"Delia's been cozying up to Jonathan again. It's just annoying that's all."  
  
"And that explains your nervousness so much. Not. Why would you be afraid about something annoying?"  
  
"She cozied up to some other men between now and her previous detachment from him."  
  
"Ah, and you happened to be one of those men?"  
  
"For a day or so. The dinner you were gone to she took an extreme liking to me, right in front of Jonathan."  
  
"Ouch." Audrie winced in sympathy. "Avoid him for a while."  
  
"I could have figured that out on my own."  
  
"Doesn't mean I won't tell you still." Audrie grinned. "Relax, I doubt he can hold a grudge as well as I can, and you survived me, right?"  
  
"He's worse, he's the prince. And I only barely survived you."  
  
"How very true." 'In more ways than one.' Audrie finished silently. 'Then again, I may never have forgiven him if I hadn't gotten into that fight.'  
  
Audrie smiled up to him and just shook her head. "It'll all turn out right. You have that annoying tendency for that, don't you?"  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Entering her room, Audrie saw Sarri smiling brightly at her. Suspicion creeped up on her as Sarri laughed slightly and shook her head.  
  
"M'lady, you certainly make your way around the men don't you? Despite defending yourself with the fact you have no interest in searching around for a man." Sarri laughed as Audrie looked on with incredulity.  
  
"What do you mean? I haven't been doing anything." Audrie snorted and sat down to fix her hair once more.  
  
"First Roger offers breakfast, then you flirt with Raoul? And I've heard a few rumors around the Dancing Dove. Few move that fast, and with such skill. Now Delia does, but she's something else."  
  
"I am doing no such thing! When did I flirt with Raoul? I simply don't sink so low as to flirt with friends."  
  
"When? Just a minute ago. I passed you in the hall."  
  
"I have no interest in Roger. He took a liking to me, that's all. Not my fault. And with Raoul, you must have mistaken my joking with him as flirting."  
  
"Oh no m'lady, I think he took it as flirting as well."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Author's notes: Sorry for the shorter chapter, but hey, it's here, right? It felt like the right place to end it. 


	14. IT'S THE I'M TOO LAZY TO TITLE THE CHAPT...

Disclaimer: Despite popular beliefs (according to a survey consisting of myself), I do not own any of Tamora Pierce's works.  
  
Author's notes: Surprised at the update? Me too... I hadn't intended to continue this fic due to complications (a.k.a., laziness) but found myself with the time to write the next chapter. I'm hoping to start up Spades once more and update far more often.  
  
IMPORTANT NOTE: When I started writing this, I had forgotten that it was supposed to be a three-week stay and not two, so just pretend a week has passed with no occurrence and I'll make up for it by cramming everything that was supposed to happen in that week into this week, okay?  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Never flirted in my life..." Audrie muttered, pinning up her hair violently "Never. Not once."  
  
"Then what was that conversation with Raoul, M'lady?" Sarri smiled and was nearly stabbed by one of Audrie's hair pins.  
  
"Accident." Audrie muttered and stood up once more. "Sorry." Shoving a green dress over her head, Audrie quite nearly stomped out of the room, only to see Prince Jonathan standing at the door. "Highness?" Audrie raised an eyebrow expectantly.  
  
"Lady Audrelinia!" Jon grinned. "Just the lady I wanted to see."  
  
"Oh really. How nice." In terms of oceans, Audrie's tone was a desert. "Why would that be?"  
  
"I was hoping that you could, uh..." Jon trailed off, unwilling to continue.  
  
"Yes?" The desert suddenly froze over.  
  
"Well, you're a lady, right?"  
  
"Unless I'm gravely mistaken and I've been tricked since birth, then yes."  
  
"And all ladies get along with each other, right? Well, I mean..." Jon searched for the right words, "You all talk. About... things..."  
  
"If you're wondering what Delia's said about you in bed, you'll be disappointed. I'm not particularly acquainted with her."  
  
Jon turned cherry red indignantly. "That's not what I was going to ask!"  
  
"Oh really? Then dare I ask what you were planning to ask?" Rather than forcing a smile, Audrie was trying to hide hers.  
  
"Whether you would ask her how I was doing in bed." "Such is the difference, your highness!"  
  
Jon took on a surprised face. "Then you'll do it?" "No. I told you, Delia and I are not on intimate terms. Feel free to ask her yourself though, you highness. No doubt she'll shower you with praise."  
  
Again the prince blushed. "Ah, yes, well... Lady Audrelinia, I'll see you at the ball tonight then."  
  
"The balls start tonight?!" Audrie felt as though she had just heard her death announcement.  
  
"Yes, didn't you know?"  
  
"Well, I knew they started soon, but..."  
  
"Well, you had best pick out your dresses right now. Most ladies are, so lunch will be particularly lonesome without you all."  
  
'Don't you mean interesting?' Audrie thought to herself as she turned back into her room to plan her doom.  
  
Sarri brighten as she entered the room. "You're back, m'lady?"  
  
"The balls start tonight."  
  
"You say that as though it's a bad thing."  
  
"Isn't it?"  
  
" I dare say you'll have a lovely time, and I'm sure you'll have a lovely time if," Sarri whisked out a particularly revealing off the shoulders aqua dress, "you wear this lovely dress. All the men will notice you."  
  
Audrie massaged her temples. "That's exactly what I don't want. You'll have to kill me to make me wear that dress." An evil glint in Sarri's eye told Audrie she shouldn't plan to let Sarri near her corset strings any time soon.  
  
At last they decided upon a blue-grey with loose sleeves and a unusually high neckline. Unusually high meaning that it didn't reveal half of Audrie's breasts.  
  
But by the time Audrie was even near putting on the dress she was ready to scream. Sarri had insisted upon scrubbing Audrie's back raw while bathing her, despite Audrie's insistance that she could bathe herself. After that, Sarri spent what, to Audrie, seemed like an eternity on makeup and hair. Yet afterwards, Audrie looked into the mirror, mesmerized by the calm beauty before her.  
  
"I guess this is why noble ladies are always preening. So they can look like this every day. It must do wonders for their egos." Audrie scoffed and then made a face. "I don't like it."  
  
"You don't like it, m'lady?" Sarri frowned. "Did I do something wrong? Was the blush not blended quite right?"  
  
"Don't be silly. I look perfect. That's the problem. Perfection is unnatural. It bothers me." Audrie stood and swept a shallow curtsey. "But if porcelain skin is what the nobles want, fine. It's only a few more days..."  
  
A sudden knock caused Audrie to jump out of her gracefulness. Opening the door carefully, she was surprised once more to Ballin standing in front of her. "What do you want?" She snapped, but looked away.  
  
"You look amazing." Ballin grinned. "I never knew our Audrie could look so lovely."  
  
"I can't. It's a disguise." Audrie's expression turned to that of annoyance.  
  
Ballin sighed,"I know, but it would be nice to think you had some femininity in you."  
  
A sharp glare from Audrie quieted Ballin. "I just wanted to tell you that we've discussed your presence here and decided we can't change our plans."  
  
Audrie's distracted glance was brought swiftly to Ballin's face with a raging anger he had seen only rarely before, but was quickly covered by a look of sad loss. The loud rant Ballin was expecting was replaced by only, "If that's what you've decided, I don't have much choice in it, do I?" Audrey sighed and looked away once more.  
  
"We... We just wanted you to know." Ballin nodded and left, softly closing the door behind him, but heard a soft "Fool" as the door clicked behind him.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Audrie sighed and plunked herself down on her bed. Then she noticed that Sarri was still in the room. "You're still here?"  
  
"Who was that handsome young lad, m'lady?"  
  
This received a dry laugh from Audrey. "No one you'd care to know." Then she remembered that Sarri knew George, so she would have little qualms knowing Ballin. "I ran away years ago. I was seven... My parents wanted me to marry and be lady, but I couldn't stand the idea. I ran away and joined a band of thieves. He was in the group. We were old friends. It seems that they've left Tusaine to come and loot here, where there's less starving people."  
  
"Why did you come to Corus without them, if you joined them when you were seven?"  
  
"I... was ready to leave. I was 15 then. I had been with them for eight years... It was fun though. I collected scars and tricks over the years. It was with them I got my nickname Ace of Spades, for cheating constantly with it in cards, though we all cheated. I guess you could say we were a desperate, collected family." Sarri sensed a touch of nostalgia in Audrie's voice. "Do you miss them? Still?"  
  
"I don't have time for nostalgia, especially when their practically asking to be killed by palace guards. My loot is my loot this time." Standing once more, Audrie looked out the window to find that the sun had begun to set. "So late?"  
  
"I suppose we spent more time preparing than you thought we would."  
  
"I suppose so. When is the ball?"  
  
"Dinner's to be two hours from now m'lady, once the sun's fully set. After that will be the dance. The dining hall will be set up exceptionally of course."  
  
"Let's just pray to the Goddess that I can actually be seated next to someone interesting for once."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Audrie's pray was obviously not answered, for she was seated next to some of the oldest visiting court ladies in all of Tortall.  
  
Scanning around the dining room while 'listening' to the eldest lady's comments on 'young ladies who lack proper manners', Audrie spotted the squire Alan serving the prince, who sat with his mother and father and, apparently, three guests.  
  
Abruptly, Audrie stood and fled from the room, barely avoiding tripping in her heels, but not avoiding the curious gazes of nearly everyone in the room.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"What in Mithros' name are they doing here?" Audrie sat in her room, gasping for breath. Still slightly out of breath, she didn't answer to the light tap on her door. The door creaked open a sliver to reveal Raoul, who stood there quietly for a moment, looking at Audrie sitting on her bed, head in her hands.  
  
"Lady Audrelinia?" Raoul fully opened the door. "What was that all about?"  
  
"Hm?" Audrie looked up for the first time.  
  
"Are you all right?" Raoul's face was one of concern.  
  
"Hm, oh, yeah sure." Audrie stood and started going through the many things on her desk, gathering up a few yellowing letters absent mindedly. "What's wrong?" Raoul grasped Audrie by the shoulder, forcing her to look up.  
  
"Nothing. Absolutely nothing." A weak smile formed on Audrie's lips before falling away entirely. A sad look passed over her face as she placed the letters back on the desk.  
  
"Why did you leave the dining hall."  
  
"Ah..." Audrie faltered and flailed for an excuse, "Nervous. About the dances, you know? I couldn't eat."  
  
"Of course," Raoul nodded but still looked at Audrie warily. "That makes sense, I suppose. But you should have stayed."  
  
"I felt sick."  
  
"You don't have to dance every dance, you know. You can sit out a few."  
  
"I'm bound to sit out half of them. Not that that's a bad thing. But no doubt I'll have to dance some." 'At least, enough to steal a good deal.' Audrie added silently.  
  
"You'll be fine, I'm sure." Raoul supported her, "Come, the dances should start in about a half an hour."  
  
"I'll just wait here until then."  
  
Raoul knew this as a dismissal, and didn't want people to wonder why he had been in Audrie's rooms for so long. With a brief glance to the old letters on Audrie's desk, he left.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
As the dances began, people migrated from the dining hall to one of the ball rooms. Audrie appeared only once the dances had fully began, as to avoid too many curious glances. She swept in quietly, and the only person to notice her entrance was squire Alan, who pointed her out to the group he was talking to, which included the prince, Raoul, Alex and several ladies.  
  
Planting a grin on her face, Audrie walked over to the group. "And how is everyone this evening?" Her false manners were unusually stiff this evening, but Audrie plastered on a smile bright enough to cover it and thereupon decided to forget everything and focus most on surviving through the evening.  
  
A predator like smile played on Delia's lips as Audrie's gaze fell upon her. "Quite well, thank you." Turning to Raoul, her green eyes swept over him. "Raoul, would you be so kind as to dance this song with me." It wasn't even a question. Delia took Raoul's arm and swept him into the crowd of dancers.  
  
As they left, Audrie vowed to do something terrible to her, like steal all of her loincloths. And judging from the prince's face, she wasn't the only pair who resented Delia.  
  
But before Audrie could even consider planning something for Delia, an old, though obviously rich, noble walked up to her and asked her to dance. Though culture forbid her refusal to dance, her stomach squirmed at the idea of dancing with him. But with a smile she curtseyed shallowly and accepted with what she hoped to be some grace.  
  
As the old man danced with her, he spoke of, much to Audrie's displeasure, the need of a wife and heir at this age. Every once in a while his hand would attempt to wander, at which Audrie would promptly 'accidentally' step on his toes with all her weight. Each time this happened, she would smile apologetically and, without his knowing, steal something of his. By the end of the dance, she thought she would have to start stripping him if she continued to steal. All of his rings were in a hidden pocket in the folds of her dress, along with his watch and several other valuables she had stolen off his person.  
  
This occurred several times, though with less lecheries and varying ages. Over an hour had passed before Audrie had the opportunity to rest her feet. Groaning inwardly, she walked over to the group from before, which had regained Gary and Raoul and several other knights but lost the prince and Delia, along with the other ladies.  
  
"Nyuh..." Audrie rested herself against the pillar the group stood by.  
  
"Tired?" Gary grinned. "You act as though you've never been to a ball before."  
  
"I'm a noblewoman. Do you really think I've never been to a ball before?" Audrie avoided the truth neatly. She left the lies up to their prejudices that noblewomen went to hundreds of balls in their free time.  
  
"Of course. You just seemed so tired." Gary shrugged but grinned maliciously, "Care for one more dance?"  
  
Audrie eyed him warily, "What do you mean? If your asking me, it's a solid n-" Audrie spotted Roger walking happily towards her. "Oh shit!"  
  
The men nearly jumped backwards at seeing Audrie curse. Several looks were exchanged among them all.  
  
"What, you've never heard a lady curse?" Audrie muttered under her breath as Roger neared.  
  
"Never once," was a unanimous response.  
  
"Then you've obviously never gotten out enough." Audrie retorted through her teeth as she plastered a smile on for Roger. It was this transformation from cursing cynic to bright and chipper lady that made the men wonder when Audrie was acting and when she wasn't.  
  
"Roger, what a pleasure to see you enjoying the ball." The plastered on smile began to twitch ever so slightly.  
  
"Indeed," The duke's smile seemed much more genuine than Audrie's. "Perhaps you'd care for a dance?"  
  
Audrie's smile twitched even more and there was a moment's hesitation as she looked around desperately for help. Finally, she answered, "Of course. There is little else I could desire but a dance with you."  
  
The duke grinned and swept a sickly looking Audrie off to the dance floor once more.  
  
"Poor soul," Gary commented to Raoul, "She must hate dancing as much as you do."  
  
"Are they gone?" Raoul came out from hiding behind the curtains, where he had been to avoid a group of giggling court ladies that had come in search of him saying "He needs to flirt a little. We'll just help him."  
  
"Yes," Gary replied, "Along with Audrie."  
  
"Who's she dancing with now?" Raoul looked out onto the dance floor trying to spot her.  
  
"The duke." Alex supplied.  
  
"But she hates him," Raoul contemplated Audrie's wanton dancing habits. "Why would she dance with him?"  
  
"Apparently she was most reluctant to agree." Alex added.  
  
Raoul found Audrie out on the dance floor, obviously not happy with her current arrangement, though the duke seemed oblivious to her dislike.  
  
At the end of the dance, Roger seemed most unwilling to let go of Audrie, who finally had to beg exhaustion from constant dancing. She returned to the group once more, with a dark look on her face.  
  
"He's a terror," She muttered, plunking against the pillar once more. "I think he's trying to kill me with boredom. Really."  
  
"I don't believe he'd really do that."  
  
"I do,"Audrie replied, "And besides, if he doesn't bore me to death, my feet will still kill me. Where was the chivalry in all of you when he asked me to dance? Not one of you tried to save me from him." Turning her glare to each of them she warned, "I'll get my revenge for that..."  
  
Within twenty minutes she had found some of the most annoyingly chatty ladies in the room (including several who sat at her table during dinner) and turned them on the group, saying the men needed dance partners. Several begging and desperate looks later, Audrie was very pleased with herself.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
The evening finally ended as Audrie laughed with the group about the old ladies, though she still sent Raoul and Gary out to dance occasionally. She left the room, though no one noticed, with her dress a good deal heavier than when she came in, nearly half of her booty from Roger alone.  
  
Returning to her rooms, she emptied the stash from her hidden pockets into her closet, and undressed, prying her shoes off her feet. After massaging her tender toes for a few minutes, Audrie winced but rose and grabbed her combat boots out of the closet, along with her usual thief's outift.  
  
Before leaving, Audrie untied her hair, brushed out the ringlets and took off the false attachments, allowing her hair to fade to its natural black hand her eyes to their green. Wiggling her toes a bit to appreciate their newfound freedom, Audrie smiled evilly and left the room at 15 minutes to one o'clock in the morning.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
This time Audrie's rounds included the guest rooms where the nobles who were merely visiting for the week were staying. She knew they would assume they had only lost their rings under the bed, or that the servants had taken it. Audrie felt vaguely guilty about the concept that the servants would be blamed for her thievery, but shook it off with a dismissal that servants, frankly, were used to those assumptions, whenever a lord or lady suddenly lost their ring under the bed.  
  
After taking a few things from each room- from one she took the bath towels- she moved onto the pages' rooms. There was nearly nothing there of worth that wouldn't be missed, though one boy owned several knives, and apparently had snuck a cat into his rooms, though the cat obviously hadn't been fed in some time. Picking up the two knives and finding them to be of little worth, mostly due to their bad craftsmanship, she ignored them and simply scooped up the cat, deciding it was to her liking. The cat purred instantly, since obviously the young page didn't take good care of it.  
  
Audrey returned to her rooms briefly to drop off what she had already stolen, along with the cat, which she set out some crackers she had stolen from the kitchen for. With that, she headed out once more.  
  
This time she went to the prince's room, where, much to her surprise, Delia was not there. Gracefully, Audrie swept several fine pocket watches and rings into a few pockets (for there were many in this pair of breeches). Grinning with an eery malice, Audrey went into Delia's room and stole several love letters, lightly erased the original receiver's name and wrote in the names of some of the ugliest men in court, and hand delivered them, courtesy of revenge.  
  
After that, Audrie went into Gary's rooms and found the usual terrible prose and poetry arrayed on his desk. Audrie was tempted to add in lines again, but the author decided against it because she doesn't like repeating tricks. Instead, Audrie stole his fine calligraphy pens, leaving a note that said, 'perhaps you'd be better off without these.'  
  
Finally, she snuck into Raoul's room, and surveyed it with a keen eye, conjuring up an image in her mind of what damage she could do. A smile crept onto her lips as she began heading toward Raoul's closet, an evil thought dancing in her head. She had been sifting through his closet, when a voice came from behind her.  
  
"And what exactly are you doing, Lady Spades?"  
  
Audrie whirled around to see that Raoul, who had been asleep on his desk, had either awakened or never been asleep in the first place.  
  
"What does it look like I'm doing?" She sneered visibly, but felt vaguely sick. Raoul was far closer to the door than she was, and the window was closed, and she didn't particularly feel like crashing through it and having people ask her what on earth happened to her arms and face the next day.  
  
Raoul looked at her contemplatively, and the smiled with a deceiving warmth. "I've been wanting to meet you for some time, you know." (Audrie snorted) " But your assistant informed me that you were traveling in Serain. She will be surprised to find you in Corus."  
  
"My assistant need not know everything I do." Audrie looked away slightly, hoping Raoul wouldn't notice her lack of eye contact. "In this case, it is to my advantage that she is not aware of my doings."  
  
"Now why would that be?"  
  
"If she knew I was in Corus, she would only be a hindrance to my work." Audrie gave Raoul a look that said 'And if you have to ask that, you've obviously never worked with assistants.'  
  
"And what sort of work are you doing?"  
  
'Stealing half your closet, to leave you with only dresses and night shirts?' Audrie considered the real answer but decided against it. "Nothing of import to you, My Lord." The touch of acid on the last two words was mostly due to annoyance, but an odd look passed over Raoul's face.  
  
"The last time I heard someone refer to being a noble as derogatory, it was from a court lady. Interestingly enough, she seemed to know a lot about you. Dare I ask if that was merely coincidence?'  
  
"Thieving knows much of coincidence." At that instant, Audrie snapped into movement, dashing the four steps to the door before Raoul even noticed she had moved from where she had standing. Running out into the hall, Audrie barely heard the footfall of Raoul running behind her.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Author's Notes: Yep, there's more. I haven't posted in about, oh, four months? So this chapter was pretty long, and I'm getting to work on the next one as soon as I post this. Really. So I hope you enjoyed the chapter (I'll be surprised if I get more than four reviews, but that's okay) and don't forget about the whole pairings deal: 150th reviewer gets to pick the final pairing. 


	15. With 15 Chapters You Begin to Run Out of...

Disclaimer: I'm too lazy to write an entertaining disclaimer this week. Go to www.disclaimer.com (nonexistant) to find your weekly disclaimer about how I own (surprise surprise!) absolutely nothing except Audrie and a few other things.  
  
Author's Note: Yup, another update. I'm trying to stay consistent. Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I'm surprised how many of you remembered me! Thanks to Semiramis for betareading this chapter!  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Thieving knows much of coincidence." At that instant, Audrie snapped into movement, dashing the four steps to the door before Raoul even noticed she had moved from where she had been standing. Running out into the hall, Audrie barely heard the footfall of Raoul running behind her.  
  
Her first instinct was to run back to her rooms, but instantly realized that was impossible: if she did, Raoul would follow her and discover her identity. Instead, Audrie ran down halls, the pounding boots making it easy for Raoul to follow close behind, though neither dared to say anything, for fear of waking anyone up. Sliding down stair rails, Audrie stifled a laugh as she spotted Raoul deliberating between sliding down the rails as well or taking the slower but slightly more dignified way of simply running down the steps. Pride took priority in the scenario, disappointing Audrie; she would have liked to see Raoul sliding down stair rails.  
  
Finally Audrie burst out of one of the side doors for the servants, gasping in the cold morning air. She nearly slowed down before she saw Raoul bursting out of the door as well. Her sudden burst of speed at his appearance, however, caused her to trip in icy mud, splattering her outfit and allowing Raoul to catch up. She was trying-- but failing-- to stand when he slowed to a stop in front of her.  
  
Audrie cursed under her breath and lashed out her foot towards Raoul. His face had a pitying look, as though she was a rabbit stuck in a trap and he was the hunter. Silently, he held out his hand to help her up. Face emotionless, Audrie took his hand and, gripping it tightly, raised herself up. And smashed her elbow into Raoul's gut.  
  
"I don't want your pity." She ran off to the first building she could think of, but Raoul, ignoring the pain of his stomach, soon ran after her, though he smiled when he saw which building she was heading towards.  
  
Audrie's boots pounded against the wooden stairs of Balor's Needle. Her lungs felt as though they were being ripped apart each time she drew in an icy breath of cold air, but she kept on going. Beneath her she heard the footfall of another running up the stairs as well. She reached the isolated top room of the tower, a desk covered in papers and a chair accompanying it were the only furniture in the room. Silently Audrie cursed but looked out to the stairs that wound around the outside of the tower.  
  
Raoul ran into the top room of the tower, gasping for breath, but found it surprisingly empty. He knew she should have been in there, he had heard her above him as he ran up the steps. Yet there was no sign of her, only the vague creaking o the metal outer steps as they swayed in the wind.  
  
Running out towards them, he looked down expecting to see the Ace of Spades sliding down them, yet saw nothing. The hunter's rabbit had disappeared into thin air. And giggled, apparently. Raoul snapped up and saw a smirking Ace of Spades on the roof, apparently no longer concerned about whether Raoul would find her. Much, this time, to her surprise, he climbed onto the handrail of the outer stairs and leapt onto the roof to join her. The smirk on her face remained there, but there was a certain paleness to her face that hadn't been there a second before. Now, however, Raoul too was smirking.  
  
"You're trapped, Miss Spades."  
  
Cocking an eyebrow, Audrie replied, straight faced, "How do you know I'm a miss and not a Mrs.?"  
  
"Forgive me, I assumed you were too young to be married."  
  
"Then you obviously don't know young women these days." A tiny smile played on Audrie's lips. "I'll have to inform my husband that I'm much more popular with the men these days than he'd like to think."  
  
"Indeed. But when shall you be telling him?"  
  
Audrie's face fell slightly but regained its composure quickly. "When I get down from here, of course."  
  
"My lady," Raoul looked straight into Audrie's eyes but found only indifference. "I don't believe you'll be getting off that easily. You see, I've just trapped you up here, and I'm not letting you down any time soon."  
  
"Indeed, I don't expect you to let me down at all." Wind ripped around Audrie as she untied the shawl from about her waist. "I can get down just fine on my own, thank you." Audrie suddenly ran to the edge of the roof and added, "By the way, I'm not really married," winked, and jumped off.  
  
Raoul dashed to where she had just been, and though he was too late to catch her, he saw the wind pushing her farther away from him at an astonishing speed, yet held her up due to her use of her shawl as a makeshift parachute. Nearly a hundred yards away she landed on the ground with a graceful roll, and he knew that if he tried to catch her she would be gone before he reached the bottom of the tower. Instead, he stayed on the roof and watched as she silently ran to the corner of the palace and, much to his surprise, rather than running off into the woods, turned the corner and was gone.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ Audrie sighed with relief as she slowed to a walk after turning the corner. She walked slowly, but failed to be silent as her ragged breaths disturbed the icy air, and snow crunched beneath her feet. She wiped off some of the ice and mud on her breeches and tapped her boots lightly on the frozen ground in front of the back door to the kitchen in order to shake some dirt off of them. Breathing a sigh of relief, Audrie found the kitchen to be still empty, and silently went to the hidden door in the pantry. A shiver ran through her body as she began climbing up the ladder, but she was too tired to bother to notice it.  
  
Entering her room, Audrie saw Sarri sitting on the large bed, a disapproving look on her face. "I come in here to prepare an early bath for you, and you're gone!" Sarri put on a woeful face and placed her hand on her heart. "What do you think that does to a girl like me? I had no idea what had happened to you!"  
  
"Wow, and here I thought I left my mother when I left home." Audrie grimaced, "Obviously, you've been talking to her."  
  
"Don't be silly. You look half frozen to death, what on earth happened? Why are you absolutely covered in mud?"  
  
"Think of it as a mud bath. Good for my complexion, or something of the like." Audrie threw the shawl onto her bed and wanted to flop down next to it. "Although, I wouldn't say no to that hot bath you were mentioning."  
  
Sarri sighed. "It was meant to be a cold bath, those are better for your complexion. But since yours is already so nice due to that mud bath, I'll draw up a hot bath."  
  
Audrie nodded and started undressing, happy to get the cold grit and dirt off her skin. She sighed as she remembered when she slept in her clothes in cold, muddy campsites, where dirty skin was a requirement and baths were never taken on a regular basis.  
  
"Amazing how dirt can be nostalgic, huh?" The trap-door painting creaked open and revealed a grinning Jered.  
  
A sharp glare on Audrie's part was soon replaced with cherry red embarrassment as she realized her situation. "Out, out, out!" She grabbed her shawl from her bed to cover her chest, and was grateful she hadn't taken her breeches off yet. Holding the shawl to herself with one hand, she began to push Jered back into the passageway with the other.  
  
"Hey!" Jered protested, "I was enjoying myself!"  
  
Another nasty glare from Audrie. "If you don't want a fountain pen shoved violently up your nose, I suggest you leave."  
  
"Ah. Well, then." Jered drooped slightly. "Perhaps I should be going. Don't mind me. I'll just keep George's news to myself. I'll be sure to tell him you refused to speak to me."  
  
Audrie raised an eyebrow. "What information?"  
  
"Regarding the next week. However much I love dropping in simply to see you, I do have a reason you know."  
  
"Oh really? I couldn't tell." Audrie sighed dramatically. "Whatever it is, you'll have to wait I--" Suddenly, Sarri walked in, blushed slightly, but grinned. "M'lady! If I had known you would be busy."  
  
Audrie blushed and turned towards Sarri. "That's not it--"  
  
"Of course not!" Jered began to play with her hair, defending her while not bothering to look up from twisting her hair into buns, apparently much entertained.  
  
"Will you stop that!" Audrie pulled her hair away from him and glared at him. "Whatever you have to say, say it, so that I can take a bath and rest. It's nearly four in the morning and I have yet to sleep at all!"  
  
"You didn't used to need sleep this much." The tone was vaguely accusing, and Jered received an icy glare from Audrie.  
  
"I didn't used to have to dance and act and pretend." Audrie sighed. "I'd rather wait tables and laugh and drink any day. And besides, I never considered two hours of sleep a lot. Even before I came to Corus. In Corus I work in the evenings, go out until morning, and sleep during the day. I still got plenty of sleep."  
  
"Do you want to know what George told me or not?"  
  
"What?!" Audrie grasped him by the shoulders and started shaking him, with a nasty glare on his face. "You're. The. One. Who. Changed. The. Stupid. Subject. In. The. First. Place!"  
  
Jered never replied. Instead, Audrie had to follow his gaze to where he was staring. Apparently, while shaking Jered Audrie had let her shawl drop.  
  
"You know, I always imagined you slightly better endowed. " Jered found himself turning blue very quickly as Audrie attempted to strangle him. "Okay, okay, it's not your fault your so flat!" Audrie's fist met with Jered's nose.  
  
This type of exchange continued for some time, resulting in many injuries on Jered's part. It ended as Jered pleaded defeat and allowed Audrie to change while he turned away.  
  
"What was it you were going to tell me? From George?" Audrie still glowered at Jered, but had basically forgiven him.  
  
"Basically, I came here to take whatever you've stolen and take it back to George to sell. Also, on Friday I'll come back to take everything of worth out of the room so we can sell it all. Extra profit, all that stuff."  
  
"Ah."Another dark look from Audrie. "Is that it?"  
  
"Pretty much. Care to have me help out with picking out your dresses for the week?" Jered pranced (Author MST: Pranced? WTF?! Is Jered gay?!) over to her closet and sifted through it. Pulling out a slinky red dress, he held it up to himself daintily and posed. "Well? How do I look?"  
  
Audrie snorted out the tea Sarri had just given her to warm her up. "What in the Goddess' name are you doing?!"  
  
"Well, if you don't wear it to the ball, I will. I think it suits me. But do you think it will make me look fat?"  
  
"You'll see me dead and mangled severely before you see me in that dress. And if you wear it you will find yourself dead and severely mangled."  
  
"Fine, fine." Jered continued pulling out various revealing dresses for suggestions for the ball, each of which Audrie would promptly refuse. Finally, he sighed and gave up, selecting out a soft green dress that he figured she would accept. "Happy?"  
  
"Quite." Plucking the dress out of his hands, she gave a light smile and a brief nod. "Now out."  
  
"What? But we have to pick out your other dresses too."  
  
"No, we don't." Audrie retorted. "You've had your fun picking out dresses and torturing me with the threat of wearing them, now go. I want that bath."  
  
"Fine, fine. But don't come crying to me when you can't pick out a dress tomorrow and you need my amazing fashion sense."  
  
"Out." Audrie grinned but propelled him over to the trap door.  
  
Once he had gone, along with all of the goods Audrie had stolen, Audrie finally took her bath, sighing as the warmth engulfed her sore body.  
  
She had been soaking for some time when a dark shadow passed behind her, lurking quietly. Then, as Audrie just began to fall asleep in the bath, it attacked!  
  
"I don't care! I don't want you to wash my hair! It's clean enough from yesterday!" Audrie snapped and glared at Sarri.  
  
"But m'lady, all that dirt!" Sarri continued to scrub at Audrie's hair. Audrie sighed and sulked, giving way to Sarri's demands about Audrie's hygiene, though not happily. After dragging Audrie out of her bath, Sarri began with the usual occult rituals of noblewomen by torturing Audrie with curling her hair into perfect ringlets and tying it up but leaving a few locks untied. Then Sarri continued by plastering far too much face paint on Audrie, of whom promptly removed it, forcing Sarri to redo it, though at a far less dramatic amount.  
  
"I have no intention of making a reputation as a clown or harlot in court, thank you very much. I have little need of such superfluities." (My beta reader kept using superfluous, so I felt like sticking it in.)Audrie stated solidly, crossing her arms. Sarri sighed at Audrie's stubbornness but refrained from any commentation.  
  
By the time Audrie was done preparing for the day, the sun had already risen and breakfast was due to begin momentarily. Audrie sighed but added a bit more face paint to hide the bags beneath her eyes.  
  
"So much for any sleep." At last finished, Audrie headed out of her room, groaning as she saw a beaming Roger directly in her path to the dining hall.  
  
"My lady, such a pleasure to see you!"  
  
Audrie nodded coldly. "You seem very." Audrie groped for a word beyond 'idiotic' "...chipper this morning, my lord." Audrie restrained from slamming her head against the wall due to her choice of adjectives.  
  
"You slept well last night, I presume?" Roger barely registered the fact that she had even spoken.  
  
"Of course. How kind of you to ask."  
  
Roger obviously didn't notice the dry sarcasm in her voice, for he simply nodded and smiled. "Would you be so kind as to allow me to escort you to breakfast?"  
  
"It would be too much." Audrie's face remained a mask of emotionlessness.  
  
"Oh no, of course not!" Roger's smile continued to be plastered on his face, without change.  
  
"No, no, I'm sure you're much too busy doing something else." The mask stayed on, though Audrie developed a minor eye tic.  
  
At last Roger's face fell slightly and he only replied with an, "Of course, of course. Too true." As Roger left, a tiny smile danced onto Audrie's lips. 'It's seems I've finally figured out these court manners.' Still smiling, Audrie walked down the hall with a certain lightness to her steps, mostly in relief that Roger wasn't there.  
  
Audrie found herself sitting in an unusually pleasing seat. She was next to Selia, who seemed to have finally gotten a grip on interesting conversation. At one minute Selia'd be chatting away blithely about political situations and her opinions on them, and the next joking with everyone around her about something else entirely, though her occasional wry joke was lost among those who expected her to be less intelligent.  
  
Across from Audrie sat the prince and his squire, Alan. Several other ladies and a few knights, Gary among them, sat around her, though most were paying attention to Selia's latest debate with Gary over rights for peasants.  
  
Finally, Audrie leaned forward slightly and tapped Jonathan on the shoulder, trying not to draw attention from everyone else. "Your highness?"  
  
Jonathan looked away from Selia and smiled slightly. "Yes?"  
  
"I noticed that at dinner last night there were three others with you. Who were they?"  
  
"Ah! So you noticed our important guests." Jon smiled broadly. "You see, we have the very king and queen of Tusaine here, as our guests. It's rather important to invite them here... for diplomatic purposes of course. And their eldest daughter is accompanying them."  
  
"How old is she?"  
  
"Ah, 16, I think?" Jon shrugged. "She's very beautiful, to be sure."  
  
"16? But I thought their oldest was--" Audrie stopped and began again, "I always hear that their eldest is 18."  
  
"Ah, you mean the princess' older sister? She's been gone for years. No one really knows what happened to her. Would you like it if I asked them this evening?"  
  
"No, no. Perhaps I'll ask them myself," Audrie insisted, "If that's alright, of course."  
  
"Of course. I'm sure they'll love to meet one of the the loveliest ladies in court."  
  
"Then they haven't been introduced to you yet?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"Nothing." Audrie smiled but her stomach sunk.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Breakfast passed without any further occurrence that would interest the reader, of whom I'm sure is currently falling asleep at what appears to be pointless conversation. Nevertheless, I'm sticking it in here. Anyway, the rest of the day passed similarly, so we've zoomed ahead to dinner. Happy? Oh yes, also, the cat wandered out of Audrie's room and into the kitchen, where it was promptly declare a demi-god by one of the foreign chefs and was fed richly with table scraps for the rest of its day.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Audrie sat herself down at the dinner table and was surprised to find that, in fact, she had been seated next to Raoul and Gary once more, along with the usual group of boring knights. She smiled brightly and began to joke quietly with them as the waiters came to fill their goblets.  
  
"Would you prefer water, my lady?" The waiter bent over to fill her glass and muttered, "You never had tolerance to alcohol anyway."  
  
After nearly falling out of her chair from surprise at seeing Ballin serving, Audrie smiled brightly and replied, "No, I think I'd prefer wine, really."  
  
"If you prefer." Changing the goblet for another, he poured this one with a dark red wine.  
  
"Don't meddle in my affairs," Audrie hissed between her teeth as he bent over.  
  
"I'm not. I'm meddling in my own." He replied evenly.  
  
Audrie smiled falsely and turned to Gary, "So, my lord, I've heard much of your fighting abilities. Do tell."  
  
No one noticed that Ballin's eye twitched slightly as he left.  
  
Gary droned on for some time, apparently not noticing that Audrie had lost interest two seconds after he began. Finally, winding down his speech about the difference in hilts of different makes of swords, he began to get the inkling that Audrie wasn't really paying attention. The fact she was asleep, head on the table, lightly murmering, might have been a clue.  
  
"Not gonna be a stupid..." She muttered in her sleep, "Don' wanna... I'll die before you can force me to marry..."  
  
Gary looked at Raoul with a look that clearly said, 'Are you sure she's sane?'. Raoul simply shrugged and tapped Audrie lightly on the shoulder, who raised her head slightly and blinked.  
  
"Huh?" Looking up and blinking sleepily, Audrie realized where she was. "I'm so sorry!" She sat up stiffly once more and began to apologize profusely. "I never meant to fall asleep, I'm terribly sorry. It's nothing personal of course" (This comment made Gary wonder if, in fact, it had been personal, a thought that hadn't previously crossed his mind) "I just... That is... I was... tired." Audrie finished lamely.  
  
"Not enough sleep last night?" Raoul looked at her concernedly.  
  
"Not really. I was woken early by my maid." 'Or would have been, had I actually been asleep' Audrie amended silently.  
  
"That's the trouble with some servants. They don't know when they're helpfulness is really a bother." Gary grumbled.  
  
This began a debate over servants and what was the proper attitude towards them. Periodically, Ballin would come over to serve food and make sure that All Was Well. The occasional odd glance towards Audrie was hardly noticed. Gary did notice, however, that Audrie would look around every once in a while, as though searching for someone, but chose not to comment.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Dinner soon ended, and the mass migration to the ball room commenced soon afterward. Women, of course, went back to their rooms to 'freshen up,' or add on an extra coat of face paint. A few prissy men did as well. Audrie returned to her room simply for a quick rest and for appearances. 'After all', she complained, 'how strange would it be to have a woman who simply didn't care about appearances and face paint?' After a brief muttering about superficiality, Audrie returned to the ball room, all smiles and laughter.  
  
Audrie's smiles, unfortunately, soon disappeared as she saw Roger, once more, happily walking -nearly bouncing, in fact- towards her, though she could have sworn it was only sadistic pleasure that brought him. Glancing around, Audrie latched onto the first male arm she could. Raoul looked down at her oddly, as though he had mistaken her grip on his arm for innocent fear rather than potent loathing.  
  
Roger swept a deep bow to the group Audrie was with, but nearly instantly went over to Audrie with a smile on his face. "My lady, a dance?"  
  
While Roger's smile was one of eagerness, Audrie's sickly smile could hardly be described as 'eager'. "I'm afraid, my lord," Audrie's grip on Raoul's arm tightened to the point where Raoul began to wonder if he would still be able to use his arm after this. "But I already have a dance partner for the next dance. Perhaps another time."  
  
"Who's your d-" Raoul began to ask, before he was dragged out onto the dance floor.  
  
Audrie dragged him as far into the crowd as possible, in order to guarantee that Roger wouldn't try to spot her. "If I have to dance with him one more time," She hissed, "I will personally see to it that everyone who didn't invite me to dance first is hanged."  
  
"You must really hate him."  
  
"Now what gave you that impression?" Audrie snapped, causing Raoul to grin. "What, dare I ask, is so funny?"  
  
"Nothing." Raoul looked away innocently. "Ah. Nothing made you grin. Of course."  
  
"I wonder who will kill the Duke first, his enemies in war, or you."  
  
"Both, because to me I am his enemy."  
  
At last the dance ended, and Audrie drifted off to the side of the room with Raoul. They continued chatting until Audrie realized her triumph.  
  
"I didn't step on your toes once, now did I?" She grinned like a Cheshire cat.  
  
"I don't believe you did, my lady."  
  
"Now, ask that man over there," Audrie pointed over the old man she had first danced with the night before. "He'll tell you otherwise. I don't know how many times I had to step on his toes before his hand failed to wander towards places it shouldn't."  
  
Raoul nearly spit out the wine he had been drinking. "You didn't!"  
  
"I don't like people fondling me where they shouldn't." A dark look passed over Audrie's face.  
  
"You don't?" Raoul grinned. "And the punishment is the death of the fondler's toes?"  
  
"Sometimes with the heel of my shoe."  
  
"Remind me never to fondle you then."  
  
Suddenly out of seemingly nowhere Ballin appeared with drinks in his hand. "More wine, my lord? My lady?"An icy look from Audrie only caused Ballin to grin. "Perhaps I could speak to you about ordering a specific drink?" Audrie maintained her 'Icy-look-that-would-freeze-people-over-if-she-had-any- choice-in-the-matter.'  
  
Dragging Ballin off away from Raoul, Audrie hissed to Ballin, "Staying to your own affairs, hm?"  
  
"Entirely." Ballin nodded knowingly. "I consider your well-being part of my affairs." He gave her a small pat on the head.  
  
"Stop being so condescending." Audrie glared once more. "We're just talking."  
  
"In a dark corner, where most people can't see or hear you, and about fondling. Things go on in corners like that, with conversations like that."  
  
Audrie groaned. "Leave it alone, Ballin."  
  
"Oh, but we can't leave our widdle Audwie out all alone with the wolves." Audrie's nails dug into Ballin's arm, but an evil smile played on her face. "Leave or I tell someone about your identity."  
  
Ballin stopped smiling. "Audrie, you wouldn't."  
  
"You've gotten the wrong person angry, Ballin. I would." Audrie let go of his arm. "Get me something strong. Beer if you have it. But put it in a wine glass."  
  
Ballin simply nodded and left. Audrie returned to Raoul with a false smile. "He just didn't seem to understand the concept of wanting my wine slightly diluted. I prefer my wine not quite as strong as they seem to be serving."  
  
Raoul nodded understandingly, "I prefer it this way myself, but I hear they serve it with more water at the convent, so it's understandable that you would prefer it that way." Audrie's lie had passed.  
  
The conversation drifted, and Audrie was asked to dance several more times, and from each she stole a good deal. Once Ballin returned with her drink, a stronger wine being apparently all he could get, but once he left Audrie continuously spotted him passing by often, checking on her.  
  
Only at the end of the night, her pockets laden with various things she had stolen, did Audrie realize she had failed to ever speak to the guests of the king and queen. Shrugging it off with a vow to speak to them tomorrow, Audrie returned to her rooms to stash her goods in the closet once more and, rather than go out again tonight, get a full night's sleep.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Author's Notes: Was this chapter too long? I wonder... I hope not. Anyway, only twenty more reviews to the 150th, so keep reviewing and we'll see what it ends up as. Here are the (basic) choices: Audrie/alone (not paired with anyone, walks off into sunset to never appear again), Audrie/Raoul, Audrie/Jered, Audrie/Ballin, Audrie/Roger (only if you really want to be morbid, please don't, it's just cruel), and, of course, Audrie/Jon (wtf??!! Apparently a few have suggested this but it was in no way one of my original intentions. In fact, I really don't like Jon...). Yeah, pretty much the last two are...Not really options. Please don't choose Roger. Although, if I get a few morbid requests I'll write an Alt. Ending. It'd be disturbing though. 


	16. Did You Know That I'm Not Good At Titlin...

Disclaimer: I don't own Tamora Pierce's works. In the alternate Universe where everyone can sing in tune and my isn't regularly ripped apart by my little sister, I do, but not in this one. Oh, and by the way, the ginger comment (about Roger) is actually not one of my own. Thank Terry Pratchett for the lovely idea.  
  
Author's Notes: Wow! Twelve reviews! I'm so happy.... ^.^... yeah. Special thanks to everyone who said the pairing they wanted in the end. Apparently, in the beginning everyone wanted Audrie/Raoul and now everyone's changed their minds and wants Audrie/Jered. Minor note: Jered prances around and is all feminine because I like him that way. If he didn't do that sort of stuff he wouldn't be half as interesting. So I'm not changing that, no matter what. Apparently no one likes Ballin much. Ah, well, I put it up to the readers because I couldn't decide, so I can't have much say in the matter. *Special thanks to Hisako-chan for giving me a really long review! I love long reviews, especially ones that say I've improved and stuff. Very good for my ego, it is.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Audrie woke with a jolt as she rolled off the bed for what must have tenth time since she began her stay at the palace. Groaning in pain and rubbing a red nose, she blinked fiercely trying to force her eyes open. Within moments Sarri was fluttering about, insisting upon helping Audrie bathe, dress, scratch her toes...  
  
"What is so important about today?" Audrie grouched and then gasped as Sarri pulled the strings of the corset to an rib-breaking tightness. "Not so tight!" No loosening occurred.  
  
"But m'lady, the prince is announcing several guests tonight, and it is the third night of the balls. Certainly you would like to look nice tonight."  
  
"Not particularly." Audrie glared at the revealing deep blue dress that Sarri had taken out of the closet. "Absolutely not! I will not wear that to court!"  
  
"You will, m'lady. It's simply perfect on you." At which the dress was promptly shoved over Audrie's head before she could voice further complaints.  
  
Icy silence exuded from Audrie until she left the room, muttering about evil servants. She walked into the dining room to discover that her luck in terms of seating arrangements had obviously ran out. She had been placed right next to Roger and Delia, with only the most boring knights as support. She immediately switched from cursing Sarri to swearing that if she ever met the seating arranger he would find himself in sore predicaments involving a wine bottle in uncomfortable places.  
  
However displeased Audrie was with the seating arrangements, Roger was nearly ecstatic. He instantly insisted that the knight across from him switch places with her, and Audrie barely kept from smacking him as he began staring at her chest with a disconcerting enrapture.  
  
"What a lovely...dress you're wearing today, my lady." A dazed smile wandered idly onto Roger's lips.  
  
"How kind of you to say so." Audrie nodded politely towards Delia and the other knights at the table, but silently vowed that should she die within two seconds it would be too late for her liking.  
  
Despite her occasional wave in front of Roger's face, Roger continued to stare consistently at Audrie's chest, resulting in a rather disgruntled (AN: Isn't that such a great word?) and annoyed Audrie. Towards the end of the meal conversation had drifted towards different species of fish, as suggested by the elderly knight who sat diagonal from Audrie, who was known to have never actually fought in his life, but rather fished daily. At last, just as the old knight began to list the various subspecies of tuna, breakfast ended and Audrie fled the table before the man could even finish 'Thunnus Alalunga'.  
  
Stomping her way out of the dining hall Audrie muttered vicious thoughts about Roger. "And here I thought conversations couldn't get any worse with those old court ladies. He ought to have some ginger shoved up his-" Audrie felt a sudden pain in her nose, and realized she had walked straight into a wall.  
  
"You enjoy walking into walls, I take it?" Raoul grinned as she rubbed her abused nose.  
  
"It's not my fault." She sulked, "I was...distracted."  
  
"About..?"  
  
"I won't name any names, but his name begins with R, ends with R and has O, G, and E in between, though not necessarily in that order."  
  
Raoul simply sighed, silently swearing that he'd never understand Audrie's seemly wanton loathing of Roger. "I don't suppose you have time for a walk today?"  
  
"Well," Audrie hesitated, wondering if Jered would decide to randomly pop up in her room again. "I don't know if I'll have the time."  
  
"Everyone's barely had time to see you," Raoul protested, despite the lack of actual refusal.  
  
"'Everyone,' as you call them, has seen me at the ball each night." Audrie retorted.  
  
"Yes, but, that's different."  
  
"How so?"  
  
"You're gone half the time, dancing. And it's so formal."  
  
Audrie arched an eyebrow. "Everything in court is formal."  
  
"Not when you're around. You change everyone."  
  
"I do, do I?" Audrie sighed and resigned. Giving a sly grin, she finally answered with, "I suppose I could fit you in between powdering my face to death and dying from lack of oxygen due to corset."  
  
"I suppose we'll be lucky to see you at dinner then."  
  
"You're lucky I haven't died yet."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Audrie entered her room expecting to see Jered plunked on her bed once more, waiting for her to return. But the room was eerily silent, to the point where Audrie wondered whether something was wrong. Suspiciously, she checked under the bed and in the closet, and anywhere else someone might be hiding. Finally, she peered into the empty darkness of the hidden passageway behind the painting, and realized that the silence wasn't because of someone being there, it was the lack of someone being there. Usually Sarri would be in the room, ready to pamper and fret over Audrie the minute she entered.  
  
Audrie glanced around and spotted, in accordance to Murphy's Law, a tiny note left on the desk where, naturally, it would be expected to be the first place to look for the note but the last Audrie would actually look. The note was written in a loose, clumsy handwriting that Audrie didn't think was actually Sarri's, more likely she had a more educated servant write it for her. Audrie took several moments to decipher the note, which had many misspellings and several words that couldn't be read at all. Audrie finally figured out that it said, 'M'lady, M'lord Raoul requested that I not bother you today for he had' Several words were scratched out here, much to Audrie's annoyance, 'Intentions. I thought it best if I wasn't around if he'd be asking questions of such sort.'  
  
'Intentions?' Audrie's eyelid tick was back. 'What in the Goddess' name did Raoul mean by that?' It dawned on her that Raoul had probably said he wished to speak to her and Sarri had taken it in the romantic, wedding type way. Audrie silently added Sarri to the list of people of which life would be much more pleasant without. Roger and the Seating Arranger were already on the list, which no doubt would grow in size.  
  
Before she could finish thinking up terrible punishments for the three on her list, there was a light tap on the door. "First time somebody's actually knocked in ages." She muttered, and opened the door to find, not much to her surprise, Raoul. "Haven't powdered my face yet." She replied before he could even say anything, "You'll have to wait."  
  
"Don't you need a servant to help you with that? There doesn't seem to be one around." Raoul was attempting to look vaguely innocent, but failed miserably.  
  
"She left a note you know," Audrie's face was one of severest annoyance. "If taking a walk is that important to you, you should have said." "It's a delicate subject I wanted to talk about."  
  
"I'm not good with delicate subjects. I tend to break them." Then it hit Audrie. "Did you, um, use those exact words when speaking to the servant?"  
  
"Yes. Why."  
  
Audrie's face turned a faint pink. "Well, she took it the wrong way. I wouldn't use such wording with her if I was you."  
  
"What do you mean, 'took it the wrong way'?" Raoul looked at her warily.  
  
"Well, she thought you meant...mumblemumblemumble..."  
  
"Hm? I don't think I heard you." Raoul's face was one of confusion, but Audrie had a suspicion that he was actually enjoying this.  
  
"SHE THOUGHT...mumblemumblemumble..."  
  
"I missed it again." Audrie could have sworn he was forcing a solemn face.  
  
"SHE THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO ASK ME A QUESTION." Audrie's face was bright red.  
  
"Well, yes. I was wondering if you cared to go on a walk."  
  
"I answered that earlier. And that wasn't the sort of question she meant."  
  
"Hm, would you like to go right now?" Raoul ignored the second half of the question entirely.  
  
Audrie resigned once more and nodded, almost grateful for the excuse to not entirely explain what Sarri had thought. Raoul held up his arm for Audrie to place her own on, but she deftly ignored it and swept out of the room with all the grace she could manage.  
  
Fresh snow crunched beneath their feet as they walked in silence together, and Audrie didn't bother to ask where the others were, though she wondered, particularly since half the reason he had said they should go on a walk was because the others of his usual group had been wanting to talk to her in a less stiff atmosphere than the balls.  
  
As they strolled, Raoul finally managed to bring up some sort of conversation. "What do you plan to do after the midwinter balls end?"  
  
The question hung in the air icily for several moments before Audrie answered lightly, "Go home, I suppose. To my fief."  
  
"You won't be staying? Other ladies from the convent will be." "Yes, well, I have obligations."  
  
Audrie thought of returning to the Dancing Doves, to working as a waitress and having so much more freedom. No more corsets, no more tiny shoes, no more stiff manners and dances. No more long strolls in the snow showing knights that women had intelligence as well, no more teaching boring court ladies to think for themselves. No more sneaking into rooms and playing malicious pranks. Well, maybe some of those still.  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Well, I, um, that is..." It struck Audrie that noble women weren't supposed to have any obligations other than to marry and be a good wife and mother. And she wasn't planing any of those any time soon. "Well, my father died." She certainly pulled that out of thin air. "And I'll have to take care of the fief."  
  
"Wasn't it burned down months ago?"  
  
"Well, that is, my father died in the fire." That worked.  
  
"No one died though."  
  
"Of course, he died during the fire, not actually in it, that is. He, um, died of consumption in his room while everyone was escaping."  
  
Raoul gave her a Look, but said nothing. A few moments passed.  
  
"I suppose you'll have to marry then."  
  
"What? When was that mentioned?"  
  
"A noblewoman can't run a fief. You'll have to marry."  
  
"I can run that fief perfectly fine, thank you very much. I don't need any nobleman to do it for me."  
  
"But there's a law..." Audrie's icy-look-of-death forced Raoul into silence.  
  
Silence predominated the walk from there on out, and as soon as they had come back to the palace doors Audrie insisted upon showing herself to her rooms without Raoul.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
As soon as Audrie returned to her rooms she found Sarri sitting expectantly, waiting for Audrie to burst into squeals of joy at being proposed to. Disappointment fell onto her face as she saw Audrie's grim expression.  
  
"He didn't ask, m'lady?"  
  
Audrie directed her icy-look-of-death towards Sarri. "I never expected him to."  
  
Discomfort engulfed Sarri, but curiosity won over. "Why then, m'lady, are you so unhappy?"  
  
The was an uncomfortable silence. "Nothing important to you."  
  
Sarri merely nodded and, trembling, left the room.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Audrie walked down the hall in something of a moody silence, ignoring Roger's attempts to walk her to the dining hall. As she neared her seating place, she spotted Raoul heading towards her.  
  
"Lady Audrelinia..." Raoul began, but before Raoul could even begin to say anything Audrie had swept past him in an icy silence. He stared for a few moments and then sighed and went to his designated seat.  
  
As soon as Audrie had sat down, she instantly wished she hadn't sat down at all. Across from her was the prince and several others that were seemingly important. On one side of her sat the king and queen of Tusaine, on the other side, their daughter. All thoughts of asking the daughter's age fled as she stood up and promptly left the hall.  
  
Twenty minutes passed before Audrie's stomach decide to hijack her brain. 'I'm more important than you,' was its logic (AN: This often happens during tests of sorts, where, during the math final, you promptly answer everything with 'double cheeseburger and large fries', and so on). But her stomach insisted that it had as much honor, or at least vague dignity, as to refuse to return to the dining hall. 'Let's go to the kitchen' it insisted, 'besides, you get better food there. It's still warm and such.'  
  
Returning to her room, Audrie changed her appearance to her thief outfit. She didn't bother to take the corset off though, assuming that she would be able to get it on by herself, and would barely have enough time to change back into a dress before the ball as it was.  
  
Audrie used the secret passage to get into the kitchen, though in all of the chaos, she wondered if anyone would have noticed if she had just walked right in and ordered her food that way. Nimbly taking a bowl of soup from a passing squire, who didn't notice at all, Audrie slunk back into the shadows of the pantry to eat. Closing the door quietly, she laughed silently at how she had literally hidden herself in daylight, so obviously not trying to hide herself that she was hidden.  
  
She had been eating the soup silently when she heard a slam against the pantry door and angry voices outside. One of them she recognized to be of the page she had trained while in Naren, Torran. He seemed to be the one slammed against the door.  
  
"You think you're so great at knife fighting?" A voice hissed at Torran.  
  
"I only think I'm better than you, not the best. That goes to my teacher." Audrie heard Torran reply calmly. A hint of pride at his comment about her was edged with slight annoyance at his freeness at referencing her.  
  
"You were taught by a commoner." Sneered another voice, accenting the word 'commoner' as though it was something equivalent to 'slug'. "You won't have much ability then. Meet us out at the practice fields in twenty minutes and prove you're so great, oh Sir 'Taught by the Greatest Thief There Ever Lived'. Besides, I learned a few things from a thief, as well. Right proper thief he was, too. Not some silly 'Spades,' a real fighter."  
  
"You just blackmailed him into it!" Torran's voice rose into the anger that Audrie had felt when Torran had first told her he had been taught to fight by a thief.  
  
"'Course, no other way to get 'em to teach you. Only thief that'd agree to teach you any other way would have to be a pretty pathetic- or poor- thief." The voices faded off into the din of the kitchen, and Audrie heard Torran sigh in relief and leave.  
  
Audrie was annoyed at the way the other boys had spoken about commoners, and her pride of having taught Torran all of what he knew about knife- fighting urged her to follow him. After waiting several minutes just to make sure he really had left, Audrie confidently walked out of the pantry and, except for a few odd looks from a page, who shook his head confusedly, walked out of the kitchen unnoticed.  
  
Audrie silently walked out onto the grass of the practice fields, and noticed that the moonlight was all that the two pages had to fight by. 'That's a proper fight, not with spectators and a point system or anything. A fight you could use on the streets and everyday, without the perfect conditions they have at the indoor fighting courts. Dew-damp grass perfect to slip and break a wrist on, bad light to see by, it was much easier to get injured during a fight like this if you didn't watch both the opponent and your step.' She thought, and smiled, reminiscing on fights she'd had like this one.  
  
She saw that there was in fact a total of four boys including Torran, and wondered whether he was being daft enough to actually try to take them all on at once. She had taught him everything he knew, but he didn't know all that much.  
  
Standing in the shadow of a building, Audrie watched as Torran and one of the boys seperated themselves from the other two and set off with a proper 'One, two' and slashed at each other before the other could count to three. It was never right to actually start at three.  
  
After a few minutes of watching, Audrie noticed that Torran wasn't doing as fabulously as he should have been. Walking over to stand next to the two boys that were watching she commented, in a casual tone, "Tsk, that blow must've hurt."  
  
"Yeah." Replied one, not taking his eyes off the two fighters, "Leon likes to hit where it hurts." "And look at that," She said in a chastising tone, "The daft boy's playing by the rules. That's against the rules, that is."  
  
The two boys merely nodded, apparently not having noticed that she was actually there.  
  
"Yeah," Said the second one, "He's got this weird idea 'bout having honor and that business."  
  
"Now, I know it wasn't ME who taught him that. I always told him that in a fight, honor isn't worth everything people says it is."  
  
A moment passed before the comment was computed by the two boys' brains. Then, in unison, they looked to their fellow commentator.  
  
"Wh-who're you?" The first one asked, his voice now somewhat weak.  
  
"Who do you think I am?"  
  
"You know Torran...?"  
  
"Sure I know him. He's a great boy, though a bit airy at times. Least ways, back when I knew him better."  
  
"Yah, real nice."  
  
Though it was too dark to properly see her 'icy-look-of-death,' it was obvious she was giving it to them, by the tone of her voice. "Oh really? And here I was under the impression you disliked him."  
  
"N-not particularly." It was the first boy, who Audrie know recognized to be the first voice to speak to Torran while she was in the pantry. "I mean, that is, 's not really us that hate 'im. J-just Leon."  
  
"Leon, is it? I'm also under the impression he thinks I'm not a talented fighter. I'll have to speak to him about it."  
  
Before the two boys could stop her, Audrie marched over to Torran and Leon, who were now wrestling, knives still in their hands. Looking down at them, she promptly kicked them both in very sensitive spots.  
  
"Get up, brats." She nudged Torran with her boot, who was huddled on the ground in a fetal position in pain.  
  
"You didn't have to kick that hard!" Torran retorted through gritted teeth.  
  
"I'm devastated. Up. Now." She stopped nudging Torran to go over the Leon, and started nudging him a bit harder than Torran. Some might've called her nudged a stiff kicking, but Audrie always really considered it to be nudging. "I have a bone to pick with you."  
  
The two boys struggled to their feet, both surprised to see Audrie appear at random, though Torran appeared less surprised than Leon.  
  
"What're you doing here, Spades?" He grinned, and received a thin smile in return.  
  
"Proving a point." Audrie briskly nodded towards Leon. "I believe you have something you shouldn't."  
  
"I don't have anything right now. Except the knife, but if you think it's not good 'n' allowed to have a knife during a fight, you're wrong lady."  
  
"No, knives are perfectly allowed. I'm partial to them myself. I was referring, rather, to you dignity. Simply shouldn't have any, if you ask me. But I'll lend you a favor, and go ahead and strip you of it. And if you have any left after that, we'll strip you and send you into the dining hall."  
  
It suddenly dawned on Leon that he was speaking to the thief that Torran claimed to be his teacher. "You're a lady!"  
  
"Never been a lady in my life, never plan to. I'm female, though, if that's what you're talking about."  
  
"What's your deal about stripping me of my dignity? The fight's not over, wench."  
  
Audrie sighed. "The fight's long over, but a new one's just beginning. She took Torran's knife and pointed it towards Leon in what she felt was vaguely over dramatic but seemed appropriate. "Only this time it's not with the student, but with the teacher."  
  
"I'm not some fool. I don't need to fight a woman to know I'm better than her."  
  
Audrie smiled maliciously and took a step towards him. "May I suggest, Little Boy, that if you're afraid of fighting, you not anger those with real talent. Of course, it's a bit late now." She lunged forward and cut a thin line across his neck, and without even the 'one, two' the fight was one.  
  
Slashes flurried through the air as Leon dodged, lunged and block while Audrie grinned and attacked consistently, with an occasional movement to the side to avoid a knife. The slightly sadistic glint in her eye had stayed there from the minute the fight began, and it gave Leon the feeling that she knew something that he should, if he wanted to live much longer.  
  
"You're too consistent in your attacks. Lunge, lunge, lunge, that's all you ever do." Audrie slashed across and ripped his shirt, barely missing ripping his flesh along with it. Then suddenly he grin and swooped under, and grabbed her by the shoulders. She was jerked violently so that they had traded places and he slammed her against the oak tree that she just realized to be there.  
  
"I don't only lunge, lady." He grinned, and a certain silence fell over the area as she looked at him emotionlessly. "I was thinking that, since we're here, maybe I could just have some... fun."  
  
He grinned and silently took her knife out of her hands. One hand pressing her against the tree, his other hand began to wander. Then he noticed that the glint, that evil glint, was still in her eye. In a flash of movement she ducked down, his palm smashing into the oak where she was a split second ago, and ran between his legs, making sure to elbow him in the groin as she went past.  
  
Turning around, she saw Leon turn to face her, his face twisted in pain. "You hit below the belt!"  
  
"No rule that you can't." She said conversationally, "Besides, who follows the rules? Either way, I have nothing below the belt for you to hit, so it doesn't make much of a difference to me."  
  
Leon sneered, but it flashed into a grin as a thought struck him. "You don't have a knife. I still do."  
  
Audrie sighed. "Having a knife isn't everything, you know." In a flash of speed and grace of a cat, she drew three knives from her boot and threw them with unerring aim at Leon, pinning him to the tree. "But they always help, don't they."  
  
Walking up to him, she pulled a fourth knife from her sleeve and pressed it to his throat. The gleam had never left her eye, and the mask of emotionlessness chilled Leon to the bone.  
  
"You know," Audrie said, her voice icy, "I've always noticed that men who get on my bad side never stay on my bad side for very long."  
  
Leon leered. "You women always forgive easily."  
  
"I was leaning more towards the idea that they don't live long enough to stay on my bad side."  
  
Leon paled. "If I die, people will notice. You'll be suspected."  
  
"People will notice, surely, And judging from your personality, rejoice at your death. I wouldn't be surprised if they held an extra ball, just to celebrate your death." Audrie sighed. "Of course, you already have enough of those, so why don't we just, say, let you off, for today?"  
  
Leon grinned. "Course you will, lady."  
  
"For a fine."  
  
The grin fell. "I don't have anything you want."  
  
"Course you don't, I've taken it all already. By the way," Audrie's voice was covered in honey as she brought up a ring that had been on his finger. "I do so love the make of this ring. Where did you buy it?"  
  
"It was my mother's." Leon's Adams apple bobbed slightly. "She'd kill me if I lost it."  
  
"I'll inform her that you dropped it down the drain."  
  
"You don't know her, you don't even know my fief."  
  
"No," Audrie grinned, "But I can find out. And that's not the worst I have planned for you."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Audrie changed swiftly from her thief outfit to her court dress for the ball, which started in twenty minutes. Feeling vaguely refreshed at having gotten some proper exercise, She nearly bounced out of her room, sandy curls flopping.  
  
"You can't do that!" Wailed a voice from behind her, "It's not fair!"  
  
"Now when was fairness ever entertaining." She smiled evilly.  
  
"That's cruel, that is." Leon protested.  
  
"You have no say in the matter. I for one think that taking the blame for the prank with Roger is a far worse part of the punishment. "  
  
"But telling my mother I need a good lecture on women?! You don't know her! She can talk for hours on that sort of thing!"  
  
"Well then you'll simply have to listen. I'll be sure to ask her to make the speech particularly long. And if you don't come back having proper respect for women - and I'll be sure to check- you'll be in sore trouble. I have far worse, more physical punishments for people who don't do as I say.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Audrie entered the usual humdrum of the ball and trailed over to the usual group of knights, including Gary, Raoul, Alex, Squire Alan and, after some time, the prince. She nodded and smiled, to each of them, praying they would accept that instead of a curtsey. They seemed to understand her loathing of curtseys and didn't comment.  
  
Raoul gave her an odd look, not understanding what had caused the sudden change from cold to cheerful. Audrie pretended not to notice.  
  
"My lady," Jonathan walked over to her with a concerned look, " We were worried when you did not dine with us."  
  
'That's the trouble with royalty' thought Audrie, 'You never knew when 'we' referred to just them or an actual group. Despite this thought, Audrie replied calmly, "I was not feeling at all well, your highness. I ate soup in my rooms."  
  
"You were sick?" A voice that sent chills down Audrie's back popped up behind her. "I hope you are feeling better now, for I would ask this dance of you."  
  
"Already taken, sorry." Audrie gripped Raoul by the arm and dragged him off to the dance floor.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Returning from the ball, Audrie dumped her stash in the closet with the rest. Switching back into her thief outfit, she set out for the night, reminding herself to skip Raoul's rooms. She didn't feel like nearly killing herself jumping off towers again.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Author's notes: There's always more of 'em. You know, each chapter gets longer than the one before... Actually, the word count is about the same (4,500?!), but oh well. By the by, seven reviews till the 150th reviewer (I feel so loved!). And that person gets to pick the pairing. Just hope that whoever it is shares pairing preferences with you. Also, if I get enough requests I'll write Alternate Endings and such. And perhaps (if I'm feeling benevolent at the end of this) I'll write a continuation. Or maybe not. I hear unintended continuations never work out. Plus, I'll have run out of decent disclaimers. And you know how terrible THAT would be. 


	17. I Hate Chapter Titles Chapter

Disclaimer: There's a black hole in my closet. Not only has it stolen all of my socks, but it's also taken all of my legal rights to owning anything that I don't legally own. Who would've thought?  
  
Author's Notes (VERY IMPORTANT): I feel so loved! 158 reviews total! I've received 14 for this chapter alone! Yay!! Also, I should make treanz-alyce aware of the fact that she was -yatadataaa!- the 150th reviewer! She gets the lovely offer of picking the final pairing. And if she doesn't want to, the honor can go to (MWAHAHAHAHA!) the 175th reviewer! Everyone would like that, wouldn't they?  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Audrie woke to the bright and chipper face of... Jered? Poking her in the shoulder was an overly cheerful friend who, in Audrie's opinion, ought to be wiped off the face of the world at this time in the morning.  
  
"What," Audrie snapped, sitting up, "Are you doing here?"  
  
"Poking you."  
  
"No really? I couldn't tell." Audrie flicked him in the forehead in a slightly less than affectionate way. "Now what are you actually doing here?"  
  
"Probably getting on your nerves."  
  
"Jered, if you want to avoid an extremely painful and gruesome death, I recommend you Get To The Point." At this point, Jered was tempted to reply with another annoying comment but the look in Audrie's eye told him it would be wise not to. The knife pointing at his throat probably helped some, too.  
  
"Well, we have some planning to do."  
  
"We?"  
  
"You, George and I do, at least. Involving tomorrow. It being your last day here and all."  
  
"Oh, yeah." Audrie's eyes drifted down to the floor with a slight melancholy. "I guess it is."  
  
"You're not actually sad about that, are you?" Jered grinned at her incredulously.  
  
"Of course not!" She snapped, shooting Jered an annoyed look. "I'll just miss the edible food, that's all."  
  
"Ah." Jered rolled his eyes.  
  
"What are these plans anyway?"  
  
A sadistic grin danced onto Jered's face. " I have a gift for you."  
  
"I'm touched. Not." Audrie stuck her tongue out at Jered. "What's that got to do with planning my escape and such?"  
  
Jered pulled a black silk dress out of his pack and handed it to Audrie. "You'll see. Look at it after I'm gone, okay?"  
  
"Why, so I can't strangle you for giving me an incredibly revealing dress?"  
  
"Partly." Jered grin and barely ducked a punch from Audrie. "Let's get started. First off, will you be attending tomorrow night's dance?"  
  
"Of course!" It was Audrie's turn to grin cockily. "I'm not totally unprepared."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Audrie finally managed to cram Jered back into the passageway by the time her stomach was growling in anger and accusing Audrie of malnutrition and abuse. At the instant she was planning to go and demand the court to hold a second breakfast merely for her, lunch was announced. Audrie was about to bounce out of her room and down the hall when Sarri attacked her with a corset.  
  
"M'lady, you still have to prepare! You can't leave now! Look at the state of your clothing!" Sarri dragged a protesting Audrie back into the room and started dragging out various dresses to torture Audrie with.  
  
"I'm not wearing a dress that color! It'll make me look like a tomato!"  
  
"But Orange-red would look lovely on you, m'lady."  
  
"Do you think I particularly care? And the feathers on it will be the laughing stock of the court!"  
  
"But, m'lady, tonight is a masked ball. Think of the opportunities of hiding your face behind a seductive feathered mask!"  
  
"Mask? Sure. Feathered? No. I have this strange thing called dignity."  
  
"What about..." Sarri sifted through the various dresses. "This one?" Sarri held up a soft pink dress with so many frills Audrie doubted whether she'd be able to walk without tripping on something, let alone dance.  
  
"If you want to kill me, sure that'd work. Just give me some stairs and I'd be gone to the Goddess in seconds."  
  
"This?" Audrie looked at it skeptically. "Am I actually expected to be able to put that on? The wait is so tiny you wouldn't be able to fit it over my head."  
  
Finally, in desperation, Sarri held up a white silk dress, that had a graceful simpleness to it. "M'lady?"  
  
Audrie looked as though she wanted to refuse merely to spite Sarri but actually liked the dress. "I suppose it will do." She finally replied.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
By the time Audrie had prepared herself to actually leave the room, her stomach was complaining so loudly she received several odd looks as she stomped down to the kitchens to demand something to eat.  
  
As she was nearly to the kitchens, she noticed Raoul, Squire Alan, the Prince, Gary, Alex and, much to Audrie's usual displeasure, Delia, all standing as a group staring out the window. As she passed by, Gary called out to her.  
  
"Lady Audrelinia! It's been such a long time. Come, talk with us."Gary grinned and waved her over.  
  
"Sir Gareth," Audrie replied icily, raising a sarcastic eyebrow, "You saw me last night."  
  
"And to some that is a lifetime."  
  
"To the mayfly, perhaps." Audrie glanced to the kitchens and her stomach nodded approvingly metaphorically. Then she headed over to the group.  
  
"We were just discussing the Ace of Sp-"  
  
"Just remembered, got to eat lunch, quite busy, yes yes." Audrie nodded and tried to escape by walking off.  
  
"Wait," Raoul grabbed her by the hand, "Why're you leaving?"  
  
Audrie's stomach growled loudly, seemingly towards Raoul. "I'm very hungry. I missed breakfast and lunch, you see. I've got to request to the kitchens to prepare me something."  
  
"Why'd you miss the meals?" Alex spoke up from his nonexistent dark corner that he had formed around himself despite the fact the only corner was twenty feet away (AN: Don't YOU always imagine him standing in a dark corner? I do.) .  
  
"Busy preparing for the ball, of course." Audrie brushed the slight suspicion away lightly. "It's a masked ball, you know. Had to pick out the perfect mask and such."  
  
"Oh? So we'll be seeing you there tonight?"  
  
"If you see me, you see me. If you don't, you don't." Audrie raised an eyebrow and smiled mysteriously. Then she whisked away from the group and hoped to the Goddess that they would notice the graceful exit rather than the fact she was heading directly for the kitchens.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
As Audrie was changing into the white dress, she decided to do something on a whim. Taking off the curly brown hair attachments, she sifted through one of her suitcases for some of her extra hair attachments. Picking out a light airy white-blond, she changed her hair to match it and gave herself long, graceful hair down to her waist and changed her eyes to a crystal blue to match the hair. Picking out a small glass tiara, Audrie placed it on her head with a satisfied smile.  
  
"They'll see me, but they won't know me, that's for certain." Deep down, Audrie knew they would wonder where she had been. But tonight, Audrie's little girl in her wanted her to be a princess.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Holding up her jeweled white mask, Lady 'Odette' smiled softly, a nostalgic and sad look in her eyes. Nearly automatically Audrie headed over to Raoul and the other knights, but realized the most expected thing to do would be to go and see the king and queen, neither of whom wore a mask, first. Walking over to them, she dipped as low as she deemed physically possible. She prided herself on the entire lack of a wobble, but realized it was probably dumb luck and decided not to try it again.  
  
"You majesties," Audrie smiled and cast her eyes down, but did not remove her mask. "It is a lovely ball I witness tonight. Your kindness to you guests is indeed flattering."  
  
"How kind of you to say so." The queen smiled kindly, and Audrie nearly felt it was an authentic smile but reeled herself back with the reality that the queen wouldn't be so sweet.  
  
"I haven't introduced myself. I'm terribly sorry." Audrie nodded to the prince as he joined the group, "I am Odet, of the fief Griffin's Nest." Did such a fief even exist? Audrie wondered, yet the king and queen simply nodded knowingly, enforcing Audrie conviction that they had no idea about actually running the country.  
  
"Yes, it is a pleasure to meet you. Your fief is so far off, we have not heard news from you for months. How is your fief?" The king nodded and Audrie realized there actually was a fief by that name.  
  
"It's perfectly fine. We've just been extremely busy."  
  
"Of course." The queen assured her and then gestured to the prince, who also wore a mask. "Lady Odette, this is Prince Jonathan. Prince Jonathan, Lady Odette."  
  
Audrie swept another curtsey but didn't risk it being as low as the one before. "It's an honor for one such as myself to meet the royal family."  
  
"I don't suppose you to have met?" The queen looked to Jon with an inquisitive look that, had it not been royalty, Audrie would have taken to be a nosy mother's silent expecting of all information about a son's personal life.  
  
"I would have told you if I had yet met such a lovely lady in court."Jon smiled at Audrie with what Audrie sickeningly recognized to be what was defined as a 'dashing' smile. Audrie never trusted 'dashing' people.  
  
"Indeed, I don't believe I've ever seen you before at all. And I thought I had seen all of the most beautiful ladies in court."  
  
Audrie was squirming on the inside, barely restraining from regurgitating on the floor. "I... Have not been in court for the previous days of the midwinter festivals. I have only tonight to enjoy the balls."  
  
"Then we shall need to assure you have the experience of all of the nights, tonight. You must dance!" Jon grinned and held out his arm to 'Odette'.  
  
Audrie was about to reply 'On my death bed,' when she realized that while Audrie might say this, Princess Odette would love, with all of her dear, sweet heart, to dance with the prince that would rule her country. Taking his hand, Audrie smiled a sweet, sad smile and whispered, "Of course, you highness. I would like nothing better."  
  
At the end of the dance, a chill ran down Audrie spine as she realized that Jon was leading her to Raoul, Gary, Alex, Squire Alan and Delia to apparently introduce her to people she already knew.  
  
"Gary-" Jon suddenly blushed as he realized that Audrie shouldn't be used to such informality among his friends and stopped. "Ah, um, Sirs Gareth, Raoul, Alex and my Squire, Alan. Ah, and Lady Delia. " He indicated each to Audrie as he announced them to her. "Everyone, this is Lady Odette."  
  
A silence greeted her as everyone took in her image. Audrie began to feel uncomfortable under the silence and finally broke away her gaze from the group to stare at a suddenly very interesting tile on the floor and held up a hand to cover the blush that was spreading across her pale face.  
  
The display of embarrassment broke the silence as suddenly Gary smiled and said, "It's a pleasure to meet such a beautiful lady."  
  
Audrie cursed her embarrassment at being looked at by people whom she considered friends. "Certainly you have met ladies far more beautiful than I." She curtseyed but wobbled slightly at the bottom, but prayed no one noticed.  
  
Audrie wanted to grin when she realized the trap she had put the group into. No matter what they said, they'd be saying she was more beautiful than herself, at which she could take the severest offence at, if she felt like it. She was nearly disappointed when Gary instead asked her to dance. Nodding to the group, Audrie left with her arm lightly resting on Gary's arm.  
  
Audrie returned to the group to see a slightly disappointed prince and vaguely aloof Raoul. Raoul seemed determined to ignore her.  
  
Audrie walked over to the knight, who was staring off, as though trying to find someone on the dance floor. She touched him softly on the arm and he nearly jumped in surprise.  
  
"I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to surprise you so." Audrie wanted to talk to Raoul. She smiled weakly.  
  
"No, no, it's all right." Raoul looked off into the crowd and murmured, "Why isn't she here? It was important that-" Suddenly he realized that Audrie was still there. "Oh, sorry, did you want to speak to me?"  
  
"No," Audrie looked down sadly and remembered why she was glad for her normal life. "I don't want to bother you."  
  
Audrie curtseyed and drifted away to find a near legion of men waiting to dance with her. Her stomach wasn't complaining, but she knew her feet would soon be, but her pocket book wouldn't be. At that thought, Audrie forced a sweet, calm smile and took the arm of the first man.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
After Audrie had been dancing nearly non-stop for two hours, the ball was soon coming to an end. She at last found herself able to rest for a brief period of time and discovered she had wound up standing next to the princess of Tusaine. Turning to the girl, who appeared to be 16, Audrie curtseyed.  
  
"Your highness," Audrie looked down only briefly.  
  
"Ah?" The girl looked up from a book that had been hidden discreetly among her skirts.  
  
"What were you reading?" Audrie cocked her head slightly and smiled warmly.  
  
"Oh..." The girl seemed to hesitate, "Nothing particularly... ladylike. You wouldn't enjoy."  
  
"Perhaps I wouldn't. I'd still care to know though." "It's about the care for a falcon."  
  
"Oh my," Audrie brought a hand to her lips in false shock, "I've always heard that falcons can be vicious."  
  
"Well, not really. Not if you train them. That's what I-" The Princess suddenly cut herself off, for parents' abilities to give a disapproving looks have a large range that can last miles if the stare is strong enough.  
  
Audrie decided to switch tactics. "I always thought the eldest daughter of the Tusaine royal family was eighteen, not sixteen."  
  
"Where did you hear that?" The girl's asked sharply.  
  
"From many people, particularly in letters from friends in Tusaine. Of course, that was years ago, but it still seems as though you should be older."  
  
"My elder sister died years ago."  
  
Audrie's face showed extreme shock. "I- I'm so sorry. I didn't know- I didn't mean to bring up anything painful. Forgive me."  
  
The girl's voice softened. "It's not your fault. I was only three. I hardly remember her. But I was always told by the servants what a wonderful girl she was. Strong willed, but sweet. Though my parents never speak of her."  
  
"I'm sorry. It's hard to lose a family member."  
  
Suddenly a young man came up to Audrie and asked 'Odette' to dance and ended her conversation with the Tusaine princess.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Audrie walked out of the ballroom with a vague sadness, despite the fact that she had been one of the most popular ladies in court for the night. But as she entered her room, she reminded herself that that was why she had left home. To escape everything like that. One night of dancing was sort of nice though.  
  
"Damn nostalgia." Audrie muttered as she threw off her dress. Sarri popped up, the way she normally did- rather eerily appearing out of no where- and began helping Audrie take of the corset.  
  
Audrie changed into her spades outfit and took off her hair attachments. 'No more girlish dream,' Audrie grinned as she pulled her hair into a stiff ponytail at the base of her neck, 'It's time to go back to work.'  
  
Audrie waited around until the point in time where she thought everyone would be asleep and then left her room.  
  
Audrie headed over to the prince's room and was about to take a few rings from on his desk when she spotted who was in the bed with him. Originally she had thought it to be Delia, yet she nearly jumped in surprise when she saw it had red hair. Upon closer inspection she realized it to be Squire Alan, which made her wonder about the prince's choice in company in bed. Then she realized that the Squire was, in fact, female.  
  
"No wonder h-she wasn't surprised when she found out I wasn't a lady. She's obviously used to having to change her appearance and act as someone else entirely." Audrie whispered, and smirked slightly. It would be entertaining to see how they acted tomorrow, and Audrie would look at 'Alan' a bit differently.  
  
Audrie had made the usual rounds when she came to the Page quarters to see if they had anything worth taking. She was in a room where a young page had fallen asleep at his desk, working on math figures, when he suddenly returned back to a state of conciousness.  
  
"Spades?"  
  
"Does no one actually fall asleep at their desks anymore?!" Audrie ranted, "Can't I get in some decent thieving without people popping back to life randomly and deciding to interrogate me on what I am doing in their room, which is not really any of their proper business?! Can't there just be some honest stealing around this castle, where I'm not constantly pestered with questions?! Is there no law that protects thieves from this sort of thing?!"  
  
"Uh. Not really, Spades."  
  
"And why does everyone suddenly appear to know my name?!"  
  
"Maybe because I know you?"  
  
"And they all assume that stealing's something personal! What convinced nobles that thieves actually cared what happened to the- the- thieve-ees, or whatever you call them?!"  
  
"No, really. It's me, Torran."  
  
"And they all just- oh. Oh, sorry about that. Didn't mean to, uh... yeah. Sorry."  
  
"I'm awake because I figured you'd come around one of these nights, and I've been wanting to talk to you."  
  
"About what?"  
  
"The fight last night."  
  
"Yes?" Audrie arched an eyebrow neatly.  
  
"Well, thanks. I don't think I could have beaten him."  
  
"Obviously. You've been slacking off, haven't you." It wasn't even a question.  
  
"Yes, well..."  
  
"Yes, well."Audrie replied calmly. "See you tomorrow night. You'll be staying up extra late, to run those extra miles the instructor order you to run, won't you." Again, not a question. Audrie was nearly enjoying not making these questions. Or, at least, the author was, because it takes less effort for her to write a period than a question mark, and the author is feeling lazy and it is late.  
  
"The instructor never said anything like that!"  
  
Audrie grinned evilly. "Oh yes he did." Audrie gave him a look that said, 'and if you're not there you'll be severely sorry.'  
  
"Oh..." A look of enlightenment came onto Torran's face "Okay, I'll be there tomorrow night to start my training again."  
  
"Never said that," Audrie hit him over the head lightly, "But since you mention that, you obviously realize that you're pathetically out of shape, and it's a shame to my name to have someone as incapable as that claiming to be taught by me. I'll simply have to get you in shape again."  
  
This was the way the training had begun in the first place; it was never actually official, just a silent agreement that 'Torran had better get his butt in gear and Audrie would be the one to kick it to get it there.'  
  
Audrie nodded curtly and left the room with a vague satisfaction. She didn't realize how much she had actually missed the boy.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Audrie curled up into her warm bed the comforting thought that tomorrow would be the last day of any more dancing, and it would certainly be an entertaining day.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Author's Notes: I know this chapter was a tad bit shorter than the others. But remember tomorrow is the Last Official Day. The final pairing may not be announced until actually after the Last Official Day, and I'm not sure how many chapters the Last Official Day will take, since it's Very Important (notice all the caps, that may be a clue). AND TREANZ-ALYCE, GET YOUR BUTT IN GEAR AND TELL ME WHAT PAIRING YOU WANT OR YOU WILL BE IGNORED AND I WILL LET SOMEONE ELSE PICK THE PAIRING. I hope she reads author's notes. If she doesn't, she'll be severely disappointed. Maybe I'll pick my favorite reviewer (translation: Be really nice, write long reviews and tell me I'm the best writer in the world). I can't wait. 


	18. The Second To Last Or Third, Depending C...

Disclaimer: If I had anything to own, no doubt I'd be taxed for it and have 50% of it taken away anyway, so why bother owning anything? (I'm currently very bitter about taxes)  
  
Author's Notes: SOB!! Only nine reviews?! Okay, maybe I was getting a bit spoiled, but after twelve and the fourteen reviews, I was expecting a bit more of a turnout. PLUS I said to be really nice in these reviews ('specially since it's the last couple chapters) but everybody was really mean! I was threatened with horrible punishments including severe bodily injury and no more reviews! That's author abuse, that is! Also, treanz- alyce picked and chose Audrie/Raoul, so I think it's wrong that fortunecookie will from here on out refuse to review because I had no choice in the matter. She can't blame me and stop reviewing. Actually I'm feeling particularly cocky right now because the entire reason why I created the contest was NOT, as most think no doubt, to attract more reviewers but actually to have it that they couldn't get angry at me for not giving them the pairing they wanted. And no pouting in the next reviews because, frankly, I don't care. Of course, any propositions of alternate endings will be considered. MWAHAHA!!  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Audrie awoke to realize that she hadn't changed back into her court appearance. Cursing, she switched her hair back to its usual appearance as fast as possible, in the hope that no one would decide to walk in on her at this moment.  
  
Sitting in front of the mirror, Audrie spotted Sarri's reflection flitting about the room, taking things out of their usual places."What are you doing?" She snapped.  
  
"Just collecting things. Today's your last day after all."  
  
"Oh, yes, of course. I'd forgotten." Audrie fitted her hair into a loose bun and turned around to see Jered standing behind her.  
  
"Tsk, your hair looks as though a bird nested in it." At Audrie's look he paused. "I take it back, it doesn't look as though a bird nested." Audrie's look softened, "It looks like a flamingo nested in it." Audrie hoped his face didn't survive the meeting with her brush.  
  
"Just get to work."  
  
Jered grinned and pulled Audrie up into his arms. "Today isn't just a day for work, miss Never-takes-a-break."  
  
"I take plenty of days off." Audrie glared, "Why, I took one just..." A look of realization crossed Audrie's face. "Uh, nearly two weeks ago, I guess."  
  
"See?" Jered dumped Audrie on the bed and sat down next to her. "You need to rest. Just let Sarri and me take care of this."  
  
"Like a rat's ass I'll do that." Audrie got up and started collecting things about the room. "I'm not some noble who'll order people to do their bidding and just watch while the work is done."  
  
Jered walked into the closet and, much to Audrie's annoyance, revealed a quite convenient passageway that was just a small doorway. "It leads into a tunnel that goes into the woods. It'll work wonderfully for transporting everything."  
  
"You mean," Audrie's eye tick appeared once more, "That I've been cramming myself into that little passageway for THREE WEEKS and there was one in the closet?"  
  
Several moments passed because Jered couldn't speak due to Audrie shaking him violently. "You mean you didn't know about it?" He asked innocently.  
  
"You knew I didn't know about it, you little..." A nasty glare silenced Jered's reply.  
  
"Well, let's at least get to work on emptying this room of everything of any value." Jered took a sack he had brought and started taking the sheets off the bed. Apparently he really had meant 'anything of value'. "Did you look at the dress I gave you?"  
  
"Ah..." Audrie had forgotten about it entirely, "Haven't gotten to it yet. I've been so busy."  
  
"Oh." Jered's voice fell slightly. "Well, you can look at it right now then, if you want."  
  
"Uh, sure." Audrie took the folded black cloth off the desk, where it had been laid, forgotten.  
  
"You can even try it on right now."  
  
This received a nasty look from Audrie. "Fat chance, I know what you mean by that."  
  
"Never hurts to ask, does it?"  
  
"It can, Jered, if it's me you're asking." Audrie unfolded the dress and a slightly evil smile spread on her face. "Well, this will help get my point across tonight."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Audrie ate breakfast and lunch in her room and refused to leave her rooms with the excuse of 'It's the last night of the ball and you expect me to go outside with only nine hours of preparation?!' This received understanding nods from most.  
  
At last, at dinner, Audrie left her rooms. She entered the dining hall in the soft silk dress, knowing in a very comforting way that there was no trace of her left in her rooms, especially since there was absolutely nothing left in there. They had disassembled the furniture.  
  
Audrie found herself sitting next to several knights and ladies, along with a particularly weedy little man who looked as though he hadn't had a bath in months yet had the air of confidence that most romantic adventurers had.  
  
"I don't believe I've had the honor of meeting you, sir...?" Audrie looked inquiringly towards the little man, trying to convince herself she had seen worse in the dark corners of the Dancing Dove.  
  
"Not a sir," Replied the man, "Oh dear me, no. I'm the seating arranger. Wilikins."  
  
Audrie restrained her hands from strangling him, as she imagined that the nobles wouldn't be thrilled if she killed their seating arranger. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I don't suppose," Audrie smiled with a sick sweetness, "I could meet you after the ball tonight? It's a matter of utmost importance."  
  
"Such that you can't speak of it here?" A dawn of enlightenment stumbled onto the man's face. "Of course, of course. I understand perfectly." He smiled an oily smile. Everything about him seemed oily.  
  
Audrie what sort of enlightenment had come upon Wilikins, but decided not to ask, for fear that it would be something that would be the contents of his dreams and her worst nightmares. She was tempted to cancel the appointment at that very instant, but the fact that they were serving ginger with the dinner was too tempting.  
  
Dinner was definitely not one of Audrie's favorites. Wilikins continued to be convinced that Audrie was actually interested in him and spoke to her constantly about himself throughout the entire dinner, though Audrie only replied with a noncommital "Hmm..." . At last dinner ended as Audrie remembered that she wouldn't be at the palace after dinner no matter what so she had endured dinner for absolutely no reason. Before she could cancel her talk with Wilikins he had dashed off with an oily wink to her. A chill ran down her spine.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Audrie entered the ballroom to find her usual group of friends looking for someone. Only Raoul, Alan and Jonathon seemed uninterested, though the latter two were more interested in each other, in a rather discreet way. Audrie couldn't help but grin at the sight of the two.  
  
"Why's everyone so distracted today?" Audrie smiled at Gary who was looking searchingly at the dance floor.  
  
"Looking for Lady Odette." Gary mumbled. Audrie could've kicked him in a very sensitive spot for that.  
  
"She's gone, didn't you know?" Audrie snapped. "Left last night. She was only here for one night." 'Obviously they like Odette better than me. It stands to reason.' At that thought Audrie deflated slightly. Perhaps her friendship with them was only politeness and they really did prefer polite court ladies to her.  
  
"You weren't here last night, how would you know?" Gary continued to stare off.  
  
"Met her in the halls." Audrie replied coldly.  
  
"In fact, no one saw you last night. That's a thin lie, if I may say so, my lady."  
  
Audrie barely kept herself from kneeing him in the groin. "What does it matter to you how I spoke to her?"  
  
"You're not a very good liar, my lady."  
  
"As if you would know!" Audrie exploded, "You don't know anything about me!" She was nearly shouting. "I'm such a damn good liar you don't know a single thing that's the truth about me!"  
  
There was an uncomfortable silence as these words settled on the group.  
  
"We've known you for three weeks," The prince rested a hand on her shoulder, "What haven't you told us?"  
  
"Nothing that is any of your business!" Audrie snapped and stormed off.  
  
No one had noticed Raoul simply staring at Audrie the entire time.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Audrie was staring icily out onto the dance floor from a shady corner when Ballin walked up to her.  
  
"Is my lady in need of a refreshment?" Ballin extended a wine glass to her.  
  
"If you don't leave right now, Ballin, I'll find the most horrible punishment I can think up and try it out on you."  
  
Ballin simply rested against a pillar and smiled, sipping out of the wine glass. "You know, we've really missed you. No," Ballin stopped Audrie from even saying anything, "I know you get angry. I know you, Audrie. But anyone who can't accept that doesn't deserve you. Remember that, please?" Ballin leaned over and kissed a bewildered Audrie on the cheek and left silently.  
  
Audrie sighed and glared in Ballin's general direction.' As if things couldn't get more chaotic,' She thought darkly, 'You had to pop up too.'  
  
In her angry thoughts, Audrie barely noticed that Raoul was heading towards her. It wasn't until he spoke that she jumped up in surprise of seeing him.  
  
"Lady Audrelinia...? Are you alright?"  
  
"What do you think?" Audrie replied bitterly.  
  
"I'm.... not sure." Raoul shrugged an added in a light tone, "Maybe we really don't know anything about you. Every time we ask you something you give us a reply like that, where we use our assumptions to fill in the answer. But that's using knowledge about court ladies, but you're not like most court ladies. So our answers might be wrong."  
  
"Well, fine, I'm not alright." Audrie knew his comment about her replies being ambiguous was true.  
  
"So why aren't you alright?"  
  
Audrie nearly bit her tongue to keep from replying 'Why do you think?' and instead said, "I come up to greet everyone after being sick last night and not seeing them all day and all everyone can think of is Lady Odette. Obviously everyone prefers her proper lady-like personality to me, so why should I tolerate such treatment and be accused of lying and being a bad liar at that?"  
  
There was a long silence as Raoul considered this. "Everyone missed you yesterday."  
  
"Oh right, I'm sure they did." Audrie glared icily at him, "No one even bothered to mention my absence. Sure everyone missed me."  
  
"How would you know whether we mentioned you or not?"  
  
"I have connections."  
  
Audrie expected Raoul to look surprised, but he instead nodded understandingly. "That servant? The one you spoke to about your supposed wine? Or what were you actually talking about?"  
  
"Do you really expect me to tell y-" Audrie cut herself off and tried to give a defined answer, "I don't really think that's any of your business."  
  
"I think it is."  
  
Audrie turned slightly red. "It wasn't anything important. Really."  
  
"He came by several times last night as well. Seemed very interested in Lady Odette. On your orders?"  
  
"I never asked him to follow me around." Audrie snapped bitterly.  
  
"He wasn't following you around. That we know of, that is. Interesting that the one night you weren't at the balls she was."  
  
"Obviously you don't know much about coincidences." Audrie replied stiffly.  
  
"Oh, I do. A thief once told me about them." The comment was almost conversational, yet Audrie understood the underlying reference.  
  
"When did you associate with thieves?"  
  
"I 'associate,' as you call it, quite often with thieves. I know the king of thieves quite well."  
  
"How interesting." Audrie stared off into the distance dryly in the hope that this would cut the conversation off and Raoul would leave.  
  
"Did you know," Raoul did indeed trail off the former subject, "that the very first thing Gary said tonight was, 'I hope Lady Audrelinia comes to the ball tonight, because last night was far less fun without her,'?"  
  
"Is that so?" Audrie's voice remained emotionless, but she felt slightly better about it.  
  
"And everyone agreed with him, that without you, balls are far more boring."  
  
"So glad to see I'm a source of entertainment." Audrie crossed her arms over the silk black dress.  
  
"Would you at least say something?!" Raoul finally snapped in desperation.  
  
"Am I just supposed to say, 'Oh it all makes sense now! Thank you for explaining everything, I'm not angry any more.'? Is that it?"  
  
A brief silence greeted this and then finally, "It would be nice."  
  
"Well..." Audrie stumbled a little bit.  
  
"But I'm guessing you don't really sit well with that?"  
  
"Not really. But it's a little bit like that. I suppose."  
  
Raoul smiled and held out an inviting hand. "Care to dance?"  
  
"Why not." Audrie smiled and took his hand.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Once the dance Audrie walked over to the group with Raoul. While dancing she had noticed that he was carrying a ring in his pocket. Despite, curiosity compelled her to take it. She wondered who had given it to him or worse, who he was planning to give it to.  
  
Giving a weak smile Audrie curtseyed to everyone and said, "I have an apology to make. I needn't have been so rude earlier this evening."  
  
"It's alright." Gary looked away uncomfortably and gave Raoul an incredulous look. After a brief silence he looked back to her and asked, "Do we really know nothing about you? Have you kept that many secrets from us?"  
  
Audrie smiled and everyone expected her to say 'Of course not,' but instead she replied, "More than you could ever guess."  
  
And suddenly the music changed and Audrie grinned devilishly.  
  
Suddenly, lifting up her skirts, Audrie revealed a pair of black, heavy combat boots. Raoul was suddenly very grateful she hadn't stepped on his feet. Also beneath the dress was a pair of black breeches, and for the first time Raoul really took in the dress.  
  
It was a soft silk black, and the skirt had a shorter skirt of draped fabric around the hips. There was a pattern of white glass- not diamonds- on the chest. At that moment Raoul realized the pattern was that of a spade. At this Raoul's stomach sank.  
  
Audrie suddenly began something of a jig, much to everyone's amazement. Everyone stopped dancing and turned to stare at her. She danced over to the king, sitting, her boots pounding against the marble the only sound in the entire hall.  
  
Audrie was laughing as everyone stared in amazement. No one had noticed the interesting change in musicians, and now she had them captivated with her talents with the dancing that she usually did at the dancing dove at a party.  
  
Upon standing next to the king, Audrie's music stopped, and she lifted her foot to rest on the armchair of the king's extremely fine chair. Leaning forward, she grinned maliciously.  
  
"I've never liked royalty." This got an extremely surprised look from the prince. "You're no exception."  
  
Audrie suddenly started unclipping her hair attachments and let them fall to the ground, her hair and eyes quickly changing to their natural colors. She also, in fact, took off the skirt part of her dress, leaving only the cloth draping on her hips, and the rest of her dress was a beautiful silk shirt that proclaimed her identity. She was back in her proper clothes, though much finer than her usual shirt, a shirt and breeches felt much more natural than any dress.  
  
Everyone gasped, not just at the fact she was wearing breeches in court, but because she as a lady had just transformed into someone else entirely.  
  
"I just love a cooperative audience, don't you, your majesty?" Audrie grinned and nudged him in the shoulder with her boot lightly.  
  
"I suppose," Audrie said casually, "You're wondering what the hell I'm doing here. In less vulgare terms of course, since you are, naturally, Nobles. You don't think in those terms do you?"  
  
"I would, indeed, like to know who you are," The king replied dryly, "Although either way you'll be going to the dungeons."  
  
"I just love the way you people think," Audrie replied, smiling, "I'm not going to the dungeons anytime soon. You've got to remember that I've been under your nose for three weeks. Another twenty minutes isn't going to hurt."  
  
"I'm the Ace of Spades, a lowly little thief who's been taking your things without your noticing for the past three weeks- quite at my convenience as well. Oh and by the way, you majesty, I never thought that anyone would need quite such fluffy towels for their baths. A tad bit excessive, don't you think? And did you even notice the missing paintings? Those were worth quite a good bit."  
  
The look on the king's face contented Audrie very much.  
  
"Look, you lot! I've been here for three weeks! I've taken loincloths, I've added in notes to your poems-" (Gary blushed slightly) "- I've stolen have of the jewelry on your persons and you've barely noticed! What does that say about how rich you are? It's disgusting, it is!"  
  
An eerie silence fell upon everyone. Suddenly someone piped up and said, "You're not from Seren, are you?"  
  
"You don't think I'm the daughter of the lord of Seren? I'm wounded that you would doubt my authenticity!" Audrie faked a hurt look and there was a breath of relief from the crowd. "Goddess, you people are morons. Thank goodness I didn't turn out like you." Audrie suddenly turned to the king and queen of Tusaine and waved towards them. "Of course, I could've, if I had stayed at home. Being the Princess of Tusaine can be a pain if you're a bandit though. If I'd stayed with mother and father I would've been just like the rest of you. But I ran away- stole all of the goods in the house too- and I find out that they're claiming I'm dead. So much for caring parents." The stricken look of her younger sister nearly made her smile. "My little sister didn't turn out incredibly bad despite everything, though."  
  
Audrie suddenly spotted a group of burly looking men enter the door. "You know, I had a full fledged dramatic speech planned out for you, but you obviously just won't let me have my fun. I put up with you people for three weeks and you don't even let me have my speech."  
  
Audrie walked out to the center of the dance floor, and everyone seemed to be more than willing to give her a twenty foot radius of frees space. Taking out a deck of cards from a pocket, Audrie smiled sweetly, and Raoul caught a hint of Odette in the smile. "But at least I can have my dramatic exit."  
  
Before the guards had even reached the edge of the people around her, Audrie suddenly flourished the deck into a fountain of cards that obscured her from view. When they had all fallen, she was gone. The Author happens to be a fan of dramatic exits, so sue her.  
  
Raoul simply stared at where Audrie had just been. It occurred to him that while he had suspected Audrie of knowing more about Spades than she would admit, he had never actually thought that she was the thief. A wave of surprise washed over him and he leaned onto a pillar for support.  
  
There was a mass herding of nobles out of the ballroom, as they all went back to their rooms to make sure that nothing had been stolen from them. Of course, they all knew nothing had been stolen from them because they hadn't noticed anything gone. Things such as that simply only happened to other nobles, not them.  
  
Despite the flow of salmon-nobles downstream/ out of the ballroom, Raoul and the others stayed behind. Surprisingly, Lady Selia was there as well. They all eyed each other nervously in silence as they slowly gravitated to the scattered cards in the center of the ballroom. The silence became overpower until Selia finally broke out.  
  
"She seemed nice enough to me. She..." Selia faltered but carried on, "Helped me a lot. Very nice, though rather blunt at times."  
  
"She wasn't the type to beat around the bush about things." Gary nodded contemplatively. "I guess that's what she meant about being such a great liar.  
  
Raoul suddenly noticed that a single card had writing on it. Picking it up from the ground, he realized that there was a ring right next to it. A ring, in fact, that had been in his pocket twenty minutes ago. On the card it said, 'I don't know who you plan to give this to, Raoul, but good luck'. Raoul sighed and pocketed the ring.  
  
They all shared a few anecdotes about 'Lady Audrelinia' when Raoul decided to recount his few encounters with the Ace of Spades. Afterwards, an awkward silence took over the room. Finally the group dispersed to their rooms in a vaguely gloomy silence.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Audrie had just tossed her cards out when she slammed her foot down to open the hidden passage in the floor that gave way with the right pressure. No one, she was confident, would find it. Swiftly clicking the door back into its proper place, Audrie looked down the dark passageway and shivered. Luckily, however, she had planned for a cozy little tunnel like this and brought a torch and a match (AN: I don't particularly care whether they had matches back then, I forgot the name of the two stones you click together to light a fire) and struck the match against her boot. The tiny light danced alone in the cold darkness of the passage way that was beneath the castle. Setting the match to the torch, the tiny flame spread into a warm light that lit the passage for a radius of ten feet around her  
  
Walking down the hallway silently, Audrie passed several doors that led to rooms that hadn't been used for hundreds of years. Originally this passage way had been used to evacuate the castle into the woods if it was under siege, so the passageway was wide as to allow many people to walk at once, rather than try to fit a camel through the eye of a needle. But the castle hadn't been under siege in the years of peace, and the passage had long been forgotten.  
  
Audrie was walking calmly down the halls when she heard a din coming from one of the doors. "Should we warn them about..." "Are you stupid? Our entire point is to steal from them and you want us to go warn them?!"  
  
Creaking the door open, Audrie saw a large group of men standing around. A few of them were smoking some sort of thing, and others were playing cards. "Warn who of what?" Audrie arched an eyebrow expectantly.  
  
The gasp of surprise was soon followed by warm greetings: "Spades!", "What're you doing in here? It's been so long!" and "How much is that shirt worth?"  
  
"You didn't answer the question."  
  
"Well, come on," Ballin grinned from a corner, "They've just seen you after so many years and you expect them not to say anything? I told you we've missed you."  
  
"Okay, nice to see everyone. Joy, joy and all that lot." Audrie stared at them.  
  
"You're no fun, Spades. Come join us in cards. If you beat me we'll tell you what's what."  
  
"How about you just tell me what's what." Audrie brandished a knife from her boot. There was an astonished silence.  
  
"Stop joking, Spades. Put the knife away. We're family. Besides, there's thirty of us here, and only one of you. Opposition like that isn't friendly." A middle-aged man spoke up, but grinned.  
  
"Opposition like that!" Audrie glared at them, outraged, "Here you are, plunging in and trying to take over a castle that has hundreds of able bodied fighters! And you talk about thirty to one! Taking down a castle like this takes an army, not thirty half-starved thieves."  
  
The silence changed from astonished to slightly annoyed.  
  
"You listen here, girl." An old man stood up from the corner, "You may pretend to be strong, but we have a girl who could beat you any day. I'll go call over to Spades and she'll teach you ta mind yer mouth."  
  
There was a light cough. "He's, um, lost a bit of his memory." Another cough.  
  
"I don't have time for this."  
  
Ballin suddenly glared at Audrie. "So, now that you're Miss I've-Stolen- From-Tortall's-Finest-Lords-and-Ladies, you don't want to associate with us half-starved thieves, hm? Not that a I can blame you. Although, it's interesting that we were half-starved when you joined us and we were half- starved most of the time you knew us. Sure," He stormed up to Audrie, "Go ahead and just estrange us all! Never mind that that old man right there taught you your best slight of hand tricks! That the man you threatened with a knife was the one who taught you how to properly cheat at cards! Feel free to just ignore us! I guess we never mattered to you anyway."  
  
Audrie stared emotionlessly at Ballin. "If you had one ounce of sense you'd realize that by asking these men - the ones that taught me everything I know, as you said- to go into the palace you're giving them their death wish. And I don't want them to die, simply because they matter so much to me. But if they want to listen to you, then fine. It's not my choice anyway. But you ought to at least explain what you meant by warning someone."  
  
"Remember when you said it'd take an army to storm this castle?" A little boy that Audrie didn't recognize spoke up and Audrie nodded to his question. "Well, there is one. Right up in the hall. We've been here for a while so we saw them come in. They've been here for a while now. We heard 'em talking about their plans. We were wonderin' if we should tell the nobles."  
  
"Well then." A cold feeling washed over Audrie. "Well."  
  
A silence pursued as they all looked to Audrie to answer their predicament.  
  
"What're you waiting for? The army'll destroy or take anything that would be of value to you. Let's go." With that, Audrie headed out of the room back in the direction she had originally been coming from. How this would all work out without her being hung she had no idea.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Author's Notes: Hunh. Well, guess what? Two more chapters left (or one, depending upon how long I can drag the climax out to be. I've never been very good at that). So yep, the pairing is Audrie/Raoul, but I wouldn't say no to an alternate ending. See you next Saturday (don't you just hate me?) Any mean reviewers will receive emails from me flaming them and on the last chapter I'll be announcing specific thank-yous to favorite reviewers and such. You can think of it as reviewing the reviewer. 


	19. The Final Chapter Which Should Have A Dr...

Listen, this is the last chapter. No alt. endings, though I had planned some. Any continuations will be by someone else. That someone else can be anyone (check with me first though) except for a select few, who will be rejected for reasons that they do not deserve to get their way. I hope you know who you are. And by the way, I've started a new fic, A Player in Distress. I don't know how you all will react, but I like it, even if you don't  
  
I think by this point you know what I own or don't own. It's the 19th (XVIV) and final chapter for christ's sake. And if you don't, I'm very worried about you.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Audrie walked nervously back the halls she had just passed. Logic told her, in the annoying way it always does, that she wouldn't exactly be welcomed back into palace after her lovely speech. She had no doubt about that, but the question was how in the Goddess' name she would convince them that there really was an army in the tunnel below them, waiting to attack.  
  
She her the sound of whispers behind her, and saw Balin and the other men running up silently behind her, talking in hushed voices.  
  
"So you're coming then?" She raised an eyebrow expectantly.  
  
"Are we family?" They chorused, in the way they used to chant to each other when sneaking into an army base to raid it.  
  
Following this there was an icy silence. "Not exactly, any more. I thought we had clarified that. But I'll still take that as a yes."  
  
"Can't avoid family." Balin smiled and clapped her on the back.  
  
"I've been avoiding mine since I was five." Again, an uncomfortable silence.  
  
"Well, we're certainly not going to let you wiggle your way out of this family." He replied, "We're coming with you whether you like it or not."  
  
"Audrie'd be proud of this young'n." A creaky voice came from the crowd.  
  
"Isn't he a bit old to be coming along?"  
  
"Oh, he doesn't know any better. For all I know he thinks you're out bathing and will be back in twenty minutes."  
  
"Audrie's bathing?" The creaky voice piped up once more, and then there was a loud rustling, and a hiss of "The bathing pool isn't that way! There is no bathing pool!" and a disappointed "Oh. Then where's Audrie?"  
  
Audrie decided to ignore that and continued walking. At last she came to the ladder that led up to the way she had come down. Taking a deep breath, she climbed up and lifted the trap door.  
  
Or at least, attempted to. There was a strange heavy weight preventing her from lifting it, so she pushed with all her might and thrust the door open. To find that there was someone standing on the tile. More specifically, the king had been standing on the tile, but had been thrown off when Audrie lifted it up.  
  
Popping her head out, she smiled brightly and said, "What a coincidence to see all of you here! You know, I never would have though I'd be seeing any of you in a place like this!" She climbed out but kicked Balin in the face as he tried to climb up as well, a silent signal that he was to stay in there.  
  
There was an awkward silence as the whole of nobility, all of whom had returned to the ballroom to finish the dances, stared at Audrie in surprise.  
  
"You don't have to be so surprised you know. It's not like I had a choice."  
  
"You didn't have a choice?" The king stood, livid with anger, "You steal from us, you insult us, you disappear and then claim you had no choice but to return? I don't see how you couldn't have just gotten away with all of this!" He smiled slightly cruelly, "Unless feminine instincts cut in and you felt just terribly guilty about the entire deal and had to turn yourself in to the authorities."  
  
Audrie gaped at the King's stupidity. "I'm sorry, did you just refer to me, feminine instincts and guilt all in the same sentence?" She stuck her pinkie in her ear and pretended to try to clean her ear out. "Because if there is one thing I don't have, it's a conscience. Nor do I have what you call 'feminine instincts'."  
  
From below her there came a muffled addition, "And a bust. You really need to grow a few inches in that way." If a glare could penetrate floors, Balin would have wet his breeches.  
  
"So tell me," The king was still slightly discolored, and Audrie couldn't help noticing that he developed purplish splotches when he was angry, "Why is it that you had to return, despite your better judgment." The last two word were acid.  
  
"Well, you know," Audrie replied casually, "There's this army slightly blocking the exit to the tunnel. Otherwise I would have had little qualms with leaving entirely. But you know how it is, one person against an army never works out.  
  
There was an overwhelming silence until the author got sick and tired of so many silences. After this there was a rush of chatter and discussion about the possibility of the truth in this. Audrie started slinking off, rationalizing that telling them was good enough for her. Until someone grabbed her hand.  
  
"Nothing more I know!" She snapped before she even turned around. Instead she found herself being faced by Raoul. "Oh. Oh, sorry. I-I didn't mean to..." She trailed off. After weeks of him knowing her as a lady, it felt strange for her to speak to him as a thief yet not have to avoid giving herself away.  
  
"Is there really an army?" He stared seriously.  
  
"Would I lie to you?" She nearly bit her tongue as the words came out.  
  
He blinked in surprise. "I don't know. But this is so important."  
  
"Look, I know I'm not the most honest person, but I'm really not lying. Not something like an army. Too many lives at stake."  
  
"Then show me. If there's an army, we need to know the number of forces, and perhaps we could find out who they are..."  
  
There was a muffled voice that sounded like "Mphff- Mrf-MHFF!!"  
  
Audrie glared and walked over to the tile stomping on it violently, shouting, "Will you shut up down there already?!"  
  
Everyone stared at her until she explained nervously, "Uh, old friends?"  
  
Finally the king decided to ignore the voices and said, "How do we know you're telling the truth? It's not another part of your plan?"  
  
Audrie took a stab at Raoul's idea, "I'll show you. Or another knight, if you prefer to protect yourself." There was a silent implication that if the king refused he would forever be a weakling to everyone present in the room.  
  
The king nodded soberly but ordered Raoul to come with him. Audrie smiled sweetly and thumped the trap door, opening it neatly. This only annoyed the king more. Particularly when he nearly stepped on Balin's face in attempting to enter the passageway.  
  
"Terribly sorry, young man I didn't mean to step on your face." He apologized before even realized that he was speaking to someone who shouldn't be there.  
  
"Don't worry about it, he gets it all the time from me. At least your shoe is cleaner." Audrie waved the king's apology away.  
  
The king stared at her blankly. "And who is this man?"  
  
Audrie smiled eerily cheerfully. "You mean, who are these people. These people are old friends, like I said before."  
  
"Then remind me what they are doing in the passageway below my castle."  
  
"Can't say, I haven't seen 'em in years myself. That's why they're old." She managed to smile at the king yet glare at Balin at the same.  
  
As she, the king and Raoul entered the passageway, the king saw why she had said 'they'. Around thirty men were loitering around the passageway. Some had begun to play cards.  
  
"Come on boys," Audrie shouted and rapped a few on the head with her knuckles, "Show these to lovely nobles where that army is."  
  
There were a few annoyed grumbles, but everyone rose from wherever they had been and started off towards the exit of the passageway.  
  
The king continued to chat with Balin, who glared nastily at Audrie, who had encouraged the acquaintance. Meanwhile. Audrie and Raoul drifted to the back of the group.  
  
There was the awkward silence of people who haven't seen each other in eight years and are wondering how the other has changed. But they had just seen each other little more than an hour ago. At last Raoul spoke up.  
  
"About that ring you stole, it--"  
  
In the darkness, Raoul didn't notice that Audrie's body had twitched just slightly as he said that, but she didn't wait for him to continue. "Sorry about that. I know it must have been important to you. After all, it was in your pocket, and I know you never carry jewelry very often." It occurred to Audrie how that sentence would be taken and added, "By observation only, of course."  
  
Raoul took this in for moment. "Why did you lie about knowing anything about the Ace of Spades? I mean, you were so offended when I asked, and assumed I was accusing you being a thief. But, well, you were."  
  
"But," Audrie faultered at how to explain her anger, "It was supposed to be in character," She sighed. And then changed her mind and added, "And besides, you didn't know I was a thief at the time, so it was the concept of being accused of something you really didn't know whether I was doing or not. I suppose I was over reacting."  
  
"And your assistant? Who was that really?"  
  
"Me. Rather entertaining really."  
  
"You?!" He looked at her incredulously. "But how-- when did you--?"  
  
"If I can pull off looking sandy blond and a noble for three weeks, do you really think that being a redheaded assistant to myself is that hard?"  
  
The pieces seemed to plunk themselves into place. But there was still one off. "Why?"  
  
"You know George, right?" Raoul nodded warily. "Well, let's put it this way, if I wasn't here right now, I'd be ear-less. And I'd rather keep my ears, thank you."  
  
There was an awkward silence as Raoul took all of this in. And then he felt in his pocket for the ring, and looked to Audrie. "Listen, Audrelinia..."  
  
"It's Audrie. I've never liked my full name."  
  
"So that's your real name?"  
  
"Unfortunately for me, yes." She looked up as everyone suddenly slunk to a wall and pressed against it tightly. Out of habit she did this automatically in time with them, leaving an extremely confused Raoul standing in the open. She grabbed him by the sleeve and dragged him to the wall.  
  
"What's going on?" He hissed to her.  
  
"The army. It's past this bend."  
  
There was a clamor of noises past the bend, including two that seemed very close by. Audrie peered around the corner and found herself less than five feet from two men sitting and looking over a map.  
  
"The men are hungry." One said.  
  
"There will be food there. You need not worry. We have them by surprise." The other replied.  
  
"Which one was it that pointed out this tunnel again? Weedy little man, wasn't he?"  
  
"The Seating Arranger. Apparently he was somewhat bitter that his love life with the noble ladies wasn't the best and his wages weren't quite equivalent to what a knight earns."  
  
Audrie started frothing at the mouth. Well, nearly. At the very least she started having spasms and looking as though she was trying to strangle an invisible person while mouthing, 'He's out to get me! I knew it!'. While Balin dragged her away from trying to go out and attack the two men, the king took her spot and listened in for some time.  
  
At last, after twenty minutes, the king nodded silently, and the group of men walked silently back down the hall, until they were confident they were out of sight and earshot. Migrating to the center the of passageway once more, they continued walking silently for some time. Finally, the king stopped and turned to the group.  
  
"Three hundred. They said there are three hundred men. How are we to stand up against that?" He looked at the thieves desperately.  
  
"You'll have us." Balin piped up.  
  
Audrie glared at him incredulously. "Twenty minutes ago, you--!"  
  
He smiled and walked hissed in her ear, "I figure we'll get some sort of bounty for this. Which is just as good as robbing him."  
  
Audrie ignored him, a frozen smile on her face. "And you'll have my support as well. We're not untalented."  
  
"Thirty men against three hundred?"  
  
Audrie gaped in surprise at the king. "Excuse me? There are certainly thirty men, but in no way may you not consider me capable!" She began to shake in outrage.  
  
"You may be a thief but you are no warrior." He replied evenly.  
  
Before the king could even react Audrie slammed him against the wall of the passageway, pressing a knife to his throat. "I don't care who you are, you don't say things like that to me. I have more ability than the knight you chose to bring as protection. You can ask him if how he injured his shoulder in Corus if you like." She released the king from the wall and turned her back on him. "Though I'm not sure if I'd like to protect your castle after that."  
  
The king coughed slightly and turned red in the darkness. Audrie couldn't tell if it was from embarrassment or anger. At last he nodded and said, "I believe it would be in both of our interests if we ignored that encounter. But I'll give you this: if you are as capable as you claim, and if you protect this castle, I will dismiss all accusations of thieving against you. In return for the warning, your profits of the theft will be considered a reward as service to the king."  
  
Audrie stopped in surprise. She stood silently for some time, staring blankly. "That would be... acceptable, I suppose. But don't go advertising it." She replied finally, and continued walking.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
The group climbed out of the passageway, to see an extremely nervous group of babbling nobles. When they saw the king, they started chattering even more. "Calm down!" Audrie finally snapped, "There weren't any assassination attempts going on."  
  
There was a collective sigh from the nobles, while several ladies rushed over to Raoul to flirt (ladies had a tendency to comfort themselves with what they do best: flirting). Meanwhile, the king explained the situation to the nobles. Several men drew their swords violently, and younger pages started begging around for a sword.  
  
"They attack in two hours!" Audrie shouted above the clamor, "We have to be prepared! They'll be aiming for us to be at the end of the ball, extremely tired and having no idea about them. The only way we can defend ourselves is surprising them by being prepared." She looked to the king, "How many do we have here?"  
  
"Perhaps two hundred men?" He sighed, "And pages and squires. But they're not an army."  
  
"But we have something far better than an army," Audrie grinned. "We have thieves. And thieves are trained to fight many at a time. They'll be more use than an army." She winked at Balin. "The enemy will attacking from multiple places, most likely between guard changes. I want at least thirty men guarding each entrance. And kill each man as he comes out of this passageway. I want another ten men guarding my room as well."  
  
"So you can be nice and protected?" Scoffed a knight.  
  
"So they don't decide to come in that way. Do you think I landed into that room by coincidence? There're two hidden passageways in there, and I don't want them left open for anyone. And don't forget to guard the kitchen side entry. I've noticed you tend to leave it unguarded even when you're guarding the front entrances. Here's a little hint: enemies never use the front door."  
  
"How do you know so much about storming castles and such, anyway?" One noble snapped.  
  
"You don't want to know." She replied coldly.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
By the time an hour and a half had passed, many ladies had left the ballroom to go to their rooms for safety. But Audrie couldn't help grinning as she saw several 'large boned' ladies glaring nastily at nothing in particular and carrying 'large objects of significant weight'. Such as chairs. And fireplace pokers, some of which they had been heating in the fireplaces. They all happened to remind the thieves of their mothers, an image more terrifying than any army.  
  
Audrie paced the room, until an awful thought struck her.  
  
"That little weasel has gotten away !" She shouted, and several people looked at her oddly. "The seating arranger! He's not here!"  
  
"Listen, Audrie," Gary clapped her on the shoulder, "I know you hated the little bugger for always seating you with people you hated, but you needn't kill him or anything."  
  
"No, you don't understand, he was the one who told the army about the hidden passageway! He's the person who got us all into this!" Audrie protested and ran out of the room.  
  
She ran down the hallways, looking for the slimy little man. Ducking into hallways, she checked each room but found nothing. She frowned as she saw that her own room was still unguarded. But as she ran into her own room, she saw something out of the corner of her eye running towards her. It had brown, oily hair, and his face was a mountain range of pimples. Audrie automatically knew him from his smell alone, though he was only at the end of the hallway and obviously hadn't spotted her.  
  
She realized that he knew about the passageways in her room, and was obviously heading to them to escape. An evil thought skipped happily into her head. She grinned and hid behind her door.  
  
His breathing was heavy and erratic as he came into the room, muttering darkly. Despite this, he was grinning, and licked his lips as he headed towards the closet. Strangely enough, he hadn't noticed that the room was entirely empty.  
  
As he opened the closet, Audrie snuck up behind him and grabbed his neck with one hand, digging in with her nails and using the other hand to pull his hand behind his back, leaving his other hand flailing to grasp something.  
  
"You know," She hissed into his ear, "I'm not like those knights, who have to keep the leader alive to do negotiations or have a fair trial that will be rigged. I just prefer to skip those steps and go right to the conveniently mysterious deaths."  
  
"Can't...breath...!" The seating arranger was turning slightly blue.  
  
"Oh, I know. Do you think I actually care?" She loosened her grip just slightly, mostly so that he could actually speak. "Care to explain why the hell you did all of this."  
  
"Nobles... are... bastards...." He was still slightly blue, but less so than before.  
  
"Oh, I agree. Emphatically so. Doesn't mean I go and try to take over their castle. Particularly not by giving up the locations of secret passageways to enemies. Speaking of which, care to identify who these pains are? I care to know."  
  
Suddenly his free hand wandered to places it shouldn't. And Audrie threw him to the ground and slammed her heel into where most men say it shouldn't. Of course, even though she was wearing her boots and not high heels, he wouldn't be bearing children anytime soon.  
  
He curled up into a fetal position and started whimpering. Audrie nearly laughed until she heard shouts coming from the ball room. She cursed and ran from the room, leaving a weeping seating arranger behind.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Audrie entered the ball room to find it a bloody battle room. Amazingly, the 'well-built' women seemed to be doing more damage than the men who had only their swords. The women would stand over a group of men, bear down on them and glare, saying, "If you don't stop this foolishness right now, young men, you'll wish your mother had never given birth to you! And while you're at it, go thank your mothers for raising you, clothing you, bathing you, changing your diapers..." At which point they would whimper, nod, and back away. The various heavy objects in their hands encouraged the reaction.  
  
Audrie ran to a table and grabbed a wine bottle. After smashing the end of the bottle on the table, she ran over to where Raoul was fighting. Audrie grabbed a man coming up behind Raoul, thrust him around to face her and slashed the bottle across his face and then slammed it into his stomach, breaking it. He groaned and fell to the floor as Audrie ran over to the table. This time she took a full bottle, poured it on one man's head, and smashed it over his head as well. She didn't bother to check if he was dead.  
  
Running through the chaos, Audrie went slipping knives into enemies backsides as they tried to sneak up on knights. She spotted Torran fighting with only a knife against a knight and holding his own, and she couldn't help but feel vaguely proud. She smiled and tapped the knight behind Torran on the shoulder. The knight turned around looking slightly confused and she whacked him over the head cheerfully. She winked at a triumphant Torran, who was standing over the knight's body and grinning. Then she pointed out the fact there were plenty more knights to kill.  
  
It then occurred to her, in all this chaos, that her room had been left available. She began to run out of the ball room when a proud man suddenly stood in front of her, grinning sadistically.  
  
"Ah, more family reunions?" Audrie grinned. "You know I've never been one for family, brother."  
  
"Perhaps." The smile didn't leave his face. "But mother and father always hated you, so it didn't matter. Now, you were the one who revealed this whole thing weren't you. Slept with the Seating Arranger to find out?"  
  
"You always did have a sick mind, even when you were nine and I was four. But no, I stumbled upon you and your little plan on my way out. Coincidence really. Thieves always believe in coincidence. Or at least convenience. Whatever's most convenient works." Audrie shrugged. "Of course, I think it was less mother and father hating me but more you hating me and them going along with it."  
  
"Oh no, they hated you too, for your lack of proper manners and such. But I hated you far more. Not that they know about this. I decided it would be a lovely surprise for them."  
  
"Ah, such a caring family we all were." Audrie sighed, falsely melancholy. "Don't you think so, James?"  
  
"Don't be an idiot. You should've stayed. You could've married and been incredibly well off."  
  
"Oh yes, definitely well off. But miserable. At least this way I'm happy, Jammie." Audrie replied tauntingly, bringing up his childhood 'cuddle' name. "And our little sister didn't turn out so terribly. She's interested in falconing. Perhaps I'll talk to her after all of this."  
  
James never replied. Instead he brought his sword up to fighting position and slashed at Audrie's throat. She ducked barely, and realized that while he had a sword, she had only her knives and a bottle, unbroken, in her hand.  
  
For some time he continuously attacked, smashing tables and other men as she avoided each stroke. The blade swished past her ear, piercing into her shoulder. She bit her tongue and tasted blood in her mouth. Wincing in pain she backed into the wall. He raised the blade above him to strike down.  
  
"Clumsy, clumsy." She muttered, and rushed in to elbow him while he left himself open. "Any decent fighter knows to never leave himself open as obviously as that."  
  
He backed away slightly and she spat blood into his eyes. She swung her foot out to his knees and heard a satisfying 'crunch' as his kneecaps shattered and he crumpled to the floor. She stood before him, as intimidating as Death himself.  
  
"And any decent fighter knows not to leave yourself in reach the enemy." He replied, as he grabbed her leg and flung her to the ground. Her head slammed against the marble floor, and her head reeled for a second as James took the bottle out of her hand.  
  
He grinned and told her, as she tried to get everything into focus, "You ought to die by your own techniques, don't you think? This ought to do fine." He brought the bottle down onto the stone floor. And then screamed in pain.  
  
"You can't do that." She smiled slightly, seeing him leaning over her. "You see, if you don't smash it at the right angle, it shatters it your hand."  
  
She reached over and squeezed his injured hand, as though comforting him. But he screamed in even more pain: she was squeezing the glass further into his palm, and she knew it. Wine irritated the cuts even more.  
  
"People can lose hands that way." She smile, propped herself up on her elbows and drew out a knife from her sleeve. "But I imagine you needn't worry about things like that when you're dead."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Audrie drew herself to a stand with a struggle, and wobbled slightly as she stared at the fighting that continued on. She took a deep breath and headed to the door, this time not blocked by any unfriendly relatives.  
  
She began running at an uneven gate once she entered the halls. Her head still ached though, and she kept on tripping on nothing. She finally came to her room and saw, with a sick feeling in her stomach, several men coming from the closet. The Seating Arranger was there, smiling proudly, and chatting easily with the growling men.  
  
Before she even thought, anger swelled in her. The Seating Arranger had caused all of her troubles. If he hadn't told James where the secret passageway had been, she could have been trotting through the woods thinking of her bounty. But it was all his fault.  
  
And she slipped one of her knives in her sleeves into her hand, and let it fly silently through the air. She almost felt it was unfortunate that he died so painlessly. As the men suddenly looked directly at her, she ran.  
  
Her feet ached as she ran back to the main hall, the knights close behind her. She could hear them shouting obscenities at her and she was afraid to look back to see how close behind they were. Something told her it was too close.  
  
She suddenly turned the corner and found herself in an empty noble's room. She flew around to find herself facing an unhappy group of at least fifteen men holding swords. One of them muttered something about what he would do to her, and a chill ran down her spine.  
  
She began throwing her knives with all of her might, hitting several men in the head. Nearly eight had fallen to the ground when she realized that, for the first time in her life she had run out of knives to pull out. She started backing away as the seven left began to grin at the look on her face.She turned and, before they could barely react, open the window and thrust herself outside.  
  
She could feel the wind ripping around her, nearly blowing her off the roof. She closed her eyes and tried to control her ragged breathing. She looked out to the muddy ground below her, the tiles wet from melted snow as well.  
  
The men began to cram themselves through the window and by the time she opened her eyes again, three of them were on the roof and heading towards her. She smiled placidly at them as the wind blew her clothing around her, and then rushed towards them.  
  
She threw one to the side, rammed her elbow into the next and kicked the third in his 'sensitive areas'. Anything to get them down. She flew into a rage and hit, kicked and bit everything she could. She flung the first down the wet tiles, and he slid down and after a brief flight met the ground with a sickening 'splut'. The other two met similar fates.  
  
Audrie stared at them on the ground for a moment, and then saw two more men standing behind her, and a third coming to join them. She had barely turned around when a loose tile slid beneath her and sent her shooting off the roof. At the last second she landed in a tree that, though without any leaves, broke her fall. And she landed to the ground, she fell to unconsciousness.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Audrie blinked awake to find herself staring at a ceiling. She tried to sit up but winced in pain as every muscle in her body screamed in defiance. She groaned and stared at the ceiling.  
  
An hour or two passed and Audrie started feeling as though she was on a long carriage trip, except at least in those there's scenery to stare at. She was beginning to memorize the nooks and crannies of the ceiling, noting a crack in the paint here, a missed patch there. There was even an odd discoloration in the middle. Several songs drifted into her head to pass the time- only the most annoying of all songs she knew, of course. She started counting, starting from one. By the time she gave up, she had gotten to 6,352. She was beginning to wonder why some countries didn't try this technique for torturing; it'd be far more effective that any iron maiden. She began to wonder if hell wasn't all flame and demons, but rather an extremely boring situation that went on for eternity. Silently, Audrie was screaming.  
  
At last she heard several voices from the hallway. She tried to look to the door but it was out of her view. The voices were quiet and seemed to be taking their jolly time either entering the room or passing buy. Almost as though they were trying to be mean.  
  
At last she finally shouted, "Either talk louder so I can listen in or shut up!"  
  
"Audrie?!" The voices ran over to her and she found the belonged to Jered, Selia, Gary and Alan. They all grinned at her.  
  
"We thought you were still asleep." Gary grinned apologetically.  
  
"I am blood well not. I've been awake for hours. I manage not to die in that fight and here I am dying of boredom!" She made a face as Jered propped her up against several pillows. "And if don't get some company I'm going to scream!"  
  
They talked for several hours, and Audrie was told the list of names of who survived, who died, and who was injured. The only group of people- out of pages, squires, knights, thieves, etc.- who hadn't been harmed whatsoever was, interestingly, the group of intimidating women. Apparently the king was considering offering a few to join the army as a secret weapon.  
  
Out of the groups of thieves, Audrie was surprised to discover that her senile old friend had done some eery damage, and had survived without a scratch. Balin was with the other in the kitchens, and had only ended up with a flesh wound in his side.  
  
When she found out that Torran had been injured she tried to climb out of her bed, but the instant she was on her own feet she crumpled to the floor. Jered helped her up and supported her and, with the reluctant permission of the healer, led her to the page's room with the others.  
  
As Audrie entered his room, she found him asleep, but Alan informed her that he hadn't woken up since he had been injured in the battle. She stared at him momentarily.  
  
"If you don't bloody wake up this instant I'll take a bottle to uncomfortable places." She glared at the boy, whose eyes flew open instantly as the others stared on in stunned silence.  
  
"That was harsh, Spades!" He protested, "Pages never get any rest!"  
  
"Well you won't get any sympathy from me. You get out to the training fields right now. I saw you fighting, you didn't bother to keep your eyes out for extra enemies. That's what got you the injury, fool. How many times have I told you-"  
  
"I know, I know. 'Don't assume there's ever only one person to kill. More always pop up.' I forgot."  
  
"Well I saw you. You've been slacking off and it's a shame to my name. If you don't go out and practice you'll be wishing I was still unconscious."  
  
The boy meekly nodded and grabbed his training clothes while Audrie eyed him icily. He changed hurriedly in his closet And rushed out the door to the training fields.  
  
"And you know him... how?" Gary finally asked.  
  
"I'm not sure you care to know," Audrie smiled calmly. "And if I don't get out of this castle this minute I will scream bloody murder. Anyone care to go for a walk?"  
  
The three looked at each other and finally Alan and Gary claimed they had 'Something to do'. Jered smiled and led Audrie out of the room.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
She passed through the halls with Jered supporting her, and couldn't help noticing the sad faces and dark clothing.  
  
They wandered outside the palace silently and after some time Audrie had to request to sit down. She sighed and wondered why she hadn't seen Raoul yet. She almost wondered if they weren't telling her where he was in order to 'spare the pain'.  
  
She sat and stared at the snow falling over the frozen mud as Jered stared at her. From the corner of her eye she saw someone coming towards them, and she turned to see Raoul limping up to her.  
  
She smiled and rose as he came over, but crumpled to the ground. Raoul helped her up and she leaned on him. He must have nodded or something to Jered, because the latter man simply nodded and walked off, though looking slightly depressed. Raoul led her back to the stone bench.  
  
"Audrie, everyone's been so worried about you. Even Alan's cat has been haunting the healer's room."  
  
"My injuries weren't that bad." She brushed the concept of worrying about her away.  
  
Raoul stared at his toes for a minute while Audrie stared at him confusedly. At last he started, "About that ri--"  
  
"Who was that ring fo--"  
  
The two stopped and stared at each other. At last, Raoul replied, "You. I mean, that is, it was for you. I... wanted to give it to you to say good bye. Since you were leaving the next day. I was planning to give it to you on Thursday, but you weren't there, and then on Friday, well everything came up and now it's two weeks later."  
  
"Oh... Yes. I had thought you were going to give it to a lady." Audrie turned slightly pink. "I mean, well, to propose."  
  
"I was."  
  
"Oh." She blinked twice. And turned even redder.  
  
"But take it either way. Since you don't have to worry about your fief."  
  
Suddenly Jonathan popped up out of nowhere. "Speaking of which!"  
  
"Goddess!" Audrie nearly jumped into the air. "You nearly terrified me to death there."  
  
"Your mother and father wanted to thank you emphatically for saving their lives. The general of the army admitted that it was an assassination attempt on their and the King and Queen of Tortall's lives. And as a result they have decided to recind their disowning of you. Congratulations, your highness!" Jon bounced away into the foliage, laughing eerily ("Ohhohohohohohohohoho"), sending a shiver down Audrie's spine and making Raoul wonder how sane the boy was. (AN: Sorry for the OOCness, I couldn't help it)  
  
The two stared at each other momentarily.  
  
"I wasn't meant to be a princess. I have to talk to them. Perhaps I can convince them to just leave me alone and let my sister take over and marry a weak little man she can manipulate properly. It's how all proper kingships are done."  
  
Raoul nodded soberly, but stared at his pocket. There was an awkward silence until he finally asked, "Would you at least keep the ring?"  
  
"I never said I wouldn't." Audrie took the ring her offered and slid it onto her middle finger. She grinned at him, winked and said, "Life is always more interesting with a twist, isn't it? This should be a fun one."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
AN: You knew I had to do a sweet ending, didn't you? Minor note: The reason why I stopped it there is because I have absolutely no clue how it would have worked out. Maybe she would've stayed in Corus and been at the palace half the time and at the Dancing Dove the other half. And when he started traveling, she would go with him and pickpocket people on the street. Who knows. By the way, this is my first fic I've actually completed. And oh my god I talk a lot. Did you realize that this story goes on for over 150 printed pages? In a book that would be at least a three hundred page novel. It's taken me a year. By the way, for a list of my favorite (and least favorite) reviewers, read my BIO (and here's another hint: I provide spoilers and important announcements about future and current fics in my bio, so you should read it). Extra Note: This chapter was 15 pages, 6,352 words. Do you think this means I talk too much?  
  
OWARI (END) 


End file.
